Text 464, 109 rader
Skriven 2004-10-20 10:11:00 av George Pope
     Kommentar till en text av DAVE COBLE
Ärende: Banned words
====================
DC> "Metrosexual" .. describes an urban male who pays too much attention to his
DC> appearance. Frankly, there are already  enough words to describe this sort
DC> of thing.

Yeah, like:

-fruit
-fairy
-pansy
-fancy pants
-drag queen
-yuppy prick
-yuppy asshole
-preppy prick
-preppy asshole
-roadkill (depends on neighbourhood)
-the victim (ditto)
-bully bait

DC> "Companion Animals" ... Helloooo! They're called *pets.*

How about "Companion Lovers"? (instead of that old, nasty word, "whores"!)

DC> "Bling or Bling-Bling" ... this once slang street term for items of luxury
DC> has become so overused your mother might  even use it, and nothing could
DC> kill the mystique of a word  faster. Bling bling? Hate it. Hate it.

Kind of reminiscent of poopoo peepee kaka, eh?

DC> "LOL" ... and other e-mail/instant messenger speak. These shortcuts to
DC> English are decimating what's left of the language. Does anyone actual
DC> laugh out loud as they type that?

No, but people do say "L.O.L." in lieu of actually laughing, in the
workplace/etc.!  These fucking losers need to be exterminated!

DC> "Embedded Journalist" ... as a matter of objectivity, no journalist should
DC> ever be embedded in any organization on which he or she has to report. It
DC> seems to be a "hip" way of saying "at the scene." The next time I hear it
DC> used by the media, I'm going to embed my foot in the TV.

Couldn't it also mean "undercover journalist"? (although I can't imagine what
was wrong with THAT phrase, especially when infiltrating a prostitution ring!)

DC> "Shock and Awe" .. I can't wait until it hits the mainstream, as in "Shock
DC> and Awe Pool Cleaner."

As in. . .

   "Oh, shit! The power cable fell into the pool!"

ZZZZZZOTTTTT!!!! (shock)

   "hey, grandma's a bloated nigger now!"

AWWWWWW (the sympathy)

DC> "Captured Alive" ... you ever hear of anyone who has captured dead?

"as good as dead"?

DC> "Shots rang out" ... shots don't ring unless you're standing too close to
DC> the muzzle, and in that case, you don't need a reporter to tell you about
DC> it.

Not that you'd hear him telling you anyway!

DC> "Ripped from the headlines" ... kicking and screaming, no doubt.

Like a 6-month fetus at the Hollywod abortuary!

DC> "Sweat like a pig" ... ummm, pigs don't sweat. That's why they roll in the
DC> mud. To cool themselves. Duh!!

True story -- my first girlfriend was showing the day's humidity & I said she
was really sweating; so she says, "women don't sweat, we GLOW!" so I said,
"Well, stop it, you're glowing like a pig!"

DC> "In Harm's Way" .. who is Harm? And why would you want  to get in his way?
DC> Nosiree....not me!

Nickname for Harmony, one of the angels, or is it witches?

DC> "Hand-Crafted Latte" ... This compound is an insult to generations of
DC> skilled craftspeople who have mustered the  effort and discipline to create
DC> something beautiful by hand.  To apply "hand-crafted" to the routine tasks
DC> of the modern- day equivalents of soda jerks, cheapens the whole concept
DC> of handicraft.

Yeah, but they'd whine & cry if you called them "coffee jerks"!

DC> "Sanitary Landfill" ... ever been to one? "Sanitary" is not the first word
DC> that leaps to mind.

Sanitation Engineer -- they're shit-swabbers!


Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)

... nfx v3.1                                                                 

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