Text 3265, 223 rader
Skriven 2005-12-19 12:47:31 av George Pope (1:153/715.1275)
Ärende: Miscellaneous Shorties for the Season
=============================================
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes


What did one Christmas tree say to the other Christmas tree?
I really go fir you!


What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!


What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
The letter "D".


What is claustrophobia?
Fear of Santa.


Why is the month of December so popular?
It has a lot of dates.


The more you take away, the bigger it gets - what is it?
A hole


Which Christmas carol becomes false the moment you sing it?
"Silent Night"


Why kind of car would a baker drive?
A "Rolls"


What has a foot on each end and one in the middle?
A yardstick


How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?
Don't feed it !


Why did the reindeer wear black boots ?
Because his brown ones were all muddy !


How long should a reindeer's legs be ?
Just long enough to reach the ground !


Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach ?
Because he didn't want to be recognized !


Which reindeer have the shortest legs ?
The smallest ones !


Where do you find reindeer ?
It depends on where you leave them !


Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Igloo
Igloo who ?
Igloo Suzie like I knew Suzie... !


Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Mary
Mary who ?
Mary Christmas !


Why couldn't the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ?
He had no body to go with !


Why couldn't the butterfly go to the Christmas ball ?
It was a moth ball !


How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party ?
Chick to chick !


If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
Missletoe!


Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it soots him.


What did Tarzan sing at Christmas time?
Jungle Bells.


Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Wenceslas
Wenceslas who ?
Wenceslas train home ?


Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Snow
Snow who ?
Snow business like show business !


Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Wayne
Wayne who ?
Wayne in a manger... !


Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Donut
Donut who ?
Donut open till Christmas !


Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Oakham
Oakham who ?
Oakham all ye faithful... !


Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Avery
Avery who ?
Avery merry Christmas !


Knock Knock
Who's there ?
Holly
Holly who ?
Holly days are here again !


How do sailors get their clothes clean?
They throw them overboard and then they are washed ashore


Who sings "Love Me Tender," and makes Christmas toys?
Santa's little Elvis


What did the Gingerbread Man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet


How does Santa Claus take pictures?
With his North Pole-aroid.


What do they call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses


What do you call Santa Claus after he's fallen into a fireplace?
Krisp Kringle


Who sings "Love Me Tender" and makes Christmas toys?
Santa's little Elvis


What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet


What reindeer has the cleanest antlers?
Comet


Where do Santa's reindeers like to stop for lunch?
Deery Queen


How does Santa Claus take pictures?
With his North Pole-a-roid.


What do you call the fear of getting stuck while sliding down a chimney?
Santa Claus-trophbia


What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claus



The above comes from the Cyberpapal text humour archives.

By reading the above file you've agreed to indemnify the Cyberpope,
George A. Pope, Cyberpope Enterprises, et al from all claims of damages
resulting from the reading of this message.


Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
|<+]::-) ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)



--- PPoint 1.76
 * Origin: Cyberpope pointing via Bandmaster BBS! (1:153/715.1275)