Text 4226, 203 rader
Skriven 2006-05-15 07:22:00 av George Pope (3143.funny)
   Kommentar till text 4098 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
Ärende: Re: As I Mature. . .
============================
GS> Q. Did you know that ALL children are born with Penises?
GS> A. Yeah.....But it falls off the stupid ones!

It doesn't just fall off. . .

Q: Why do doctors spank newborn babies?
A: To knock the penises off the dumb ones.

GS> Q. What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
GS> A. Getting them out of the wheelchair.

Oh, that's easy -- getting them back INTO the chair, however. . .
. . .
Not so much.

GS> Q. What is grosser than gross?
GS> A. When you sit on your Grandfathers lap and he pops a boner.

Q: What's grosser than that?
A: Kissing grandmother goodnight & she slips you the tongue.

Q: Even grosser?
A: Sucking grandma's tit, getting a squirt of something warm and having the
following dialogue:
You: "Damn, granny, ain't you too old to still be giving milk?"
She: "Yeah, sonny, but just the right age for breast cancer!"


Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
|<+]::-) ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)



GS>
GS> Q. Why are a woman's <private parts> and <anal orifice> so close
GS>    together?
GS> A. In case your aim is off...
GS> 
GS> Q. Why aren't bird dogs allowed in the White House?
GS> A. Because they keep chasing the Quayle and pissing on the Bushes!
GS> 
GS> Q. Why has Tammy Fae stopped shaving her legs?
GS> A. Because she figures that's the way Jim will like them when he gets
GS>    out.
GS> 
GS> Q. What's the best thing about having Alzheimer's disease?
GS> A1: You can hide your own easter eggs!
GS> A2: You're always meeting new people!
GS> 
GS> Q. What do you get when you cross a Hell's Angel with a Jehovah's
GS>    Witness?
GS> A. A Guy that knocks on your door Saturday morning and tells you to F***
GS>    Off!
GS> 
GS> Q. Did you know that Hitler commit suicide?
GS> A. He got the gas bill!
GS> 
GS> Q. What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in a
GS>    bubble bath?
GS> A. The woman in church has a soul full of hope and the woman in the
GS>    bubble bath has a hole full of soap.
GS> 
GS> Q. Did you hear about the fag who joined the NFL?
GS> A. Started off a tight end, but ended up a wide receiver!
GS> 
GS> Q. Why do men buy women nighties with fur around the bottom?
GS> A. To keep their neck warm.
GS> 
GS> Q. What is the definition of a Macho Man?
GS> A. A man who shaves his balls with a weedeater.
GS> 
GS> Q. What's the difference between a prostitute, a mistress, and a wife?
GS> A1: A prostitute says, "Are you done, yet?"
GS> A2: A mistress says, "Are you done, already?"
GS> A3: A wife says, "I think the ceiling needs to be painted."
GS> 
GS> Q. What's the difference between your sister and a Cadillac?
GS> A. Not everyone has been in a Cadillac.
GS> 
GS> Q. What is the first warning sign of AIDS?
GS> A. A pounding sensation in your ass.
GS> 
GS> Q. What is the height of frustration for a man?
GS> A. To walk into a brick wall with a hardon...  and bruise his nose.
GS> 
GS> Q. What do you have when you have two fuzzy green balls in your hand?
GS> A. Kermit The Frog's Undivided Attention.
GS> 
GS> Q. What's in Miss Piggy's douche?
GS> A. Hogwash!
GS> 
GS> Q. What did the 7 dwarfs say when the prince awoke Snow White from her
GS>    deep sleep?
GS> A. "Guess its back to jerking off..."
GS> 
GS> Q. Why does pussy smell like fish?
GS> A. The same reason that cum looks like tartar sauce.
GS> 
GS> Q. Why do dogs lick their balls?
GS> A. Because they can.
GS> 
GS> Q. What's the difference between a fag and a refrigerator?
GS> A. The refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
GS> 
GS> Q. What is a 6.9?
GS> A. A 69er interrupted by a period!
GS> 
GS> Q. What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection ?
GS> A. A quarter-pounder with cheese.
GS> 
GS> Q. What is the real definition of Miracle Whip?
GS> A. Successful masturbation by a 90-year-old man.
GS> 
GS> Q. What do Marion Barry and Mrs.  Dan Quayle have in common?
GS> A. They both blow a little dope!
GS> 
GS> Q. Why is sex like oxygen?
GS> A. Because you don't care about either of them until you don't get any!
GS> 
GS> Q. What do you call oral sex between two yuppies?
GS> A. SixtySomething
GS> 
GS> Q. How do you tell when a woman is horny?
GS> A. When you put your hand down her pants and it feels like a horse
GS>    eating oats.
GS> 
GS> Q. Why do women like whales?
GS> A. They have an 8 foot tongue and can breathe through the top of their
GS>    heads!
GS> 
GS> Q. Why do lawyers wear neckties?
GS> A. To keep the foreskin from coming up over their heads.
GS> 
GS> 
GS> > OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant
GS> 
GS> Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
GS> How does your garden grow?
GS> With tinkerbells and cockleshells
GS> And a lot of horse manure.
GS> 
GS> 
GS> > OBJoke: for mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
GS> 
GS> "It Hurts"
GS> 
GS> You probably can't imagine
GS> It's as simple as can be
GS> This place is rather private
GS> The players he and she.
GS> 
GS> She whispered "will it hurt?"
GS> "Of course not", he replied
GS> "It's a simple project,
GS> lay back and close your eyes."
GS> 
GS> She said "I'm rather frightened,
GS> I've never done this before."
GS> He wanted to continue
GS> It wouldn't hurt much more
GS> 
GS> "It's becoming rather painful,
GS> As tears rolled down her eyes,
GS> "It's hurting something awful,
GS> It must be quite a size!"
GS> 
GS> "Calm yourself, my darling,
GS> As the feeling holds in your spine,
GS> Open up more slightly,
GS> So I can get more inside."
GS> 
GS> Suddenly with a jump
GS> She gave a little shout
GS> Now that it was over
GS> He slowly pulled it out.
GS> 
GS> If you read this carefully
GS> A dentist chair you'll find
GS> It's not what you were thinking
GS> it's just your dirty mind!
GS> 
GS> 
GS>          ._ _.
GS>  Cheers /(. .)\    )
GS>   from    (*)____/Ý
GS>   I       /       Ý
GS>   C      /   Ý--\ Ý
GS>   E-man (_)(_)  (_)  AWGTHTGTTSA
GS> 
GS> ... ÜßÜßÜÜßÜßÜÜßÜßÜ ‹ DRi¥K tì màkˆ éÂhÉ© pˆ•plä ¡Nt‰R‰StiïG. ßÜßÜßßÜßÜßßÜß
GS> 
GS> --- EzyBlueWave V2.01b006 00F90257
GS>  * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)
GS>                                                            

... nfx v3.1                                                                 
--- SBBSecho 2.11-Win32
 * Origin: Time Warp of the Future BBS - Home of League 10 (1:14/400)