Text 3972, 57 rader
Skriven 2006-04-06 14:32:00 av George Pope
Ärende: The Baby Man
====================
The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start = their
family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed = his wife
and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon".

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer = rang
the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't = know me
but I've come to...." "Oh, no need to explain. I've been = expecting you,"
Mrs. Smith cut in. "Really ?" the photographer asked. = "Well, good! I've made
a specialty of babies." "That's what my husband = and I had hoped. Please come
in and have a seat. Just where do we = start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the = couch
and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor = is fun too;
you can really spread out." "Bathtub, living room floor? No = wonder it didn't
work for Harry and me." "Well, madam, none of us can = guarantee a good one
every time. But if we try several different = positions and I shoot from six
or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be = pleased with the results." "I hope we
can get this over with quickly," = gasped Mrs. Smith. "Madam, in my line of
work, a man must take his time. = I'd love to be in and out in five minutes,
but you'd be disappointed = with that, I'm sure." "Don't I know!!", Mrs. Smith
exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his = baby
pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London." = "Oh my
god!!", Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. "And = these twins
turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother = was so
difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the = picture.
"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I = finally had
to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People = were crowding
around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look." = "Four and five
deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. = "Yes", the photographer
said. "And for more than three hours too. The = mother was constantly
squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. = Then darkness approached
and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the = squirrels began nibbling on
my equipment, I just packed it all in." Mrs. = Smith leaned forward. "You mean
they actually chewed on your, =
eh......equipment ?". "That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll = set
up my tripod so that we can get to work." "Tripod??", Mrs. Smith = looked
extremely worried now. "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my = Canon on.
It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for = action. Madam?
Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted !!"

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