Text 4048, 136 rader
Skriven 2006-04-25 09:41:08 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
Ärende: Some Qs & As
====================
Q. How can you tell if you're overweight?
A. If you step on you're dog's tail and it dies!

Q. Do you know what you get if you take all the oil Exxon produced in
   1989 and lay it out in a strip a mile wide?
A. The current world situation.

Q. What's the difference between a hematologist and a urologist?
A. The hematologist pricks your finger.

Q. What's The Difference Between a Woman With P.M.S.  and A Rabid Dog ?
A. Lipstick...

Q. Did you all here the one about a guy whose wife left him for a
   tractor salesman?
A. She gave him a John Deere letter!

Q. What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do?
A. Stays up all night wondering whether there is a dog.

Q. What has 72 legs and 26 teeth?
A. The first row at a Willy Nelson concert!

Q. What do you call a liberal who's been mugged?
A. A conservative!

Q. How do you know when your girlfriend is too fat?
A. When she sits on your face and you can't hear the stereo.

Q. What do you say to a Puerto Rican in a three-piece suit?
A. Will the defendant please rise!

Q. What does the U.S.  Postal Service and Kinney's Shoes have in common?
A. They both have 50,000 black loafers!

Q. What's the description of frenzy?
A. Blind lesbians in a fish market.

Q. How do you get from California to Texas?
A. Your travel East until you smell it then travel South until you step
   in it!

Q. How do 3 Mexicans cross the Rio Grand?
A. One swims and the other 2 cross on the scum.

Q. How did Helen Keller burn her fingers?
A. Reading the waffle iron.

Q. Why are Helen Keller's fingers purple?
A. She heard it though the grapevine...

Q. What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?
A. She screamed her hands off!

Q. Why are women like dog shit?
A. The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.

Q. How do you get a kleenex to dance?
A. Blow a little boogie into it.

Q. Why can't you trust a women?
A. Anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die you can't trust!

Q. What's grosser than gross?
A. Getting to the bottom of a mayonnaise jar and finding a rubber.

Q. What's the definition of a Cigar?
A. A breath freshener for people who eat shit!

Q. What's the difference between a brown-noser and a shithead?
A. Depth perception!

Q. What is the height of conceit?
A. Screaming your name during an orgasm.

Q. Do you know why the Easter Bunny hides eggs?
A. So people won't know he's F***ing chickens!

Q. Why don't you see sheep running in Africa?
A. Elephants use them as tampons.

Q. Why do elephants have trunks?
A. Sheep come with no strings attached.

Q. What is the most prevalent female elephant disease?
A. Toxic sheep syndrome.

Q. What have you learned from the previous three jokes?
A. Don't buy red sweaters.

Q. How do you get a faggot out of a tree?
A. Pull out your dick and yell "Suppertime!"

Q. Why do gays hate movies about AIDS?
A. They always get it in the end.

Q. How do gays decide which condom to buy?
A. They put one over a candle, then sit on it.

Q. Why is a 25 year old faggot like a 90 year old heterosexual?
A. For each one, sex is behind him.

Q. How do you tell the gay Arabs?
A. They're dancing sheik to sheik.

Q. Why do faggots love a hamburger?
A. Because it's hot meat between two buns.

Q. Why do gays like Thanksgiving?
A. They can go out and look for a gobbler.

Q. Why was the gay sergeant court-martialed?
A. They caught him playing with his privates.

Q. How do you tell if a guy is gay?
A. He has crabs in his eyebrows.

Q. How can you tell if a guy is gay?
A. If you ask him if he wants something to drink he gets down on his
   knees.

Q. What do most gays get for Christmas these days?
A. Buried.

Q. How do you tell a straight person from a gay person?
A. A straight person likes to eat out.  A fag likes to brown bag it.


Cheers,           +--------------##)
All        ,ÄÄÄÄÄ[|ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ°°°°°||]######( I C E-man Humour Injection!
                  +--------------##)

 

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