Text 459, 92 rader
Skriven 2004-10-21 03:43:58 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av DAVE COBLE
Ärende: Re: Fitness and Diets
=============================
 Echo: Funny
 Date: 19-Oct-2004 13:42
 Subj: Fitness and Diets
 DAVE COBLE wrote IN a Message to GREG SEARS 

 DC> After a slight pause, she smiled and said, "Well, my sister is
   > pregnant now."

 G-day  DAVE COBLE, that reminds of another.. .. ..

OBITUARY For Mr. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, by the name of Common
Sense.

Common Sense lived a long life but died in the United States from heart
failure on the beginning of the new millennium.

No one really knows how old he was, since his birth records were long ago
lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools, hospitals, homes,
factories, helping folks get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous lawsuits held no
power over Common Sense.

He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to know when to
come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, and that life
isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the adults are in charge,
not the kids), and it's okay to come in second.

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great Depression, and the
Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived cultural and educational
trends including body piercing, whole language, and "new math."

But his health declined when he became infected with the
"If-it-only-helps-one-person- it's-worth-it" virus.

In recent decades his waning strength proved no match for the ravages of
well intentioned, but overbearing regulations.

He watched in pain as good people became ruled by self-seeking lawyers.

His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly implemented
zero-tolerance policies.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing
a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch,
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his
condition.

It declined even further when schools had to get parental consent to
administer aspirin to a student but could not inform the parents when a
female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten Commandments
became contraband, Churches became businesses, criminals, received better
treatment than their victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in
everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.

Finally, when a woman, failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee
was hot, was awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense threw in the towel.

As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of logic, but was kept
informed of developments regarding questionable regulations, such as
those for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and stepladders.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by two stepbrothers:
My Rights, and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

-Author Unknown




         ,-.___,-.
 Cheers  \_/_ _\_/
  from     )O_O(
   the    { (_) }
 I C E-man `-^-' DILLIGAFF

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