Text 4091, 422 rader
Skriven 2006-05-04 11:30:53 av George Pope (1:153/715.1275)
Kommentar till en text av Nathan Prugh
Ärende: Prymid spam joke
========================
On (22 Mar 06) Nathan Prugh wrote to All...
NP> I got this piece of spam through a rime christian group via usenet...
NP> here
NP> are my comments and joke related to this.
If it's in a public forum, I usually post the following math & proof
article so everyone can see WHY this whole scheme is so useless (never
mind illegal -- and even if it were legal to sell a mailing list, the
fact that the message SAYS plainly that this is just the EXCUSE to make
it legal negates any allowance for calling it such!)
Article & Math by: Patrick Lasu
For all Chainletter- Pyramid- and other Ponzi Schemes.
Take a minute to read this. There seems to be an abundance of money
making schemes going on via Internet. Some of the schemes are probably
older than the promoters. This is an informative letter to tell you the
truth about these get-rich-quick-schemes. Please read on, there will be
Q's and A's after the facts.
"Mail a dollar to 5 people on a list, delete the first name and put
yours on the bottom. Then post it to 200 different Newsgroups." Sounds
like a good deal; however, if everybody gets 5 people to mail $5, it
doesn't take long to run out of fools and Newsgroups (fool = anybody who
invests in this, not you I hope). Here is a breakdown of the numbers,
read from left to right:
Potential
Level: No. of People: Newsgroups: Earnings:
1 5 x200 = 1,000 $ 5
2 25 x200 = 5,000 $ 25
3 125 x200 = 25,000 $ 125
4 625 Sorry, no etc.
5 3,125 more No Need
6 15,625 Newsgroups to
7 78,125 Continue
8 390,625
9 1,953,125
10 9,765,625
11 48,828,125
12 244,140,625
13 1,220,703,125
14 6,103,515,625
15 Sorry, no more people on earth
The numbers speak for themselves. If you were lucky and got in as soon
as it started, you could theoretically make $15,625. Now, that is if
you were lucky.
*** Q's and A's ***
Q: "I know of someone who made money, isn't that proof that it's
working?"
A: Yes, you can make money; however, you have to get in as soon as
possible, what are the chances of that? The other option is to start
your own chain with 5 fictitious names and addresses, or get together
with 4 other people and split the money you receive from the fools.
Q: "How much money can you make from this if you start your own chain?"
A: Quite a bundle. The nature of how its working makes it a great money
maker if you start one. Here is how it works:
As soon as it's posted, hundreds, maybe even thousands (NOT 5) of fools
will start to send in money for the first level, delete the top name and
put their name on the bottom. After a while, the first 5 people will be
out (or yourself with 5 false names), laughing all the way to the bank,
while the fools who are left are trying to catch up. If the next few
fools down the line were lucky, they might get some money from the
spillover effect. Sooner or later (actually fairly quickly), the chain
dies naturally, leaving the majority of the fools with no money.
Q: "Are there any proofs of this?"
A: Plenty, ask anybody who came in last. There are hundreds of
thousands. Another way to prove it is through statistics and the bell
curve. As soon as the chain starts, 97% of the fools that make up the
"belly" of the curve will answer the scheme. You want more proof, then
use logic: Look at the breakdown of the numbers on the top of this
letter.
Q: "How come so many people are into these scams?"
A: Greed. The people who start it up are smart but greedy. Those who
fall for it are greedy fools.
Then, in a humour area, like this I'll post one of my MANY parodies of
these MAKE $$$$ FAST scams, a la these two samples:
Dear Friend: If you're insane, please take a moment and read this...
