Text 3693, 123 rader
Skriven 2006-03-16 19:30:00 av George Pope (2599.funny)
   Kommentar till text 3683 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
Ärende: Re: Book
================
GS>  GP> Then why did YOU say the story's author was unknown, but probably
GS>    > Stan whatshisname?
GS>
GS> Ok, just checkin' to see if you're paying attention/reading this shit?

The standard excuse, when caught, eh?
Joke's on you, I'm NOT paying attention!

Pay attention, while paying for the date?

Let's say a guy asks you out.  Stop and think about your
comparative economic situations.  The odds are, he makes more
money than you do. Guys don't generally date "up", and even if
professionally you're at the same level, he's getting paid more
money for doing the exact same job. So he can afford to pay for you.
(Frankly, if you're hoping to marry and have children with this man,
he's making enough money to support a family when you have to take a
maternity leave and raise his offspring.)

But, in case you need more justification, read on:

Now, for him to ask you out, think about how you looked when he saw
you. Your haircut?  It cost more than his.  Your clothes?  Not only
are they more expensive, but women's fashions change more rapidly
than men's, so you've spent far more money getting dressed.  And 
when
you take it to the dry cleaners, or the laundry, they charge you 
more,
even though there's less fabric.  Even if every line item in your
wardrobe was identical, think about the two items that you have that
he doesn't: that bra (and probably not a cheap one,you were wearing
-- the Wonderbra, or he wouldn't have bothered in the first place)
and pantyhose.  Expensive, and they run.  Oh, did I mention 
cosmetics?

So, it's cost you a lot more money, just to get to the point where 
he's
inclined to ask you out.  And HE asked YOU out. In business, if 
someone
asks you to lunch, they're paying, right?  You don't even think 
about this,
do you?  Okay.
So, he comes to pick you up.  That apartment of yours?  Because 
you're a
woman, you have to think about living in a safe (read: more 
expensive)
neighborhood.  You insist on an "upper" apartment, which is at least 
$10
more a month.  How about the pepper spray in your purse, or the cell 
phone
for emergencies?

How many guys have that stuff to defend themselves from those
marauding
bands of female rapists and muggers?  How about all the times you've 
valet
parked because you don't want to walk a block or two in THAT 
neighborhood?
If you live in New York, all the times you've taken a cab home 
instead of
the subway because it's not safe for a woman to be out at that hour?

You go out, you let him pay.

It goes well, (because even if they bitch and moan about it, paying 
does
make them feel like a man) he keeps asking you out.  So, why not 
reach for
the wallet now?

Are you planning to have sex with him?

So, that annual check-up you get just to make sure that all the 
parts
are working properly?  Unless your gynecologist knows the insurance
scam,that's at least $100 a year that's not covered. And then, 
there's the
birth control issue.  Okay, at first, maybe for awhile, you're using
condoms. He might even be paying for some of those, at pennies a 
pop.  But
we've done the math. We know what the failure rates are there.  So 
even if
Trojan Man is paying a visit, we're probably employing a backup 
method. 
You read Cosmo. You know.

Everything is expensive and laden with hideous, probably not 
entirely
known, side effects. The only inexpensive, side-effect-free method 
of 
birth control is the word NO. Which doesn't always work, and that's
expensive and really shitty if it fails.

So there you have it.  He asked you to dinner, he picked the 
restaurant,
let him pick up the tab.  Be a charming companion - you know the
expression "dining out on that story..." If you want to do something
nice for him, make him dinner once in awhile.  Buy really nice 
lingerie.
Stock up on his favorite brand of condom.  Pay for your half of the
vacation. But never, ever, pay for the date.  No amount of sushi at
Matsuhisa can possibly compensate for what it cost you to get your 
butt
in that chair.

I'm all for equality, and letting a guy buy you dinner once in a 
while is
a very fair way to even out the financial (and psychic) costs of 
being
an attractive female that men want to buy dinner for.


Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
|<+]::-) ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)

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