Text 2977, 81 rader
Skriven 2005-11-08 02:07:44 av George Pope (1:153/715.1275)
     Kommentar till en text av ceri@twmba.net
Ärende: Woman's Instruction Book
================================
On (07 Nov 05) ceri@twmba.net wrote to All...
 c > 1.  Never do housework.  No man ever made love to a woman because the
 c > house
 c > was spotless.

not so -- I am quite happy to do a woman in her (clean) house, because
there's all these surfaces to do "it" on that don't exist in my home!

 c > 3.  Don't imagine you can change a man -- unless he's in diapers.

Don't imagine your wife won't change -- unless she's dead & cremated.

 c > 4.  What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?  You lock the door
 c > behind
 c > him.

..if your girlfriend walks out?
   Grab her address book & copy down the names/numbers of her hottest
   friends quick!

 c > 9.  The only reason men are on this planet is that vibrators can't
 c > dance or
 c > buy drinks.

And women are here because sheep can't do the dishes?

 c > 10.  Never sleep with a man who has named his penis.

Never fuck a woman who would laugh at the name you named your mighty
warrior of love!

 c > 12.  A man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest Jump is
 c > unquestionably gay.

Women have it figured out -- if a guy's outfit is coordinated, he's
either gay, married, or still dependent on his mommy -- either way she
writes him off!

 c > 15.  Women don't make fools of men.  Most of them are the
 c > do-it-yourself
 c > type.

he: I was a fool when I married you
she: I know, dear, but with the pregnancy thing to worry about I hardly
noticed!

 c > 16.  The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest that
 c > they're
 c > too old for it.

and to get a woman to do something, just point out how the younger
neighbour woman does it!

 c > 19.  The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years,
 c > proving
 c > that even in biblical times men wouldn't ask for directions.

Actually, they did, often, but then they relied on their wives to
explain them as they went, and the women would go, "I think it's this
way, no, turn back, it's THAT way. . . no,errr... try that way. . ."

 c > 21.  A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh, all right,
 c > I'll
 c > stay the night,"

And only cuz the taxis don't run that late or he figures on getting
breakfast out of the deal!


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