Text 4283, 74 rader
Skriven 2006-05-25 10:19:00 av Nathan Prugh
Ärende: Computer Sex joke
=========================
X-RATED by Anonymous Office Waste

Micro was a real-time operator and a dedicated multi-user. His broad-band
protocol made it easy for him to interface with numerous input/output
devices, even if it meant time-sharing. One evening he arrived home just as
the sun was crashing, and had parked his Motorola 68030 in the main drive (he
had missed the 6502 bus that morning), when he noticed an elegant piece of
liveware admiring the daisy wheels in his garden. He thought to himself, she
looks user-friendly, I'll see if she'd like an update tonight.

Mini was her name, and she was delightfully engineered with eyes like Cobol,
and a Prime mainframe architecture that set Micro's peripherals networking all
over the place. He broused over to her casually, admiring the power of her
twin 32 bit floating point processors and inquired, "How are you, Honeywell?"

"Yes, I am well," she responded, batting her optical fibers engagingly, and
smoothing her console over her curvilinear functions. Micro settled for a
straight line approximation. "I'm stand-alone tonight," he said. "How about
computing a vector to my base address? I'll output a byte to eat, and maybe we
could get offset later on."

Mini ran a priority process for 2.6 milliseconds, then transmitted "OK, I've
been dumped myself recently. A new page is just what I need to refresh my
disks. I'll park my machine cycle in your background and meet you inside." She
walked away, leaving Micro admiring her solenoids, and thinking "Wow, what a
global variable. I wonder if she'll like my firmware."

They sat down at the process table to a top-of-form feed of fiche and chips
and a bucket of Baudet. Mini was in conversational mode and expanded on
ambiguous arguments while Micro gave occasional acknowledgements. Although, in
reality, he was analyzing the shortest and least critical path to her entry
point. He finally settled on the old "Would you like to see my benchmark
subroutine?" but Mini was again one step ahead. Suddenly, she was up and
stripping off her parity bits to reveal the full
functionality of her operating system software. "Let's get BASIC, you Ram,"
she said. Micro's hard drive was loaded by this stage, but his interface unit
had a processor of its own and was in danger of overflowing its output buffer,
a hang-up that Micro had consulted his analyst about. "Core," was all he could
say. Micro soon recovered, however, when she went down on the DEC and opened
her device file to reveal her data set ready, he accessed his fully packed
root, and was just about to start pushing into her CPU stack, when she
attempted an escape sequence.

"No! No!" she piped. "You're not shielded."

"Reset, baby" he replied. "I've been debugged."

"But I haven't got my current loop enabled, and I can't support child
processes," she protested.

"Don't run away, I'll generate an interrupt."

"No, too error prone, and I can't abort because of my design philosophy."

Micro was locked in by this stage though, and could not be turned off. But she
soon stopped his thrashing by introducing a voltage spike into his main
supply, whereupon he dumped his buffer, fell over with a head crash, and went
to sleep.

"Computers," she thought as she compiled herself, "All they ever think about
is HEX!"


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