Text 3405, 93 rader
Skriven 2006-01-29 08:33:49 av Cheryl Anne Roynon (2296.funny)
     Kommentar till en text av Fido-Net.FUNNY
Ärende: funny sundays
=====================


Richard Roynon
rroynon@earthlink.net
Why Wait? Move to EarthLink.



  10 Stupid People


    1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim 
during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did 
something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried 
the trigger again. This time it worked.


    2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting 
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his 
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of itsmen 
to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger.

    The chef's claim was approved.


    3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car 
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had 
taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.





    4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver 
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from 
Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the 
driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free 
ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the 
staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. 
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.


    5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head 
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the 
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he 
could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.


    6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the 
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the 
man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk 
promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving 
the $20 bill on the counter. The total  amount of cash he got from the 
drawer? ...$15.


    If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime 
committed?)


    7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that 
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some 
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at 
the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the 
head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of 
Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.


    8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man 
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman 
was  able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within 
minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and 
drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to 
stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's 
her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."


    9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a 
Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded 
cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash 
register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk 
said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.


    10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on 
a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at 
the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near 
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to 
steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank 
by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that 
it was the best laugh he'd had in years.
--- SBBSecho 2.11-Win32
 * Origin: Time Warp of the Future BBS - Home of League 10 (1:14/400)