Text 3281, 182 rader
Skriven 2005-12-21 11:56:08 av George Pope (1:153/715.1275)
Ärende: Understanding Quebec
============================
In a busy Parisian café, a tourist is sitting alone,
enjoying a crème
caramel. Another tourist approaches:

Me sit here?

No problem...

Thank you, very nice...

Are you on vacation?

Me, I arrive yesterday...

What country are you from?

Norway. You?

From Québec.

Québec? Me not know Québec...

Québec... near the Atlantic, next to Ontario, the Great
Lakes...

No, me not know these places.

Never mind then, I'm from Canada...

Ah! Canada! Canada I know! So why you tell me you come
from Québec?

Because, my first country is Québec!

Oh, you were born in Québec and immigrated to Canada....

No, no, I was born in Québec and I stay in Québec...

Oh, then your father is from Canada?

No, no, my father, my mother, my wife, my dog, everybody,
they come
from Québec....

So why you say Canada?

For Christ sake, because you say you don't know where is
Québec!

OK, but if you say you not know Norway, me I not say that
my country
is Japan...

Shit! Canada isn't Japan. Canada, it's my country.

Oh, your country not Québec anymore?...

My country is Québec. But my country, it can be Canada
too, if the
person I speak to not know where is Québec, Tabarnak!

Me not understand...

Look, it's simple: I come from the Province of Québec, in
the country
of Canada.

Ok! But me not ask you what province you're from, I ask
you what
country. Me, I come from Lofoten region in Norway, but I
answer you
Norway when you ask me what country I come from...

I know, I'm not stupid, Câlisse! But me, when they ask me
what country
I come from, I answer Québec. Even if it's the name of my
province.
For me, it's my country.

Oh, now I understand. You are a separatist, you want your
Quebec
province to be your country...

Are you crazy, Hostie? I don't want to know nothing from
that shit!

Me, I not understand anything anymore.

I tell you before, it's simple! You ask me what country I
come from, I
answer Québec because Québec is my country, but I don't
really want it
 to be my country, it would be too much trouble. I just
want to say
it. So, why don't you just let me say it?

Me all mix up. You have passport from what country:
Québec or Canada?

CANADA, Hostie!

So why you not tell me Canada right away?

Because it don't feel right. For me, Canada is Anne
Murray, the
Calgary Stampede, the Mounted Police, SARS, it's not my
home all that.
Home, it's La Famille Plouffe, Séraphin Poudrier, La
P'tite Vie, Félix
Leclerc, La Poune, Les Canadiens de Montréal, Les
Bougons... Do you
understand???

Less and less...

Listen, forget all that shit. Ask me another question.

Ok, what town you come from?

Mmm..., I don't know anymore...

You not know what town you come from?

Yes, yes, I know what town I come from, but my town it
merge with
another town, but soon it is going to demerge from the
town that was
supposed to be my town...

Oh, that very complicated! When you write your address,
what do you
write?

I don't know anymore. Before, I used to write Hull, but
Hull changed
to Gatineau, but they tell us to wait 3 years before
stopping to write
Hull to not mix up the mailman. But now, the Liberals
they pass a law
that make it ok for Gatineau to be Hull again, but I
don't know if we
have to wait 3 years to be able to write Hull, or when
the 3 years are
passed, if we have to write Gatineau for 3 years, and
after we write
Hull. Unless, of course, the PQ come back in power and we
remerge with
Gatineau, then we'll have to write Gatineau for 3 years.

I leave now; I have hurt in my head...

It's so simple Tabarnak: My town is Hull, my country is
Québec. But if
you prefer, my town is Gatineau and my country is Canada.

OK, I think I understand!

It's about time. Anyway, it was fun talking to you, if
you come around
where I live; maybe you come and see me...

OK, but where? Hull in Québec or Gatineau in Canada?

You're a pain in the ass. Forget the whole thing

That, my friends, is the portrait of Québec!



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