Text 3990, 204 rader
Skriven 2006-04-23 22:49:42 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Headed to Mexico - It's F
=====================================
FUNNY

 NP> PRESIDENT BUSH, I'M HEADED TO MEXICO

 -=[17-Apr-2006 11:02, George Pope replied IN a message to Nathan Prugh]=-

 GP> News Flash!
   > In an attempt to stem the spread of Avian Bird Flu, George Dumbya
   > Shrub began bombing the Canary Islands today.
   > May God be with the citizens of Turkey!

  G-day George Pope, what about the rest of the world???

> OBJoke: for the moderator of FIDONET's "FUNNY Jokes and Stories" echo

Baby Boom: Sound a baby makes when you throw it faster than the speed
           of sound.

Warehouse: A person who, during a full moon, transforms into a
           building.

Thoroughbred: A carefully prepared loaf.

Sonic Screwdriver : A very loud drink made with Vodka and Orange Juice.

> OB Qs & As: for  |<+]::-( ("Cyberpope"(the Bishop of ROM!))

Q. What's the definition of a peeping tom?
A. A window fan.

Q. What do you call a dozen and a half pigs in a pickup?
A. An eighteen squealer!

Q. Why do cows wear bells?
A. Because their horns don't work!

Q. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A. A flat miner!

Q. How do you get 1500 blue-haired old ladies to say "Damn!"
    at the same time?
A. Yell "BINGO!"

Q. What's the definition of endless love?
A. Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis!

Q. How do you know when you're drunk?
A. When you feel sophisticated, but can't pronounce it.

Q. What do you call a pimple on a Pollack's toe?
A. A brain tumor.

Q. What do you call a Mexican baptism?
A. Bean dip.

Q. How does a fag spell relief?
A. No aids!

Q. What will they call the first black test tube baby?
A. Janitor in a drum!

Q. Why don't Polish women breast feed their children?
A. It hurts too much to boil their nipples!

Q. What is long, black, and stinks?
A. The lineup in front of the unemployment office.

Q. What did the black lady get for using birth control?
A. A thousand dollars from Crime Stoppers!

Q. What's the difference between lawyers and vultures?
A. Lawyers get frequent flyer miles.

Q. How do you wreck a Pollacks' party?
A. Flush the punch bowl!

Q. What do you call a <ethnic> on a water bed?
A. Lake Placid.

Q. What's a favorite <ethnic> wine?
A. "You never take me anywhere"

Q. What do you call an ethiopian with a fur hat and boots on?
A. A Q-Tip!

Q. How do you make a tissue dance?
A. Blow a little boogie into it...

Q. What would Elvis be doing if he were alive today?
A. Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

Q. What do a necrophilic and a piece of gum have in common?
A. They both get hard in dead people's mouths.

Q. What is the definition of Gross?
A. A cheerleader doing the splits and six Varsity rings fall out!

Q. What does Yoko Ono have in common with Ethiopians?
A. They both live off of dead Beatles.

Q. How come all the homosexuals were the first to get out of San
   Francisco in the big quake?
A. They already had their shit packed!

Q. What's Grosser that Gross.
A. When a midget tells you your hair smells good.

Q. Do you know why they don't circumcise Arabs?
A. So they will have a place to hide there gum during a sand storm.

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rabbit?
A. A dead rabbit with a two foot asshole!

Q. How do you know when your into kinky sex?
A. When you get "Ken and Barbie in bondage" for your birthday.

Q. Why do nuns always walk in pairs?
A. So one nun can make sure the other nun don't get none!

Q. How to cook toilet paper?
A. Lightly brown one side.

Q. What did the masochistic girl say to her date?
A. "Slap...  or I'll stop you!"

Q. What do you get what you cross a prostitute with an elephant?
A. A 3/4 ton pickup.

Q. Have you heard of the new Proctor & Gamble product?
A. Toxic shock absorbers.

Q. What are three things that women can do that men can not?
 A1: Bleed for a week and not die.
 A2: Produce milk without eating grass.
 A3: Bury a bone without digging a hole.

Q. What's the difference between fish & meat?
A. If you beat your fish it would die.

Q. What is the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?
A. A Genealogist looks up your family tree and a Gynecologist looks up
    your family bush.

Q. What do you get when you give a rooster a cup of coffee?
A. A cock that stays up all night!

Q. What do you get when you cross an elephant with a hooker?
A. A F***ing know-it-all who remembers you forever!

Q. What's red and has seven dents?
A. Snow White's cherry.

Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
A. Being fingered by Captain Hook!

Q. Why did the Italian staple his nuts together?
A. Since he couldn't lick them, he thought he could join them.

Q. Why did God create man?
A. Because vibrators can't mow lawns!

Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster with a telephone pole?
A. A 20 foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone!

Q. How do you screw a fat girl?
A. Slap her thighs and ride the next wave in!

Q. What do you do if you come across an elephant in the jungle?
A. Wipe it off and say you're sorry!

Q. What lubricant do they use at orgies?
A. 3-in-1 oil.

Q. What looks good behind a girls ears?
A. Her ankles.

Q. What do you call oral sex at a national park?
A. Old Facefull!

Q. Why do shepherds wear flowing robes?
A. Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

Q. How does a French woman hold her liquor?
A. By the ears.

Q. What do you call this?  (Puff out your cheeks)
A. A Polish sperm bank.

Q. What do you call this?  (Stick out your tongue)
A. A lesbian with a hard on.



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 [________]_|__|________)<   Cheers,
  oo    oo  'oo OOOO-| oo\_  I C E-man 
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... Cool! I figured out the Sysop's passwor$>@7& NO CARRIER

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