Text 3674, 156 rader
Skriven 2006-03-11 08:47:44 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: A joke
==================
 GS>  GP> So did she get the money?
   >  WHAT money?

        George Pope was saying F unny stuff to  Greg Sears  

 GP> As part of his possessions, maybe, as metioned in the original story,
   > portions quoted above top 2 lines?

   SURE.............

 GP> More wills. . .

  Back in medieval times, a thoroughly apocryphal story tells us, the
Roman Pope was persuaded by some of the more conservative advisers to
endure no longer the presence or Jews in the very heart and core of
world Christianity. The Jews of Rome were therefore ordered evicted from
their homes by a certain date.

  To the Jews of Rome this was a great tragedy, for they knew no refuge
where they might not expect worse treatment than in Rome. They appealed
to the Pope for reconsideration and the Pope, a fair-minded man,
suggested a sporting proposition. If the Jews would appoint one of their
own number to engage in a debate with him, in pantomime, and if the
Jewish representative were to win the debate, the Jews might remain.

  The Jewish leaders gathered in the synagog that night and considered
the proposition. It seemed the only way out but none of their number
wished to volunteer to debate. As the chief rabbi said, "It is
impossible to win a debate in which the Pope will be both participant
and judge. And how can I face the possibility that the eviction of the
Jews will be the result of my specific failure?"

  The synagog janitor, who had been quietly sweeping the floor though
all this  suddenly spoke up. "I'll debate," he said.

  They stared at him in astonishment. "You, a cheap janitor," said the
chief rabbi, "debate with the Pope?"

  "Someone has to," said the janitor, "and none of you will."

  So in default of anyone else, the janitor was made the representative
of the Jewish community and was appointed to debate with the Pope.

  Then came the great day of the debate. In the square before St.
Peter's was the Pope, surrounded by the College of Cardinals in full
panoply, with crowds of bishops and other churchly functionaries.
Approaching was the Jewish janitor, surrounded by a few of the leaders
of the Jewish community in their somber black garb and their long gray
beards.

  Pope faced janitor, and the debate began.

  Gravely, the Pope raised one finger and swept it across the heavens.
Without hesitation the janitor pointed firmly toward the ground, and the
Pope looked surprised.

  Even more gravely, the Pope raised one finger again, keeping it firmly
before the janitor's face. With the trace of a sneer, the janitor raised
three fingers, holding the pose just as firmly, and a look of deep
astonishment crossed the Pope's face.

  Then, the Pope thrust his hand deep into his robes and produced an
apple. The janitor thereupon opened a paper bag that was sticking out of
his hip pocket and took out a flat piece of matzo.

  At this, the Pope exclaimed in a loud voice, "The Jewish
representative has won the debate. The Jews may remain in Rome."

  The janitor backed off, the Jewish leaders surrounded him, and all
walked hastily out of the square.

  They were no sooner gone than the church leaders clustered about the
Pope. "What happened, Your Holiness?" they demanded. "We did not follow
the rapid give-and-take."

  The Pope passed a shaking hand across his brow. "The man facing me,"
he said  "was a master at the art of dabate. Consider! I began the
debate by sweeping my hand across the sky to indicate that God ruled all
the universe. Without pausing an instant, that old Jew pointed downward
to indicate that nevertheless the Devil had been assigned a dominion of
his own below.

  "I then raised one finger to indicate there was but one God, assuming
I would catch him in the error of his own theology. Yet he instantly
raised three fingers to indicate that the one God had three
manifestations, a clear acceptance of the doctrine of the Trinity.

  "Abandoning theology, I produced an apple to indicate that certain
blind upholders of so-called science were flying in the face of revealed
truth by declaring the Earth was as round as an apple. Instantly, he
produced a flat piece of unleavened bread to indicate that the Earth, in
accord with revelation, was nevertheless flat. So I granted him
victory."

  By now, the Jews and the janitor had reached the ghetto. All
surrounded the janitor, demanding, "What happened?"

  The janitor said indignantly, "The whole thing was nonsense. Listen.
First the Pope waves his hand like he's saying 'The Jews must get out of
Rome.' So I point downward to say 'Oh yeah? The Jews are going to stay
right here.' So he points his finger at me as if to say 'Drop dead, but
the Jews are leaving.' So I point three fingers at him to say 'Drop dead
three times, the Jews are staying.' So then I see he's taking out his
lunch, so I take out mine."

> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant


  A shy young man, desperately tongue-tied in the presence of girls,
sought for advice from an older and wiser head.

  "My boy," said the man of experience, "all you have to do is get
started with one remark. Let me give you three topics that never fail:
relatives, food  and philosophy. Make one comment on any one of these
fields, and the girl is sure to start talking. From her talk you will
derive another comment, and so on. It never fails."

  On the very next occasion when the young man found himself in the
company of a girl, the usual appalling silence fell and they sat there
on the sofa like frozen statues. Finally, the agonized man remembered
the advice he had received and forced himself to make a remark on the
subject of relatives.

  He said, "Do you have a brother?"

  And the young lady replied briefly, "No!"

  The young man retreated into his shell at once. Had she only said yes,
he might have inquired about his age, the color of his hair, the place
he went to school. There could have been infinite room for discussion.

  Well, what about food then? After several false starts, the young man
managed to say, "Do you like noodles?"

  And the young lady replied, just as briefly as before, "No!"

  Again, he was stymied. Had she said yes, he could easily have gone on
to ask if she liked them in soup or with meatballs, and from there to a
discussion of Italian cooking.

  The moments passed and the haggard young man fell back on the final
topic, philosophy.  Tensely he said, "Tell me, if you had had a brother,
would he have liked noodles?"



    .------------.
   / I C E-van|[0]\
   |  _       |_ice\ Cheers,
~ ~=-(@)------(@)-=/ I C E-man
##############################

... George Pope. . . . Said that 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2?

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)