Text 3386, 59 rader
Skriven 2006-01-21 08:50:18 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av Cindy Haglund
Ärende: A story
===============
Dear Sir,

I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile. My reasons are
numerous, and after being married for 7 years and having 7 children I
have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are totally useless.

After getting married I was advised to use the 'Rhythm Method'.
Despite trying the Tango and the Samba, my wife fell pregnant and I
ruptured myself doing the Cha Cha Cha.

A doctor suggested using the 'Safe Period'. At the time we were living
with in-laws and had to wait for 3 weeks for a safe period when the
house was empty. Needless to say, this didn't work.

A lady of several years experience informed us that if we made love
whilst breast feeding we would be alright. It's hardly Newcastle Brown
Ale, but I did finish up with clear skin, silky hair and felt very
healthy, and my wife was pregnant.

Another old wives' tale we heard was that if my wife jumped up and down
after intercourse this would prevent pregnancy. After constant breast
feeding, including my earlier attempts, if my wife jumped up and down
she would finish up with two black eyes and eventually knock herself
unconscious.

I asked a chemist about the 'Sheath'. The chemist demonstrated how easy
it was to use, so I bought a packet. My wife fell pregnant again, which
doesn't really surprise me as I fail to see how a durex stretched over
the thumb, as the chemist showed, can prevent babies.

She was supplied with the 'Coil' and after several unsuccessful attempts
to fit it, we realised we had got a left hand thread and my wife is
definitely a right hand screw.

The 'Dutch Cap' came next; we were very hopeful of this as it did not
interfere with our sex life at all, but alas it did give my wife severe
headaches. We were given the largest size available but it was still
too tight across her forehead.

Finally we tried the 'Pill.' At first it kept falling out, then we
realised we were doing it wrong. My wife started putting it between her
knees, thus preventing me getting anywhere near her; this did work for
a while until the night she forgot the Pill.

You must appreciate my problem. If this operation is unsuccessful, I
will have to revert to oral sex, although just talking about it can never
substitute for the real thing.


Cheers,     ,     .________________________________________________.
       ,___/.___. | Trucking through life with a smile on my dial! |
  ,___/__] ||   | |             -=[ The I C E-man  ]=-             |
  |.__!____!!___! !________________________________________________!
  "~(@)[___][___]==(@)(@)=|    *--------------------* =(@)(@)(@)~'

... Cool! I figured out the Sysop's passwor$>@7& NO CARRIER

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