Follow these directions EXACTLY, and in 20 to 60 days you will receive
over $50,000.00 cash - all yours! This program has remained successful
because of the HONESTY and INTEGRIT/~~~~~~~~~~~~\cipants. Please keep
its success by carefully ad/~~~~~~~ \ns. /~~~~\is NOT an
illegal pyra/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ O-BOY! YESSIREE!! ~~~~ /product is
not sold or/ \a Mailing
List that_/ You've gotten this in your mail, received it \ig bucks
for qual/ by email, and seen it posted all over the Net! /l income
which is\ /including
in that l\ @: THE PONZI PYRAMID OF POWER!! :@ /s exactly:
[1] Immed/ \mail $1.00
to the fi\ The Inter-Con never quits! And five'll get \number 5,
and send a\ you ten that most of these are being posted /your total
investment/ by the SAME DUDE and all the first names you \ng "Please
add my nam\ send your money to are really his drop-boxes /legitimate
service th/ or "production associates"! After 6 years /s service).
[2] Remov/ of chain-scamming, this BB Bunko's gotta \ Move the
other 9 n\ have more bucks than Scrooge McDuck!! \, and then
number 3 w\ \your name
and address\ He's probably the same shark who advertises, /er 10.
[3] Post th/ "Earn tax-free income through Mail Order! /ition into
ten(10) sep\ Send $20 for my Surprise Success Formula!" /o the file
section, ca/ \ONEY.FAST.
[4] Within/ Well, WE can play THAT game OURSELVES!! \0 in CASH!
Keep a cop\ Yes, if you're a loyal lurker of this Group /again when
you need m/ and all of its sundry crosspostings, this is \n you are
automatic/ YOUR OPPORTUNITY to GET RICH NOW, and laugh /ending you
$1.00 to \ in your sleeve all the way to the BANK!! /can then be
rented the\ /ellow Pages
for addit / Simple? You bet! Legal? Who cares! It \ become more
valuable a\ slipped past the SysOp, and now it's YOURS!! \perfectly
legal. If \______________________________________________/ refer to
Title 18, Section 1302 & 1341 of the postal lottery laws, should the
IRS or any other government agency question you. (EtcEtcBlahblah&Blah)
---------------------------------------------------------------->8 cut
Dear Fellow NewsGroup Reader... Are you sitting down?
*> Well I hope you ARE, because THIS WILL KNOCK YOU OFF YOUR FEET! <*
YES!! The *REAL* SECRET to GETTING RICH NOW and MAKING BIG MONEY FAST
is just another tippy-tap away on your computer keyboard's space bar!
But...Do You Dare? ...What if "They" find out? Well, you really don't
know me, so all I can do is ask for your Trust and Confidence, to just:
==( TAP THE SPACE BAR )==
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
!IR$!FBI!CIA!JFK!CEO!NRA!TNT!UFO!ILLUMINATI!GOD!ZOG!KIBO!ATOMIC!GOLD!$!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
' :: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ :: `
!::: _____ k Guaranteed 100% every time! ___ :::!
!::: \_@_/ // Safe when used as directed! __[___]__ :::!
!::: {~._.~}// Never leave home, ever again! {~@=@~} :::!
!::: ( ^ )// Lose 30 pounds in just 10 days! ( ^ ) :::!
!::: ()~:~%R (That's $46 US, $237 Canadian) ()~*~() :::!
!::: (_)-<|) Offer GOOD for life of this posting /(_)-(_)\_ :::!
~
Intrigued? Then follow these instructions EXACTLY: Press the Space Bar
-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*-*&*
-
-+< OH WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! More Instructions!!!!! >+-
Do you constantly lose at Lotto? Throw craps every time? Always choose
the slowest checkout line? Then YOU are PERFECT for this SPECIAL OFFER!
But first -- let me ask these mandatory routine self-help questions:
.......................................................................
Do you want true financial independence and constant tax-free income?
Do you want to be in a totally loving, mutually supportive relationship?
Do you want to achieve states of pleasure previously unimaginable?
Do you want to start sleeping with your SO, instead of your PC?
Do you want to look better, feel better, run faster and jump higher?
Do you want to cleanse all Karma, and tap into infinite creative power?
Do you want to bring universal healing and happiness to all around you?
Do you want the Secret of Secrets - the Answer to Your Greatest Dreams?
Do you want to find a few of those unmarked bags of cash on the street?
Do you want the total effect of 10,000 cups of coffee in one minute?
