Text 4633, 201 rader
Skriven 2006-09-01 20:34:00 av Greg Sears
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Wow
===============
     *  GEORGE POPE was entering F unny stuff to  GREG SEARS  *

 GP> On (30 Aug 06) Greg Sears wrote to George Pope...
 GS>  GS> Minnie was delighted and they left the counselor's
   >    > chambers. On the way downstairs she nudged Max, "Tell
   >    > me Max, how many times a week is semi-annually?"
   >
   >  GP> He said, "Well, that'd be once annually, on Mondays, and
   >    > once cuntally, on Thursdays, and you can just blow me the
   >    > other 5 days!
   >
   > Minnie turned to Max with open lips.....blowing on Max! [;-)))

 GP> And the judge exonerrated Max with a judgement of "justifiable
   > homicide"!

   What judge was that then, they were in the corridor? [;-?]


 GP>                    ALTERNATE PLANS TO REDUCE HOMICIDE

  A good plan would be ~ the 10 commandments! ~

 > OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

             G A Y   T V


With the rise of satellite TV channels, we can reveal information about
a new channel, aimed at gays.  Here is a preview of what they will have
on offer;


THE GAY TEAM. Hannibal simpers around in a new dress, while Faceman
changes his name to "Headman" and shows us why!

FILM: THE MACINTOSH MAN. Dull movie about a flasher who works for the
CIA.

FILM: THE BEAUTIFUL BLOND FROM BASHFUL BEND. Starring Jason Donovan, he
sues the ass off anyone who calls him a puff.

T.J. HOOKER. Drama about a male prostitute who is also a cop.

EASTBENDERS. A tale of everyday gay folk.

PINK PETER. Magazine program aimed at young gays, Leslie shows you how
to wear mum's high heels without falling over.

FILM: 3 MEN AND A BABY. Pedophiles in action!

SMALL OBJECTS OF DESIRE. Penis enlargement.

JUST GOOD FRIENDS. Well that's our excuse.

THE GOLDEN BOYS. Camp middle aged men who can't act.

FILM: THE NAKED RUNNER. Sequel to "The Macintosh Man", our hero fails in
exposing himself from a flasher mac, so takes up streaking.

MY TWO DADS. Micheal shags Joeys ringpiece.

THE YOUNG RIDERS. Studs on horseback who can't leave each-other alone.

BOTTOM. Sitcom about two sad comedians who try to attract viewers with a
blatant title.

A STAB IN THE DARK. Documentary about "cottaging".

FILM: KIDNAPPED. A movie about bondage.

FATHER DOWLING INVESTIGATES. Bottoms.

ELEPHANT BOY. Program about a child with an enormous penis.

THE NIGHT STALKER. A gay rapist on the streets of New York.

FILM: ZORRO- THE GAY BLADE. Remake, about a gay black stud who working
his way through 16th century France.

LOST IN SPACE. A plastic surgery operation fails and Smith's ringpiece
collapses.

CHOPPER SQUAD. Their gay and in a gang.

KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY. Gay incest.

FILM: RINGO AND HIS GOLDEN PISTOL. The ultimate in plastic surgery,
Ringo has a golden penis fitted.

PRISONER- CELL BLOCK H. H for Homosexual!

HOMO AND AWAY. Australian soap.

BUMMERDALE FARM. Amos scores at last.

RIDERS OF THE DAWN. At it all night.

WANKETY WANK. Camp gameshow starring Terry Wogan

SHAFT. A gay US cop chases the CIA guy from "The Macintosh Man, and
catches him.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE LIKELY LADS.  Terry gives Bob AIDS

TOP OF THE PUFFS. Jason Donovan still at number 1.

SCOOBY DOO. Scooby finds out why his owner is called Shaggy!

LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR. Prison drama.

JASON AND HIS AMAZING TECHNICOLOUR DUREX. Starring Jason Donovan as a
camp popstar, documentary.

RING OF SCORPIO. Starring Jason Donnovan as Scorpio.  His ring gives out
after an amazing 5 episodes.

WAGNERS RING. Follow up to "Ring of Scorpio", can Robert Wagner take
more than Jason?

THE BENDERSON KIDS. Australian children's soap, starring Jason Donovan.


 > OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

       YOUR SWAPPING HOROSCOPE


As I am a famous and successful astrologer, I thought I'd check out the
stars on behalf of the scene to see what's in store for all you traders
this year.  Here are the results - remember, the stars NEVER lie (but
the astrologers sometimes do).

PISCES: Its been a good year for you so far, but you'll have to be
careful as your tendency to delay sending out the parcels may lead to
your better contacts dropping you.  Beware of swapping with anyone from
BIRMINGHAM as it's just pure bad luck.

ARIES: Your tight-arsed nature means that you could well still be faking
stamps - I suggest you stop NOW!  Aries swappers on the whole tend to
have rather old warez but for you the scene is more a hobby than a way
of life, so it won't bother you too much.

TAURUS: Wow, so far so good!  Your swapping status is pretty damn good -
all the latest warez, fast and cool trading.  But you must remember not
to be arrogant or bigheaded about it.  Your natural inclination is to
buy a fast modem but watch that Taurean impatience or you could end up
with a pig in a poke!  Oh, and beware of joining the wrong group!

GEMINI: Your creativity means that you spend some of your computer time
doing things other than XCOPYing.  But your contax don't mind, because
they're (quite) satisfied with your sends...

CANCER: If your name happens to be CRAIG, then this month will see you
being dead handsome and great.  Much the same as any other month really.
Oh, and you aren't called Craig, then the month ahead will be very run
of the mill.

LEO: If you are bullshitting about your status - STOP!  You're an
arrogant bastard who likes nothing better than to brag off to everyone
about how cool he is.  Concentrate on improving your image and watch out
for swappers whose names begin with the letter A.  That's bad luck if
ever I saw it.

VIRGO: Having problems with your post service recently?  A quick phone
call could sort them out.  Phoning your contacts is not a good idea at
the moment, as is writing in shitty inkpen on your address labels.

LIBRA. If you have a modem - now's the time to slow down and concentrate
on post swapping.  It's where your REAL m8s are right now, if only you
realised it.  Chill out man!  And beware of a faulty roll of sellotape
that could cause you some hassle!

SCORPIO: Don't quit the scene if you get depressed.  It's just Mercury
coming into the influence of Uranus!  Ha!  And whatever you do, don't
send the following as pressies to your contacts:  PORNOGRAPHIC BOOKS,
VIDEOS, SEX TOYS [unless your contact is TORCH!], etc.  You might find
that the joke backfires on you in a big way...

SAGGITARIUS: Hi, you boring old disk thief.  GIVE THOSE LAMERS A CHANCE!

CAPRICORN: You'll have bad luck in the scene unless you send 20 to
H0BBiT, immediately.


So there you have it.  And if you'll believe that load of bollocks
you're probably one of those sad, gullible twats that phone up 0898
numbers to find out their future at 48p a minute, so there's no hope for
you really, is there?


Cheers from,
  ICE-man      /\ Christchurch+          \ | /  Mountains, Sunshine
 Canterbury   /  \/\          |  /\     -- 0 --  Forestry, Farming
New  Zealand~/      \!!ii,,,,_*_/==\--~~~~~~~~~ First to USE 2004!!

... +++++++++++++++ i DRiNK t8 make 8+hEr peoplE iNteReStiUG. ++++++++++++++
-=- MultiMail/Win32 v0.47

--- SLMAIL v5.1  (#SLO409KEDG15G098)
 * Origin: The Trashcan - The BEST rubbish * bbs.thenet.gen.nz  (3:772/210)