Text 4568, 164 rader
Skriven 2006-07-08 20:30:27 av George Pope (1:153/715.1275)
     Kommentar till en text av Greg Sears
Ärende: BOOK
============
On (07 Jul 06) Greg Sears wrote to All...
 GS> Men - Multiple Choice
 GS>
 GS> Note: All "real men" answer "C" to all of these questions. Knowing
 GS> this, women will have come far in understanding men and enriching
 GS> their own lives.
 GS>
 GS>
 GS> 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and
 GS> you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic
 GS> friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated
 GS> device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite
 GS> supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently
 GS> eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You
 GS> decide:
 GS>
 GS> A. Present it to the President of the United States.
 GS> B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
 GS> C. Take it apart.

D. Rewire it into a sex toy for Mrs. Cyberpope

 GS> 2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you
 GS> miss the most?
 GS>
 GS> A. Innocence.
 GS> B. Idealism.
 GS> C. Cherry bombs.

D. fucking the babysitter.


 GS> 3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
 GS>
 GS> A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection
 GS> without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
 GS> B. When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)
 GS> C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is
 GS> the only reallysportsman-like way to let him know that, for
 GS> business reasons, you have to have him killed.

D. Absolutely never.  Even if it's just a slightly butch-looking female,
ensure there is a pussy before you get funky with her!

 GS> 4. What about hugging another male?
 GS>
 GS> A. If he's your father and at least one of you has a fatal disease.
 GS> B. If you're performing the Heimlich maneuver.
 GS> C. If you're a professional baseball player and a teammate its a home
 GS> run to win the World Series, you may hug him provided that:
 GS> (1) He is legally within the base path,
 GS> (2) Both of you are wearing sufficient protection, and
 GS> (3) You also pound him fraternally with your fist hard enough to cause
 GS> fractures.

D. See #3 and/or when you know he shagged your chick, and you want to
get close enough for your cheap piece of shit pistol to still do the
damage!

 GS> 6. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
 GS>
 GS> A. A cat.
 GS> B. A dog.
 GS> C. A dog that eats cats.

D. A naked harem.

 GS> 7. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's
 GS> attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her.
 GS> One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy.
 GS> You're watching a football game; she's reading the papers. Suddenly,
 GS> out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves
 GS> you, but she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where
 GS> your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you
 GS> want to get married; only whether you believe that you have some
 GS> kind of future together. What do you say?
 GS>
 GS>
 GS> A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a
 GS> future, but you don't want to rush it.
 GS> B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you
 GS> cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to
 GS> make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by
 GS> holding out false hope.
 GS> C. That you cannot believe the Jets called a draw play on
 GS> third and seventeen.

D. Remind her that she's just one drop in the ocean. . . "and, btw, on
an unrelated subject, what's your sister's number again?"

 GS> 8. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you
 GS> want to spend the rest of your life with her - sharing the joys and
 GS> the sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell
 GS> her?
 GS>
 GS> A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
 GS> B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say
 GS> her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze
 GS> blowing her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
 GS> C. Tell her what?

D. She'll figure it out, when she realizes she gets priority call on
your cock & tongue!

 GS> 9. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you
 GS> to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to
 GS> her is:
 GS>
 GS> A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
 GS> B. "They're in school already?"
 GS> C. "There are three of them?"

D. That's why I have 12 of you here, have a nice day, I got a date!

 GS> 10 When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?
 GS>
 GS> A. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed
 GS> new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were
 GS> originally intended for your legs.
 GS> B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear
 GS> molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.
 GS> C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real
 GS> guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody (and we are
 GS> not naming names, but this would be his wife) is quietly trying to
 GS> discard his underwear, which she is frankly jealous of, because
 GS> the guy seems to have a more intimate relationship with it than
 GS> with her.

D. Underwear? Who the hell wears underwear?  Kind of hard to shag on the
spot when you're all wrapped up in slave apparel!

 GS> 11 What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the
 GS> fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years
 GS> before they finally got to the Promised Land?
 GS>
 GS> A. He was being tested.
 GS> B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land
 GS> when they finally got there.
 GS> C. He refused to ask for directions.

All those women looking up to him & listening to his every command.

 GS> 12 What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
 GS>
 GS> A. Democracy.
 GS> B. Religion.
 GS> C. Remote control.

D. Sex without obligation.


Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)
My Preferred Netmail address is: 1:153/715.1275
ICQ UIN: 32617950

(I am the Bishop of ROM!)


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