Do you want to equalize things a little with an Evil Business Partner
Do you want who embezzled over $100,000, then attempted to get a covert
Do you want $1,000,000 insurance policy on your life, stole all of your
Do you want property and your company, traded your lifework to a crooked
Do you want distributor, then declared bankruptcy and moved to a secret
Do you want location where he thought no creditor would ever find him?
Do you want me to stop asking all this and get on to the Good Stuff???
.......................................................................
If you answered YES to one or more of the above..WELCOME TO THE
INTERNET! If you answered YES to the last half, then WE actually have
even more in common! That's right! YOU could have your Own NetGroup!!
(or just take MINE) Get flame-mail from EVERY imaginable CORNER OF
THIS GLOBE! *YES*, YOU could do on your own computer for FREE, what
others do for income!!
__///////\ Why work like a slave for years, when /\\\\\\\__
\\\\\\\/ you can get a cheap laugh in seconds! \///////
"Well sure", you say, "That's fine! IN THEORY." But somehow, all that
SEEMS to be straying from The Point -- The ASTOUNDING, STARTLING ANSWER
that YOU have been WAITING FOR!! -- Which, of course, is just beyond:
[==( HIT SPACE BAR NOW )==]
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Are you EXCITED!?! Are you JUMPING Up/and\Down WITH ANTICIPATION!?!?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>^<*>
______________________
:::::::`:::::::.:`.____| |____,' .':;::::::::::::
::::::::::.::.:.`. \ | OH FRABJUS DAY!! | / ,',.:.::::.::::::::
:::.::::.:::. - -- > |______________________| < -- - ..:.::.:::::.:
:::::::::::.::.:,' /_______)~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(_______\ `.::::.:.:::::.::::
~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~
CONGRATULATIONS! You're a WINNER! And you certainly WANT this BRIDGE
I'm selling! But it's MINE!! Though I'll TELL YOU how to GET YOURS!
It's *Brilliant!* *Powerful!* *Success-Proven!* *Beta-Tested!*
You may just win a GENUINE DIAMOND only a tenth smaller than this "."!
Or a 42" COLOR TV cord! Or a fabulous TWO WEEKS IN NORWAY brochure!!
Make thousands of dollars every hour, with a job at the US Treasury!
You will earn $600,000 every day, just by being a Disney executive!!
Tomorrow - YOU could have LOTS of other C00L and quasi-VALUABLE stuff!
But HOW could I know all this -- unless...I'm PSYCHIC!! So LISTEN UP!!
~~~~~~~
I KNOW what you're thinking! "This must be some kind of sneaky, under-
handed, Hollywood-hyped, flim-flam, rip-off scheme to separate Me from
MY hard-earned SAVINGS!" But you're WRONG! It's NOT sneaky at ALL!!!
It really IS the Perfect GET RICH Formula, which only I have discovered,
and which I am passing its full SECRET *EXECUTIVE* KNOWLEDGE on to YOU!
AHA! Now you're thinking, "WHY would he share his Power-System Secrets
with a complete stranger??" That's a REAL GOOD QUESTION! ...Real good.
Hmmm... NO, it hurts TOO MUCH to think about it, and that's why They're
keeping me in the Soft Cell anyway! ...I think *AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
"Doesn't that mean *I* have to think?" NO! ... It does NOT take a "Math
Genius Rocket Scientist" to figure this out! Because it's THOUGHT-FREE!
The fact that you're reading this should be proof enough! And if you're
at all worried about getting SOMETHING THIS VALUABLE for NOTHING, rest
assured -- IT IS WORTH IT!! ALL you need to do, is simply "GET a CLUE"!
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Finally! You can get RICH beyond your wildest hopes! HARD to beL.ieve?
That's o-KAYe -- I didn't believe it myself! But look where I am now!!
And so are 8850 others, from Zeiler Avenue to Arleta CA, 91331 in all!!
In other words: POWER! EXCITEMENT! SATISFACTION! THRILLS! ECSTACY!
ROMANCE! THERAPY! HAPPINESS! ENTERTAINMENT! COMPANIONSHIP! RESPECT!
