Text 4216, 171 rader
Skriven 2006-05-20 09:07:46 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
Ärende: Q's & A's
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G-day ALL,

Some Q's & A's


Q. Did you hear about the new car being manufactured in San Francisco?
A. It's called the "Hampster", the only problem is that it's difficult
   to get it out of "Gere".

Q. What did Robert Wagner say to Natalie Wood the night she died?
A. "OK honey, you can have a drink, but don't go overboard!"

Q. What do the L.A. Dodgers have in common with Michael Jackson?
A. They wear a glove on one hand for no apparent reason.

Q. What's Billy Jean King's latest advertising sponsor?
A. Strap on Tools of America

Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook

Q. What's old, wrinkled and smells like Ginger?
A. Fred Astair's face

Q. What's green, and smells like pork?
A. Kermit's finger

Q. What do Billy Graham and the Houston Oilers have in common?
A. They both can fill up the Astrodome, and in fifteen minutes,
   they both can have the crowd yelling Jesus Christ!!

Q. What was John Lennon's last hit?
A. The pavement.

Q. What was Gary Hart's biggest mistake???
A. Not having Ted Kennedy drive Donna Rice home!

Q. How did Capt. Hook die?
A. Jock itch!

Q. What is the definition of "Endless Love"?
A. Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis!

Q. What's the difference between Dan Quayle and Jane Fonda?
A. Fonda spent more time in 'Nam.

Q. What did Dan Quayle say when Marilyn Quayle blew in his ear?
A. Thanks for the refill, Honey!

Q. Why did George Bush win the election?
A. Because Barbara's picture is on the $1 bill.

Q. Did you hear that Salmon Rushdie is publishing his next book?
A. Its called "Buddha, you fat Fuck!"

Q. Why did Yoko Ono call the exterminator?
A. She found a dead Beatle on her door-step!

Q. What were the last words of Mr. Ed, the talking horse?
A. "A corpse is a corpse, of horse, of horse."

Q. Why did Maria Schriver marry Arnold Schwartzeneggar?
A. They're trying to breed a bullet-proof Kennedy.

Q. Do you know why Nancy Reagan is always on top?
A. Because Ronnie only knows how to screw up.

Q. You've heard of Alzheimer's Disease but do you know what Waldheimer's
   disease is ?
A. You forget that you used to be a Nazi.

Q. What do Marilyn Quayle and Marion Berry (mayor of Washington, DC)
   have in common?
A. They both like to blow a little dope!

Q. Did you hear what Mickey Mouse got for his 60th birthday?
A. A Dan Quayle watch.

Q. What do Len Bias and Rock Hudson have in common?
A. They both got a hold of some bad crack.

Q. What's yellow, ugly and sleeps alone?
A. Yoko Ono.

Q. What would it take to reunite the Beatles?
A. Three more bullets.

Q. What was John Lennon's last hit?
A. The pavement.

Q. Why can't you take a crap at a Beatles concert?
A. There's no John anymore.

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Prior?
A. One was burned by coke, the other by Pepsi.

Q. What's fuzzy, smokes, and comes in cubes?
A. Fidel Castro.

Q. What's 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1?
A. Bo Derrick getting older.

Q. What's wrinkled and smells like Ginger?
A. Fred Astaire's face.

Q. Did you hear Karen Carpenter's brother's new song?
A. "She Ain't Heavy, She's My Sister."

Q. Why is Billy Jean King so good at tennis?
A. Because she swings both ways.

Q. What's worse than grease on Olivia Newton-John?
A. "Come on Eileen."

Q. Who is Billy Jean King's latest sponsor?
A. "Snap-On Tools of America."

Q. Did you hear that Princess Grace was on the radio?
A. ...And on the dash board, the steering wheel, etc.

Q. What did Princess Grace have that Natalie Wood could have used?
A. A good stroke.

Q. What happened to the Pope when he went to Mount Olive?
A. Popeye almost killed him.

Q. What part of Popeye doesn't rust?
A. The part he dips in Olive Oyl.

Q. What do you have when you have a green ball in each hand?
A. Kermit's undivided attention!

Q. Which is better, Dolly Pardon's bra or Princess Di's douchebag?
A. The latter: A royal flush always beats a pair.

Q. How come Dolly Pardon has such small feet?
A. Things don't grow well in the shade.

Q. How can you spot Dolly Pardon's children in a crowd?
A. They're the ones with the stretch marks on their lips.

Q. How do you know when you're being mooned by Ronald McDonald?
A. He's the one with the sesame seed buns.

Q. What would Grace Kelly be doing if she were alive today?
A. Clawing at the top of her coffin.

Q. What did Abraham Lincoln said the morning after his wildest party?
A. "I freed the what?"

Q. Did you see Roman Polanski's new movie?
A. Close Encounters With The Third Grade.

Q. Where does the Lone Ranger take his garbage?
A. "t'da dump, t'da dump, t'da dump dump dump."

Q. What's big, savage, and goes "shhhhhhhhhhhhh".
A. Conan the Librarian.


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... Cool! I figured out the Sysop's passwor$>@7& NO CARRIER

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