Text 4311, 84 rader
Skriven 2006-05-27 08:29:46 av Greg Sears (3:633/104)
     Kommentar till en text av Nathan Prugh
Ärende: Re: Bush I Joke
=======================
       Nathan Prugh was entering F unny stuff to  All  

 NP>    These quotes are all from our fearless leader, who puked in Tokyo,

    Murphy's Famous Law - If anything can go wrong, it will - is said to
have entered history in 1949 at Edwards Air Force Base, when a
malfunctioning strap transducer moved a Capt. Murphy to his highest
eloquence. Other truths attributed to Murphy are:  Nothing is ever as
simple as it seems.  Everything takes longer than you expect, and, left
to themselves, things always go from bad to worse.
    Since Murphy's extraordinary leap into immortality, many imitators
have sought in similar manner to plumb the human condition.  Perhaps the
most successful was British historian C. Northcote Parkinson, who found
that work expands to fill the time allotted to it.  Next in notoriety is
the (Lawerence) Peter Principle, that in every hierarchy each employee
tends to rise to his level of incompetence.
    Lesser known, but just as penetrating, are all the slippery laws of
money.  Those and other pearls have been collected by Paul Dickson,
whose book, "The Official Rules," will be published Nov. 27 by Delacorte
Press.
    For example, there's Parkinson's Second Law, which states that
expenditures rise to meet income.  Further refined by Dunn's Discovery -
that the shortest measurable interval of time is the time between the
moment you put a little extra aside for a sudden emergency and the
arrival of that emergency.
    This state of affairs is summed up in Gumperson's Law:  that after a
rise in salary you will have less money at the end of each month than
you had before.
     With regard to products, Graditor's Laws:  (1) If it can break it
will, but only after the warranty expires, and (2) A necessary item only
goes on sale after you have purchased it at the regular price.  To
which, add Dyer's Discovery:  it's easy to tell when you've got a
bargain - it doesn't fit.  And Herblock's Law:  It it's good, they'll
stop making it.
    Car owners are well acquainted with Hartman Automotive Laws:
    (1) Nothing minor ever happens to a car on the weekend.
    (2) Nothing minor ever happens to a car on a trip.
    (3) Nothing minor ever happens to a car.
    Which brings me to Goldwyn's Law of Contracts:  A verbal contract
isn't worth the paper it's written on.
    Law-giving actually precedes Murphy by a good many centuries.
Samuel Butler  knew that all progress is based on the innate desire for
every organism live beyond its income.  Josh Billings similarly
admonished:  Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do
it.
    Another great name in the field is Finagle.  His unique
contributions came in the area of science, but Finagle's Laws on
Information apply equally to understanding financial transactions:  (1)
The information you have is not what you want.  (2) The information you
want is not what you need.  (3) The information you need is not what you
can obtain.  (4) The information you can obtain costs more than you want
to pay.
    The difference between rich and poor is sharply caught by Getty's
Reminder, that the meek shall inherit the earth but not its mineral
rights. Followed by the Golden Rule of Arts and Sciences:  Whoever has
the gold makes the rules.
    Donohue's Law says that what's worth doing is worth doing for money.
And Goldfarber's Law, that under any system a few sharpies will beat the
rest of us.
    On pocketbook matters, everyone has to keep his eyes open.  It's
Gross's Law that when two people meet to decide how to spend a third
person's money, fraud will result.  As in O'Doyle's Corollary:  No
matter how many reporters share a cab, and no matter who pays, each puts
the full fare on his own expense account.
    Woody Allen said that the lion shall lay down with the lamb, but the
lamb won't get much sleep.  To which add Clopton's Law:  For every
credibility gap there's a gullibility fill.
    The Checkbook Balancer's Law holds that in matters of dispute, the
bank's balance is always smaller than yours.  But if you think the
problem is bad now, Epstein adds, just wait until we've solved it.
    Finally, Quinn's Law:  The reader interest generated by any
newspaper column is inversely proportional to the importance of its
subject.



... >             ooo
... >            c| |
... >   __m_00_m__|_|__  Cheers, I C E-man

... >                     --spying with free beer at the wall for ALL.

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