Text 4056, 121 rader
Skriven 2006-04-27 03:46:06 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
Ärende: A story
===============
   The official list of types of pussy found throughout the land.

1) Expensive pussy: Most pussy falls into this definition.  Expensive
   pussy can be recognized by the following - fur coats, $500 dresses,
   spandex, bright colored shorts, and shirts with greek letters on
   them.  98% of the pussy found on the USC campus falls into this
   category.

   Advantages: If you can afford it, it will be great.
   Disadvantages: Many, mostly in the form of checking account
        depletion.
         Often not worth it.

2) Cheap pussy: Very rare.  Usually comes in the form of a girlfriend of
   yours who will not go away no matter what you do.  Cheap pussy can be
   recognized by the following - she will often pay for dinner,
   understands when you are broke, calls every day, wants it constantly,
   easily hurt, but shakes it off.

   Advantages: Inexpensive, guaranteed, loving, will try anything once
        and sometimes twice.  You're lucky if you find this.
   Disadvantages: Won't go away, possessive, bugs you all the time, can
        keep you from the tasks of finding other pussy, will
        eventually want to get married and/or have children
        soon thus ruining it.
         Often not worth it.

3) Hired pussy: Found in the Hollywood area of Southern Cal and in every
   other large city in the US and abroad.  Recognized by scanty clothes
   and come-hither looks.  Expense varies greatly with the quality.  The
   difference between Hired pussy and Expensive pussy is that the money
   is up-front.

   Advantages: You don't have to stick around, won't tell your
        girlfriend, doesn't care who you are or what you look
        like, often very experienced, usually cheaper than
        Expensive pussy.
   Disadvantages: More expensive than Cheap pussy in the long run, risk
        of disease is high, is illegal in most areas and the
        risk of jail time is high.
         Often not worth it.

4) Virgin pussy: This type is getting rarer each day.  Recognized by
   conservative clothes, good manners, and a marked distaste for dirty
   jokes and porno movies.  Can be very loving if you promise marriage,
   but will cause you more problems as you go along.  Frustration level
   is high as Virgin pussy tends to want to stay that way for some
   unknown reason.

   Advantages: Risk of disease is very low, will offer a very tight
        "fit" if it gives in, sometimes open to new
        experience, will often offer "other" services if
        Virginity is to be maintained.
   Disadvantages: Usually will not give in until marriage, will cause
        discomfort upon use, not very imaginative, not
        usually into using birth control which can cause
        "accidents", can only be used once.
         Usually not worth it unless you're into that sort of
        thing.

5) Nympho pussy: Very rare.  Recognized by the tendency to drag you by
   your balls into bed and going at it to the point of exhaustion.  Very
   experienced, will teach you things you never knew.  Expense varies
   depending on level of Nymphomania.

   Advantages: Will send you into la-la land, will try anything once.
   Disadvantages: You are probably not the only one, thus disease risk
          can be high, will tire you out and ask for more, can
          be unstable, will not give a steady relationship.
         Often not worth it.

6) Frigid pussy: Less rare.  See (4) for recognition.  Difference is
   that this pussy will not yield no matter what.  Any expense involved
   is simply wasted (unless you are into real frustration).

   Advantages: There are no advantages.
   Disadvantages: Too many to list here.  Best to stay away once
        recognized.
         Never worth it.

7) Innocent Nympho pussy: Rare.  Recognized by being in a small, sweet,
   innocent package which you would never in a million years think would
   give in, but when it does, you are in for a hell of a surprise. Often
   mistaken for (4).  Expense varies, but usually falls into the cheaper
   category.

   Advantages: The surprise is blissful.  Always worth it.  Keep it if
        you can.
   Disadvantages: If (4) is mistaken for (7), serious consequences may
        result.  May or may not be faithful.

8) Party pussy: Found at bars and at parties.  Recognized by glass of
   wine in hand and bloodshot eyes.  Will engage in group festivities
   while completely ripped.  Expense usually covers drinks.  Make sure
   you are not ripped as to better enjoy the experience.

   Advantages: Easy to obtain unless you are real unlucky.  Be sure to
        say the right things.
   Disadvantages: Disease risk is high, will not usually remain
        faithful, the Support System may tend to puke all over you.
         Often not worth it.

9) Nutsy pussy: Support System has psychological problems.  Recognized
   by the fact that she will go out with you, then spill her problems on
   you.  May tend to kill you while you sleep.  Gives in for no apparent
   reason.  Usually found as a quiet co-worker.

   Advantages: Easy.
   Disadvantages: Never really worth it.

         ._ _.
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  from    (*)____/Ý
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  E-man (_)(_)  (_)  AWGTHTGTTSA

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 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)