Text 2953, 227 rader
Skriven 2005-10-30 11:07:22 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: B O O
=================
 GP> On (27 Oct 05) Greg Sears wrote to All...

 GS> unconditional love, to exert the idea of childhood innocence upon
   > all I came across, if not enforce it.

     -=> George Pope Replied in a message to Greg Sears <=-

 GP> No innocense left!
   > Offered a little girl some Halloween candy today and she just said,
   > "Uhng-uh, show me your dick first!"

     G-day Mate, I've heard that before...like in the....

Japanese POW camp.  "Today we have good news and bad news."

Good news: Every man gets a change of skivvies.  Hooooray!!!!!!

Bad news: You change with him, you change with him, you ch.....

> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

Sailor sleeping over at the Farmers home who just happens to have a
young and sexy wife.

I like to sleep on my right side near a light, cause I read said the
Hairy ass. (term of endearment for Canadian sailor)

I like to sleep on my right side facing out too, said the Farmer.

Ok he tells the hairy, as we've only one bed, you sleep on the left side
at the top, wife will sleep in the middle at the top and I will sleep on
the right side at the bottom.  All went to bed, hairy ass reads a book
for about 20 seconds and shuts out the light.  Turning over to wifey he
kisses her lips and whispered, what are those? My lips she replied and
and you can kiss them all you want.  10 minutes later he kisses her
nipples and inquires again, my boobies she replies, and you can kiss
them all you want.  He then kisses her a little further down and she
replied, it's my belly button, and you can kiss it all you want. 10
minutes later she whispers, I think he's asleep now, so the hairy goes
further down, gives it a kiss, asks what is that?
"It's my goddamn foot, and it's staying there till morning."


> OBJoke: for Me. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

 From: 1001 Ways to Avoid the Draft.

