Text 391, 136 rader
Skriven 2004-10-16 04:39:56 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Ha ha
=================
Funny

 -=[14-Oct-2004 18:53, George Pope a rainy day in Christchurch]=-

 GS> San Francisco, California - Dan White, a city supervisor, killed Mayor
   > George Moscone and Harvey Milk, another supervisor. White's lawyers said
   > that eating a Twinkie had made his blood sugar level rise so high, it
   > caused his psychotic episode. this resulted in the charges against White
   > being dropped from murder one to involuntary manslaughter.

 GP> Fair enough, if the medical experts supported it. . .
   > HOWEVER, if it were me, if ever the guy ever ate another Twinkie, he
   > should be immediately charged with First Degree Murder Attempted,
   > because he obviously now knows that this is a reasonable expectation
   > of such snack!

  G-day George Pope, now-a-days if/when this joker gets out of the slam, he
                     and his lawyer will try a law suit on Twinkie! ;-)


 GS> Wandsworth, England - In 1993, Karl Watkin was sentenced to 18 months in
   > prison for pretending to have sex with a sidewalk. In April, 1996, he was
   > convicted of gross indecency and sentenced to 6 years in prison for
   > simulating sexual intercourse with garbage bags. In September, he
   > committed suicide in his cell.

 GP> Hmm. . . 6 years for PRETENDING to fuck a plastic bag!
   > What about all those people who really DO fuck plastic bags(okay,
   > they're actually made out of latex, and are usually called condoms,
   > but still. . . )

  G-day George Pope, maybe it was doing IT on the sidewalk TO the sidewalk
                     that was the difference.."convicted of gross indecency"


 GS> Vanuatu, South Pacific - The entire 300-men-strong police force of the
   > island nation was arrested after kidnapping a visiting politician from
   > Australia and attempting to use the hostage as leverage in a dispute with
   > the government concerning overtime pay.

 GP> Okay, this is a bit far-fetched, if the ENTIRE police force was
   > arrested, who was left to do the arresting?

  G-day George Pope, easy to follow if you're from down-under! Explains...
                     "It was the aussie police arrested the Vanuato police!


 > OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

"I Answered All My Spam"
by Alex Silbajoris, Columbus, Ohio

I Answered All My Spam

I never know what I might find,
on any day I go online.
I used to get in quite a huff,
while wading through unwanted stuff.
But then I changed the man I am,
the day I answered all my spam.

Now every time I check my box,
I load up on fantastic stocks.
I'll gladly say I felt no loss,
when, with a smile, I fired my boss.
With just one click, the best thing yet,
I freed myself of all my debt.

I have, paying a few small fees,
ten university degrees.
Now that I'm losing all this weight,
I'm sure, someday, I'll get a date.
Instead of going to a show,
I spy on everyone I know.
(That's easy, since I have in hand,
this nifty wireless video cam.)

I spend my evenings viewing screens,
of barely legal horny teens.
And with a little credit charge,
Whoopee! My penis was enlarged!
Meanwhile these shots of Britney Spears
should be enough to last for years.

And so I lead this online life,
my monitor is now my wife.
It has become my greatest dream,
to launch my own get-rich-quick scheme.
And if you think you might get missed,
relax, you're on my e-mail list.


 > OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

Signs the Car You Just Bought is a Lemon

1. As you leave the used car lot, you see the owner rush out
with a gigantic smile and high-five the salesman.

2. You notice that the car phone they threw in "for free"
has a direct line to Moe's Towing Company.

3. The booster cables are not in the trunk but are
permanently soldered to the battery.

4. The hood has been equipped with a push-button device
for quick and easy opening.

5. The "Purchased From" sticker at the bottom of the rear
license plate has been removed.

6. You get a "Good Luck" card from the previous owner.

7. As you drive up to a service station for gas, the
mechanic opens the big door to the service bay and waves
you in.

8. When you leave for work the next morning, you notice
a tow truck parked about a block from your driveway. As
you drive by, it silently falls in behind you.

9. The little "Service Engine" warning signal in the
dashboard comes on and reads "It's Me Again."


     . . . . o o o o o
           _____      0
  ____====  ]OO|_n_n__][.
 [________]_|__|________)<   Cheers,
  oo    oo  'oo OOOO-| oo\_  I C E-man 
+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+--+

... George Pope. . . . Said that 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2?

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