Text 2975, 159 rader
Skriven 2005-11-05 08:21:42 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: F unny
==================
 GP> On (02 Nov 05) Greg Sears wrote to Cindy Haglund...

 GS>                                   THE WORD?
   >
   >    Between 1950 and 1952, a bored weatherman, stationed north of
   > Hudson
   > Bay, left a monument that neither government nor time can eradicate.
   > Using a bulldozer abandoned by the Air Force, he spent two years and
   > great effort pushing boulders into a single word.
   >      It can be seen from 10,000 feet, silhouetted against the snow.
   > Government officials exchanged memos full of circumlocutions (no Latin
   > equivalent exists) but failed to word an appropriation bill for the
   > destruction of this cairn, that wouldn't alert the press and embarrass
   > both Parliament and Party.
   >      It stands today, a monument to human spirit.  If life exists on
   > other planets, this may be the first message received from us.
   >                 -- The Realist, November, 1964.

     -=> George Pope Replied in a message to Greg Sears <=-

 GP> And what's the word he wrote with boulders?

 GP> Words. . .

"The Word That Keeps Popping Up"
National Law Jrl., 3/28/94, p. A27

   If it seems that penises have been getting more press lately, it's
not your imagination.

   Attorney Andrea Sachs, the law reporter for Time magazine, recently
took a closer look at the male appendage -- as it has appeared in the
media since the criminal trials of John and Lorena Bobbitt.

   For a freelance article in the March-April edition of the Columbia
Journalism Review, Ms. Sachs counted the number of occasions the word
penis showed up in print and interviewed media honchos about it.

   "I spent an hour on the phone with NBC trying to find out if Katie
Courice had indeed said the `P' word on the air," Ms. Sachs says.  "I
quickly overcame any inhibitions about this subject."

   But then Ms. Bobbitt whacked her husband's member with a kitchen
knife, and all bets were off.  The once-taboo term began making its way
into family newspapers everywhere.

   Ms. Sachs discovered that during the first half of last year, the
word penis appeared less than 20 times.  In a few short months after the
Bobbit [sic] incident the owrd came up more than 1,000 times.

   "Reporters are very irreverent people," says Ms. Sachs.  "I think
that's why this is happening."

   Ms. Sachs worked for about five years as an attorney for the National
Labor Relations Board, where she ways she was "bored and unhappy" before
finding her true calling in journalism.

   "Going from law to journalism is swimming upstream financially," says
Ms. Sachs.  "But journalism's where the fun is."

   "When I was in law school, the goal was to become the president," Ms.
Sachs recalls.  "When I was in journalism school, the goal was to bring
down the president."

> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

Two hours ago, I got a phone call from my step-daughter, who was
crying and in complete hysterics. She said "I just got home from town,
and found Jack (her step father) on the side of the road!"

I said, "Jack? My God! Is he o.k.?"

"No!", she cried, "he's DEAD!", and went into another fit of hysteric
crying.

I then asked her if there was someone there with her, and she said
yes, her boyfriend was there. I told her to just hang on, we (my
husband and I) would be there in two minutes. Well, we jumped in the
van, and drove at breakneck speeds the 15 miles to her house, running
stop signs, swerving on the muddy roads. While enroute, I used the
cellular phone to dial 911, who notified the RCMP and ambulance. I
also called my step daughter to see if she had also made the necessary
phone calls. She said she had not, and I figured she must be in shock.
Who wouldn't be?

We arrived in record time.

As we approached the driveway, we were looking for a body on the side
of the road. Not seeing anything out of the ordinary, my husband
dropped me off at the house, and left to look for the body of his long
time friend. He was close to tears, and we were both pumped with
adrenelin. We could hear the sirens of the police and ambulance
approaching. I ran to the house and was greeted by my stepdaughter,
who threw her arms around me and burst into tears again. While
comforting her, I asked her boyfriend where the body was. He, with
tears in his eyes, said "I put it behind the trailer"

I said "WHAT???? You put Jack's body behind the trailer?????"

"No!", he replied. "Jazz! Our dog Jazz got hit by a car!"

It was a *really* quiet ride home!


> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

        One day, all of the animals in the zoo decided to have a
football game.  On one side, there was the lion (coach), the bear, the
rhino, and the gazelle.  On the other side, there was the tiger
(coach), the elephant, the giraffe, and the hippo.  The tiger lost the
coin toss, so his team had to kick.  He goes to the giraffe and says,
"All right.  I want you to kick it long and kick it deep, but keep it
away from the rhino.  'Cause he'll run it right up the middle for a
touchdown."  Giraffe says, "OK coach."  So he kicks it long and he
kicks it deep, and he kicks it right to the rhino.  Sure enough, the
rhino runs it right up the middle, knocks everyone flat on their butt,
and scores a touchdown.  From that point on, it's a pretty close game.

        At halftime, the score is still 7-0.

        Now the tiger ain't very smart, so he elects to kick again.
Goes up to the giraffe and says, "I'm gonna give you one more try.
Now you kick it long, and you kick it deep, and BY GOD keep it away
from the rhino.  I mean, Christ, he's got scouts here from the
professional zoos and everything."  Giraffe says "OK coach."  Giraffe
kicks it long...
                               He kicks it deep...
                               He kicks it right to the 1-yard line...

                                        (Right to the rhino.)

        Next thing you know, the rhino is at the 50...
                                             the 40...
                                             the 30...
                                             the 20...

        and "ker-pow", down he goes, flat on his face.  The lion and
the tiger come out running to see what happened.  Lion says, "What
happened to you, rhino?  You had it made."  Rhino says, "I got
tackled."  Points down at a caterpillar.  Lion laughs, "You're joking,
right?"  Rhino: "No, sir.  Hardest damn hit I EVER took."  Tiger looks
down at the caterpillar, says, "Well, if you're so good, where the
hell were you in the 1st 1/2 when I needed you."  Caterpillar looks up
and says...

        "In the locker room, putting on my shoes."


.Cheers,            .:/
.                ,,///;,   ,;/
. I C E-man     o:::::::;;///
.              >::::::::;;\\\
. Still          ''\\\;,   ,;\
.       Fishing     `:\

... Cool! I figured out the Sysop's passwor$>@7& NO CARRIER

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