ELOQUENCE! EXCELLENCE! PEACE!! I can't say it any plainer!!
This really IS the *Secret* to GETTING RICH now!! Get what others have
gotten! Help Yourself -- just like CFO's in major movie corporations!
"But wait -- if I WIN, doesn't that mean somebody else has to lose?"
Absolutely "NO"! Not if that "somebody else" never ever FINDS OUT!!
This is a *SECRET FORMULA* - just like it said 5 lines back up there!
S-E-C-R-E-T-! Just for US! Keep it that way! Nuff said! Sheesh!
@==( PRESS SPACE BAR ONE LAST TIME! )==@
Wake your neighbors! Phone your foes! You are now the One who Knows!
..Just remember: THIS IS ALL TOP SECRET!!!! (`tis better that way ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*%*
AT LAST! THIS is THE ANSWER! FORGOT the QUESTION? IT DOESN'T MATTER!!
************************************************************************
BIG MONEY! BIG MONEY! BIG MONEY! BIG MONEY! BIG MONEY!! BIG MONEY!!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Get a bigger monitor screen! Then hold a magnifier up to it!! Or get a
video projector, and throw this on the wall! Then wait'll it gets dark
and project it on the building across the street! Or up on the clouds!
Yow!! Or get a real $100 bill, and scan it in sideways!! And no matter
how big you make it, it'll have the same full monetary backing by the
USA government that the actual Reserve Note has!!! But wait - there's
more!
Hit "Copy Block", then "Insert Block x100"...and MAKE MORE MONEY, as
fast as You Can! And with no more effort or skill than a corporate
executive!
........................................................................
______________________________________________________________________
| |
| ==================================================================== |
| |%/^\\%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&{ Federal Reverse Note }%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&//^\%| |
| |/inn\)===============------------------------===============(/inn\| |
| |\|UU/ { UNITED STARES OF AMERICA } \|UU/| |
| |&\-/ ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~=====~~~~~~~~~~~ P8188928246 \-/&| |
| |%//) ~~~_~~~~~ // ___ \\ (\\%| |
| |&(/ 13 /_\ // /_ _\ \\ ~~~~~~~~ 13 \)&| |
| |%\\ // \\ :| |/ ~ \| |: 3.21 /| /\ /\ //%| |
| |&\\\ ((iR$)> }:P ebp || |"- -"| || || |||| |||| ///&| |
| |%\\)) \\_// sge || (|e,e|? || || |||| |||| ((//%| |
| |&))/ \_/ :| `._^_,' |: || |||| |||| \((&| |
| |%//) \\ \\=// // || |||| |||| (\\%| |
| |&// R265402524K \\U/_/ // series || \/ \/ \\&| |
| |%/> 13 _\\___//_ 1932 13 <\%| |
| |&/^\ Treasurer ______{ Frankly }_______ Secretary /^\&| |
| |/inn\ ))--------------------(( /inn\| |
| |)|UU(================/ ONE HUNGERED DOLLARS \================)|UU(| |
| |{===}%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%a%&%&%&%&%&%&%&%&{===}| |
| ==================================================================== |
|______________________________________________________________________|
Turn up the Green! Feel the screen! Ionic Energy at Your Fingertips!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Best of all, BEST OF ALL, you can use this *GRN* Formula on ANYTHING!!
Poker, Roulette, Horses, Dogs, Snakes, Toads, Hollywood :producers --
Yes, ANY picture you can put on this screen can be blown up, real big!
Even that Bridge I mentioned back there! I'm talking Guided Imagery!!
. , . ,
:::;' /) - * - BIG DREAM Payoffs!! Again and AGAIN!! - + - (\ `::::
::' / ) ':` ':` ( \_ `
:' _( (_ _ First, make sure nobody is watching, who _ ) )\ />
: (((\ \) /,) might contest Your Sanity. Then TOUCH / ) / //))/
: (\\\\ \_/ / the Magic "Bob" Face in the center of \ \_/ ///// .