 Authors: Tuli Kupferberg and Robert Bashlow

  1. Grope J. Edgar Hoover in the silent halls of Congress.
  2. Get thee to a nunnery.
  3. Fly to the moon and refuse to come home.
  4. Die.
  5. Become Secretary of Defense.
  6. Become Secretary of State.
  7. Become Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare.
  8. Show a li'l tit.
  9. Castrate yourself.
 10. Invent a time machine and travel back to the 19th century.
 11. Start to menstruate. (Better red than dead.)
 12. Attempt to overthrow the Government of the United States by force
     and violence.
 13. Advocate sexual freedom for children.
 14. Shoot up for a day.
 15. Refuse to speak to them at all.
 16. Enroll at the Jefferson School of Social Science.
 17. Replace your feet with wheels.
 18. Rent a motel room with a ewe.
 19. Rent a motel room with a ram.
 20. Say you're crazy.
 21. Say they're crazy.
 22. Get muscular dystrophy when you're a kid.
 23. Marry J. Edgar Hoover.
 24. Take up residence in Albania.
 25. Stretch yourself on a rack so that you become over 6-1/2 feet tall.
 26. Marry your mother.
 27. Marry your father.
 28. Blow up the Statue of Liberty.
 29. Marry your sister.
 30. Marry your brother.
 31. Marry your daughter.
 32. Join the Abraham Lincoln Brigade.
 33. Marry your son.
 34. Marry Lassie.
 35. Marry President Johnson.
 36. Marry Mao Tse-tung.
 37. Proclaim that Mao Tse-tung is the Living God.
 38. Proclaim that YOU are the Living God.
 39. Stamp your foot in the earth like Rumpelstiltskin and refuse to eat
     until our boys return from Viet Nam.
 40. Get elected Pope.
 41. Get elected to the Supreme Soviet.
 42. Get lost.
 43. Shoot A for one month.
 44. Grow seven toes on your head.
 45. Commit an unnatural act with Walter Jenkins.
 46. Make the world go away.
 47. Wear pants made of jello.
 48. Say you area wounded veteran of the LUTTE DES CLASSES.
 49. Solder your eyelids shut.
 50. Ride naked through the streets riding a white horse.
 51. Declare war on Germany.
 52. Tell the draft board that you will send your mother to fight in
     Viet Nam in your place.
 53. Study Selective Service reports in malingering and military
     medicine, and/or military psychiatry texts or journal articles on
     the same subject, and use the clever methods they describe.
 54. Organize your own army and advance on Washington.
 55. Tell the psychiatrist that if he doesn't let you into the army
     you'll kill him.
 56. Turn yellow.
 57. Infiltrate your local board.
 58. Don't agree to anything.
 59. Contact Addison's disease.
 60. Contact Parkinson's disease.
 61. Contact Bright's disease.
 62. Contact Hodgkin's disease.
 63. Contact Cushing's disease.
 64. Contact Frhlich's disease.
 65. Announce that you have become the bridegroom of the Virgin Mary.
 66. Announce that you have become the bridegroom of Jesus Christ.
 67. Get your friend's to crucify you.
 68. Counterfeit money and omit the motto IN GOD WE TRUST.
 69. Become a publisher of smut and filth.
 70. Become the publisher of the Little Mao Tse-tung Library.
 71. Prove that Brezhnev is a Trotskyite wrecker.
 72. Burn down the building located at 39 Whitehall Street.
 73. ...450 Golden Gate Ave.
 74. ...536 South Clark Street.
 75. ...55 Tremont Street.
 76. ...916 G Street NW.
 77. Burn down the Pentagon.
 78. Burn baby burn.
 79. Write a best-selling novel which portrays the CIA as incompetent.
 80. Catch St. Anthony's fire.
 81. Say you'd be happy to serve because it'll be easier to kill the
     F***en Americans who are interfering with the freedom of Viet Nam.
 82. Recite the Pledge of Allegiance 2400 times a day.
 83. Cut off your ears. In ancient times no animal was sacrificed unless
     it was a perfect specimen.
 84. Cut off your left ear and send it to the draft board.
 85. Grow a tail.
 86. Learn to talk with your anus.
 87. Become a graduate student in a subject vital to the national
     security, such as epistemology of phenomenological methodology.
     Achieve your degree only after fifteen years of 2-S.
 88. Grow old fast, or
 89. When you reach the age of 17 don't get any older.
 90. Drink an elixir that will cause you to shrink to a height of 2 feet
     3 inches.
 91. Buy a slave and send him in your place.
 92. Take your girlfriend when you get called and insist that you will
     not serve unless you can sleep with her at night.
 93. Take your boyfriend when you get called and insist that you will
     not serve unless you can sleep with him at night.
 94. Take your mother when you get called and insist that you will not
     serve unless you can sleep with HER at night.
 95. Take your chihuahua when you get called and insist that you will
     not serve unless you can sleep with IT at night.
 96. Wet your bed.
 97. When the doctor tells you to spread your cheeks, let him see the
     fire-cracker you have planted there beforehand.
 98. Handcuff yourself to Lenin's tomb.
 99. Handcuff yourself to Nicholas Katzenbach and shout: "We will not be
     moved!"
100. Travel to Havana.
101. Grow a long straggly black beard with maggots crawling all over it.
102. Travel to Hanoi.
103. Travel to Pyongyang.
104. Travel to Peking.
105. Travel to Washington and tell them you intend to travel to one or
     more of the above countries.
106. Publish a satirical pamphlet purporting to advise young men how to
     beat the draft.
107. Tell the psychiatrist that you are a closet queen.
108. Tell the security officer that you are a brother of Allen Ginsberg.
109. Tell the security officer that you are brother of Ralph Ginzburg.
110. Hand out copies of this book at the induction center. When they
     tell you you cannot do this, ask if it's all right if you sell
     them.
111. Make sure that by one method or another you get to see the
     psychiatrist. Don't let them rush you through without your chance.
     If necessary you should faint, scream, or start crying.
112. Give the psychiatrist your standard three-minute lecture in favor
     of bi-sexuality, being sure to mention again and again that animals
     do it.
113. Tell them that you will leap into you grave laughing.
114. Run for the House of Representatives on the platform that Red China
     should be invited to send its surplus population to colonize New
     York and Arizona.
115. Commence psychotherapy with Dr. Robert Soblen.
116. Ask Gus Hall to go down to the induction center for you the day you
     are called.
117. Write a letter to the New York DAILY NEWS stating that the Viet
     Cong are nothing more than peace-loving agrarian reformers.
118. Use an American flag for a breechclout.
119. Contract tertiary syphilis.
120. Steal a laser and fight it out with the CIA.
121. Develop bleeding stigmata.
122. Cop out.
123. Conspire with a known homosexual in the Soviet embassy in Ankara.
124. Conspire with a known heterosexual in the U.S. embassy in Ankara.
125. Become chairman of the Committee to Legalize Marijuana.
126. Develop an otherworldly metaphysical system and live by its
     precepts.
127. Cut off your head.
128. Cut off your sergeant's head. (NAPA)*
129. Walk into the induction center carrying an octopus.

 * Not a pacifist act.

Translated into binary form by Erik Hetzner.

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