Text 3171, 138 rader
Skriven 2005-12-04 10:40:52 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Thought for Today
=============================
 GP> On (02 Dec 05) Greg Sears wrote to George Pope...
 GS>  GP> The bum asks for 50 cents to get a cup of coffee.
   >    > The businessman pulls out $1,000.00 bill and says, "This is
   >    > all yours if you'll show me where a man can still get a cup
   >    > of coffee for only 50 cents!"
   >
   >  G-day Mate, the bum was heard to reply.... at welfare centre on
   >                                             main street & 1st avenue!
   >                                             Thanks for the money offer
   >                                             mate now I can shout 2,000
   >                                             others!

         -=> George Pope replied to a reply from Greg Sears <=-

 GP> Not here -- no free coffee at the smellfare offices anywhere!

   G-day Mate, guess you forgot the Salvation Army blokes..Everywhere! '-)

 GS>   CyberPope was terribly disturbed at the huge size of his winter
   > heating bill.

 GP> Why?  I don't pay for heat OR hot water! (that's why I can afford to
   > keep my apartment at 25`C all year-round!)

   G-day Mate, Oh well maybe it was a conserned CyberPope! The environment
               thingy and ALL.......you understand! OR---not cause you're
               from the part of the world that uses more energy per capata
               than most other places in the world, except the oil-rich...


> OBX-mas: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

        "The Worm Before Christmas"
            by Clement C. Morris

    (a.k.a. David Bradley, Betty Cheng, Hal Render,
        Greg Rogers, and Dan LaLiberte)

Twas the night before finals, and all through the lab
Not a student was sleeping, not even McNabb.
Their projects were finished, completed with care
In hopes that the grades would be easy (and fair).

The students were wired with caffeine in their veins
While visions of quals nearly drove them insane.
With piles of books and a brand new highlighter,
I had just settled down for another all nighter ---

When out from our gateways arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter;
Away to the console I flew like a flash,
And logged in as root to fend off a crash.

The windows displayed on my brand new Sun-3,
Gave oodles of info --- some in 3-D.
When, what to my burning red eyes should appear
But dozens of "nobody" jobs.  Oh dear!

With a blitzkrieg invasion, so virulent and firm,
I knew in a moment, it was Morris's Worm!
More rapid than eagles his processes came,
And they forked and exec'ed and they copied by name:

"Now Dasher!  Now Dancer!  Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On Comet!  On Cupid!  On Donner and Blitzen!
To the sites in .rhosts and host.equiv
Now, dash away!  dash away!  dash away all!"

] Note:  The machines dasher.cs.uiuc.edu,
dancer.cs.uiuc.ed, prancer.cs.uiuc.edu, etc. have
been renamed deer1, deer2, deer3, etc. so as not
to confuse the already burdened students who use
those machines. We regret that this poem reflects
the older naming scheme and hope it does not confuse
the network administrator at your site.  -Ed.(

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the phone,
The complaints of the users.  (Thought I was alone!)
"The load is too high!"  "I can't read my files!"
"I can't send my mail over miles and miles!"

I unplugged the net, and was turning around,
When the worm-ridden system went down with a bound.
I fretted.  I frittered.  I sweated.  I wept.
Then finally I core dumped the worm in /tmp.

It was smart and pervasive, a right jolly old stealth,
And I laughed, when I saw it, in spite of myself.
A look at the dump of that invasive thread
Soon gave me to know we had nothing to dread.

The next day was slow with no network connections,
For we wanted no more of those pesky infections.
But in spite of the news and the noise and the clatter,
Soon all became normal, as if naught were the matter.

Then later that month while all were away,
A virus came calling and then went away.
The system then told us, when we logged in one night:
"Happy Christmas to all!  (You guys aren't so bright.)"

> OBX-mas: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")


AN ELECTRONIC CHRISTMAS/CHANUKAH CARD TO ALL
    Lyrics by Evan Leibovitch, code by Beverly Erlebacher

    Dedicated to anyone who's left their computers alone
    just long enough for them to self-destruct:

    (Sung to the tune of something or other...)


On the first day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
 A burnt-out V.D.T.

On the second day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
 Two faulty tapes;
 And a burnt-out V.D.T.

On the third day I left it, my Unix gave to me:
 Three heads crashed;
 Two faulty tapes;
 And a burnt-out V.D.T.



        -=-                          -=-
     (\  _  /)                    (\  _  /)
     ( \( )/ )     I C E-man      ( \( )/ )
     (       )    Wishes You      (       )
      `>   <'  Seasons Greetings   `>   <'
      /     \    09 December 05    /     \
      `-._.-'                      `-._.-'
 

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)