Text 3784, 99 rader
Skriven 2006-04-02 07:30:47 av George Pope (1:153/715.1275)
   Kommentar till text 3768 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
Ärende: Ha ha
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On (30 Mar 06) Greg Sears wrote to George Pope...
 GS>  GP> Jews, Jews, everywhere there're Jews. . .
 GS>
 GS>     Right, and for some places they're not welcome! ;-)))

Now why should that be?

The rules are only for themselves, not others (unlike Xianity, which
says everyone needs to do it their way, or DIE!!!) (ditto for Islam!)

The Rules of Judaism:

If you can't say something nice, say it in Yiddish.

If it tastes good, it’s probably not kosher.

After the destruction of the second temple, God created Loehmann's.

No one looks good in a yarmulke.

Why spoil a good meal with a big tip?

WASPs leave and never say good-bye. Jews say good-bye and never leave.

20% off is a bargain; 50% off is a mitzvah.

Israel is the land of milk and honey, Florida is the land of milk of
magnesia.

Pork is forbidden. but a pig-in-a-blanket makes a nice hors d'oeuvre.

Always whisper the names of diseases.

One mitzvah can change the world, two will just make you tired.

If you don't eat, it will kill me.

Anything worth saying is worth repeating a thousand times.

Next year in Jerusalem. The year after that, how about a nice cruise?

Never leave a restaurant empty handed.

Spring ahead, fall back, winter in Miami Beach.

Before you read the menu, read the prices.

According to Jewish dietary law, pork and shellfish may be eaten only in
Chinese restaurants.

If you're going to whisper in the movies, make sure it's loud enough for
everyone to hear.

No meal is complete without leftovers.

If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it. But if you can afford
it, make sure you tell everybody what you paid.

 Never take a front-row seat at a bris.
.
The High Holidays have nothing to do with marijuana.

And what's wrong with dry turkey?

A good kugle sinks in mercury.
.
The important Jewish holidays are the ones on which
alternate-side-of-the-street parking is suspended.

A bad matzoh ball makes a good paperweight.

Without Jewish mothers, who would need therapy?

The only good thing more important than a good education is
a good parking spot at the mall.

It's not whom you know, it's whom you know that had a nose job.
.
.Laugh now, but one day you'll be driving a big Cadillac and
eating dinner at four in the afternoon.

There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand up
and tell his mother that he is an Adult. This usually happens at
around age 45.



Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)
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(I am the Bishop of ROM!)

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