Text 448, 66 rader
Skriven 2004-10-20 03:46:50 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av DAVE COBLE
Ärende: Re: bloomies
====================
 Echo: Funny
 Date: 19-Oct-2004 13:37
 Subj: bloomies
 DAVE COBLE wrote IN a Message to GREG SEARS 

 DC> Everything a drag queen wants to get on my birthday.

 G-day  DAVE COBLE, the I C E-man didn't know Mate!! '-)

Mind The Gap

Below are genuine announcements made by tube drivers on the London
Underground.


"To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second
carriage, what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?"

At Camden town station (on a crowded Saturday afternoon): "Please let the
passengers off the train first. Please let the passengers off the train
first. Please let the passengers off the train first.  Let the passengers
off the train FIRST! Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines,
see if I care, I'm going home."

"Ladies & Gentleman, upon departing the train may I remind you to take
your rubbish with you. Despite the fact that you are in something that is
metal, fairly round, filthy and smells, this is a tube train for public
transport and not a bin on wheels"

"Ladies and Gentlemen do you want the good news first or the bad news?
The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and
had a great time. I felt sadly let down by the fact that none of you sent
me a card! I drive you to work and home each day and not even a card. The
bad news is that there is a point's failure somewhere between Stratford
and East Ham, which means that we probably won't reach our destination.
We may have to stop and return. I won't reverse back up the line - simply
get out walk up the platform and go back to where we started. In the mean
time if you get bored you can simply talk to the man in front or beside
you or opposite you. Let me start you off: "Hi, my name's Gary how do you
do?"

"Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from
elbow and backside syndrome, not knowing his elbow from his backside.
I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any".

"Please mind the closing doors..." The doors close...The doors reopen.
"Passengers are reminded that the big red slidey things on the side of
the train are called the doors. Let's try it again. Please stand clear of
the doors."The doors close... "Thank you."

"I am sorry about the delay, apparently some nutter has just wandered
into the tunnel at Euston. We don't know when we'll be moving again, but
these people tend to come out pretty quickly...usually in bits."



         ,-.___,-.
 Cheers  \_/_ _\_/
  from     )O_O(
   the    { (_) }
 I C E-man `-^-' DILLIGAFF

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