Text 4541, 156 rader
Skriven 2006-06-30 22:20:04 av George Pope (1:153/715.1275)
Ärende: Happy Canada Day!
=========================
Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the
2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people the world over are
asking!!!!

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted
on an International Tourism Website
Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really
asked!!!!!.


Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how
do the plants grow?(England)

A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit
around and watch them die.


Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.



Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I
follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)

A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of
water.



Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada?
(Sweden)

A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.



Q: It is imperative that I find the names and
addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)

A: Let's not touch this one.



Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can
you send me a   list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and
Halifax? (England)

A: What did your last slave die of?



Q: Can you give me some information about hippo
racing in Canada? (USA )

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent
south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget
it. Sure, the hippo   racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come
naked.



Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us
when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.



Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)

A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.



Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
(USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,  which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races.  Come
naked.



Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

A: No, WE don't stink.



Q: I have developed a new product that is the
fountain of youth.  Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.



Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia
where the female population is smaller than the male population?
(Italy)

A: Yes, gay nightclubs.



Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

A: Only at Thanksgiving.



Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk
available all year round?(Germany)

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan
hunter/gathers.  Milk is illegal.



Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada,
but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)

A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off
by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.



 Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?
 (USA)

 A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.



Please send this on to any Canadian (or other) who
you think will enjoy it as much as I have.




Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)
My Preferred Netmail address is: 1:153/715.1275
ICQ UIN: 32617950

(I am the Bishop of ROM!)


--- PPoint 1.76
 * Origin: Cyberpope pointing via Bandmaster BBS! (1:153/715.1275)