:. \ / the ascii $100 on Your screen and SHOUT: \ / .:
::. \ _/ . . \_ / .::
::::/ / .:.* "TREMENDOUS TREASURES BEYOND COMPARE *:::. \ \.:::
:::/ /.::::::.* WILL ALL BE MINE THIS HAPPY YEAR!" *.:::::::.\ \:::
::/O\ /::::::::::.....................................:::::::::::\ \::
[Hey - couldn't hurt. And if YOU receive OVER $10,000,000.00 in CASH in
the next 60 days - remember to send me just 1% and I won't tell a Soul!]
and the penultimate in educational lose money fast schemology:
RCX>Hi, I'm Dave Rhodes, and I'm in jail.
RCX>Just six months ago, I was in dire financial straits. My car and house
RCX>had been repossessed, my phone was disconnected, my family had left me, I
RCX>had creditors hounding me daily, and I was on the verge of bankruptcy.
RCX>Then, I hit upon one of the most amazing schemes for making quick money
RCX>that I had ever thought of. I would start a pyramid scheme and make it
RCX>sound legal with some details about creating and maintaining mailing lists.
RCX>It wasn't necessary to dream up anything too plausible, just enough to
RCX>fool a significant portion of the population. I made up a reasonable
RCX>sounding flyer and used a friend's computer to post it to one of the
RCX>computer bulletin boards. I took out five post office boxes in different
RCX>cities and made up four other names so that the first five contributions
RCX>all went to me.
RCX>To say the least, the response was overwhelming. I was a millionaire
RCX>overnight. You see, the way these things work, if everyone sends the
RCX>letter to twenty other people, and those twenty each send the letter to
RCX>twenty more, it doesn't take more than a few iterations before the recipien
RCX>list includes everyone on the planet. Only the first ten or fifteen people
RCX>ever see any money, and I was all of the first five!
RCX>The number of greedy people who use computers and don't understand basic ma
RCX>exceeded my expectations by several orders of magnitude. My original note
RCX>posted on many computer bulletin boards, including something called the
RCX>internet, and response was overwhelming. Some of them didn't even have the
RCX>sense to put their own name on the list!
RCX>As the money poured in, I thought my problems were solved for life. As
RCX>it turns out, they were only beginning. I found out that the same geometri
RCX>progression that made me rich had one major drawback. Since literally
RCX>millions of people would see my message, the chances of someone reporting i
RCX>to the police was a virtual certainty. As word got around via the same
RCX>computer bulletin boards that carried my original message, more and more
RCX>people complained to the authorities.
RCX>Soon, I was arrested and charged with fraud. My money was confiscated unde
RCX>the federal racketeering laws, so I could not even afford an attorney. Man
RCX>of the first people to take advantage of my scheme were also arrested.
RCX>Still, my original message continued to propagate throughout computer
RCX>bulletin boards everywhere. A substantial number of copies got sent throug
RCX>regular mail, which caused more and more federal charges to be applied to
RCX>me and those early participants. In my own way, I have become quite
RCX>a celebrity.
RCX>These days, I no longer have creditors bothering me, I don't have to
RCX>worry about housing or basic necessities, I'm entertained, and I have a goo
RCX>friend Bruno who takes care of me. I have everything I really need, and
RCX>although Bruno hurts me sometimes, I'm mostly satisfied with my life.
RCX>During her last visit, my court appointed attorney said that practically ev
RCX>day someone new was arrested for trying to participate in my scheme, even l
RCX>after my own arrest was publicized. In this way, my original opinion, that
RCX>there are enough morons in the world to make yourself fabulously rich, is
RCX>confirmed again and again.
RCX>So, with this in mind, Bruno and I have started a small enterprise here
RCX>in prison that you should know about. It requires only a minor expenditure
RCX>on your part and can make you wealthy beyond your wildest dreams.
RCX>Please follow these instructions exac@#~s8
RCX>-`15ht@#&fge
RCX>LOST CARRIER
Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)
My Preferred Netmail address is: 1:153/715.1275
ICQ UIN: 32617950
(I am the Bishop of ROM!)
--- PPoint 1.76
* Origin: Cyberpope pointing via Bandmaster BBS! (1:153/715.1275)
|