Text 4613, 119 rader
Skriven 2006-08-13 18:16:09 av George Pope (1:153/715.1275)
     Kommentar till en text av Nathan Prugh
Ärende: baby joke
=================
On (12 Aug 06) Nathan Prugh wrote to All...
 NP> Whats purple and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a plastic bag.

 NP> What's more fun than spinning a baby on a clothes hoist at 100mph?
 NP> Stopping
 NP> it with a cricket bat.

What is a clothes hoist?

 NP> What's the difference between a truckload of babies and a truckload of
 NP>
 NP> marbles?
 NP> You can't load marbles with a pitchfork.

Or:
Q: Which is easier to unload, a pickup truck full of bowling balls, or
one full of dead babies?
A: dead babies,cuz you can use a pitchfork

Q: How do you find the ONE live baby in the midst?
A: (mime using a pitchfork,
one...throw...two...throw...three...shaking/wiggling arms...throw

 NP> What's green and spins around at 100mph? A frog in a blender.

Q: What's it called?
A: Frog Nog

Q: What happens if you drink it?
A: You'll croak.

You had every one twice. . . how come?

And the obligatory commercial break:

Trouble with tetchy infants on long flights?
Is junior drowning out the roar of the jet engines?
Are other passengers passing you "Shut him up or he learns to skydive"
notes?

If so, Assurdo Childcare have the answer for you!

BABY BAG (tm)

Baby Bag (tm) is a large, soft sack moulded from real polyethylene! Its
twin thicknesses of Assurdo's patent Insulofoam (tm) ensure that while
the noise level inside the bag may exceed 140dB, *no* sound is audible
outside the bag. So if junior insists on screaming his little heart out,
just pop him in your Baby Bag (tm), close the handy Seel-Tite (tm)
fastener and enjoy the rest of your flight in silence.

Baby Bag (tm) is ergonomically designed and available in a variety of
colors to match most luggage. The tough real polyethylene exterior
means that Baby Bag (tm) can safely be stored in unpressurised cargo
holds, should your flight be overbooked. Baby Bag (tm) has also been
carefully sized so that it will comfortably fit in overhead luggage
lockers and/or underseat luggage storage space. Baby Bag (tm) even comes
complete with a moulded handle and clip-on wheels, allowing you to keep
your child with you in busy airports while keeping your hands free.

Baby Bag (tm) comes with a number of optional extras.

Dual Baby Bag (tm) comes with *two* compartments, rendering the care of
twins just as easy as if you had only one child. The two compartments
are separated by a layer of Insulofoam (tm) allowing one child to sleep
while the other screams.

Baby Bag Deluxe (tm) adds a whole host of extra features, including a
clear Perspulex (tm) view panel to allow baby to look out/you to look
in, and a realistic leather effect coating made from real polyethylene.

New Improved Baby Bag Deluxe (tm) has all the features of Baby Bag
Deluxe (tm) but makes those long flights even more comfortable for
junior, through the addition of our revolutionary Airholes (tm).

Also Available...

KIDDIE BAG (tm)

Kiddie Bag (tm) extends the Baby Bag (tm) Total Care Concept (tm) to
encompass older children up to age five. In addition to being larger,
Kiddie Bag (tm) comes complete with a full set of internal restraining
straps, an opening for the easy administering of sedatives and a small
hand pump fitment allows the pressure in the outer layer to be
increased, making the Kiddie Bag (tm) rigid and thus allowing even the
most hyperactive little darlings to remain seated throughout the flight.
Catheter fitments ensure that even if your child should need to answer
the call of nature, there's no need to undo all those handy straps or
depressurise the bag. Combined with Baby Bag (tm), Kiddie Bag (tm) is
the ideal way to make your family holidays more bearable.

YIPPY DOG BALL (tm)

Now Spot can have fun and yip away to its heart's delight without
disturbing anyone! Just seal him inside the Yippy Dog Ball (tm), secure
the seals and pump it up. Once Yippy Dog Ball (tm) has been properly
inflated, your pet can run around and play while making as much noise as
she likes and, due to the patent Insulofoam (tm) layer, you won't hear a
thing. We regret that, due to difficulties in the manufacturing process,
Yippy Dog Ball (tm) does not come with the view panel option, but we're
sure Spot won't mind the occasional bump.

Assurdo Softechnologies/Childcare Inc - where your problems help our
profit.



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