Text 3857, 155 rader
Skriven 2006-04-09 01:12:14 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
Ärende: F unny shorts-2
=======================
If you want a short winter, have your loan come due in the spring.

OR ----------------------------------------

Salesclerk: "You make a small deposit, then pay no more for six months."
Customer: "Who told you about us?"
OR ----------------------------------------

God created orgasms...so you'd know when to stop.

OR ----------------------------------------

Senior partner: the fellow who has nothing to do between trips to
                Florida.
Junior partner: the boss' son.

OR ----------------------------------------

Have you heard about the Pullman porter who just finished reading his
first book?   It's about Berth Control.

OR ----------------------------------------

  There's another advantage in being poor.  The doctor will cure you
faster.

OR ----------------------------------------

"His doctor told him he was in as good shape as a man of 60, but the
trouble was he was only 45."

OR ----------------------------------------

"Oh, doctor,"  said the young lady, "will the scar show?"
"That, madam,"  said the doctor, "is entirely up to you."

OR ----------------------------------------

Doctor: "Well, you are coughing with less exertion today!"
Patient: "That's not surprising, doctor, since I practiced that all
night."

OR ----------------------------------------

Secretary (on phone): "He's gone to Washington to get a government loan
to pay back what he borrowed from the bank to pay his income tax."

OR ----------------------------------------

"May I have some stationery?" a man asked the hotel clerk.
"Are you a guest of the hotel?" asked the clerk.
"No, I'm paying sixty dollars a day," said the man.

OR ----------------------------------------

Write something that will live forever--sign a house mortgage.

OR ----------------------------------------

Nowadays, when you tell a teenager to shift for himself, he thinks
you're going to buy him a sports car.

OR ----------------------------------------

The ability to speak distinguishes us from the lower animals.  What we
say frequently doesn't.

OR ----------------------------------------

Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way
down.

OR ----------------------------------------

Tourist: A person who travels 1,000 miles to get a picture of himself
standing by his car.

OR ----------------------------------------

The most efficient water power in the world is a child's tears.

OR ----------------------------------------

"What did your teenage daughter do all summer?"
"Her hair and nails!"

OR ----------------------------------------

Rubbing elbows with any individual will reveal things about that person
you never suspected.  The same is true of rubbing fenders.

OR ----------------------------------------

Some of these teenage singing groups--they look like they've cut more
throats than records.

OR ----------------------------------------

The sum total of the world's debt is some total.

OR ----------------------------------------

To get something done, a committee should consist of only three people,
two of whom are absent.

OR ----------------------------------------

Children grow up so quickly.  One day you look at your car's gas gauge
showing empty and realize they're teenagers.

OR ----------------------------------------

"My son," the father was telling his neighbor, "wants to be `doing his
thing.' The trouble is, he doesn't have a thing to do."

OR ----------------------------------------

I think I know the cheapest guy in the world.   It was the first time I
ever saw anyone make their own paper clips.

OR ----------------------------------------

My wife claims I'm a baseball fanatic.   She says all I ever think about
is baseball.  I told her she's way off base.

OR ----------------------------------------

It happened in a teenage rock-n-roll joint.  The waiter dropped a tray
of dishes and six couples got up to dance.

OR ----------------------------------------

April 1 is the day we remind ourselves of what we are on the other three
hundred and sixty-four.

OR ----------------------------------------

Running into debt isn't so bad.  It's running into creditors that hurts.

OR ----------------------------------------

I believe it was Yogi Berra who once said, "When you come to a fork in
the road, take it!"


    .------------.
   / I C E-van|[0]\
   |  _       |_ice\ Cheers,
~ ~=-(@)------(@)-=/ I C E-man
##############################

... ÜßÜßÜÜßÜßÜÜßÜßÜ ‹ DRi¥K tì màkˆ éÂhÉ© pˆ•plä ¡Nt‰R‰StiïG. ßÜßÜßßÜßÜßßÜßÜ

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)