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Möte FUNNY, 4886 texter
 lista första sista föregående nästa
Text 4707, 149 rader
Skriven 2006-10-22 16:57:00 av Greg Sears
     Kommentar till en text av GEORGE POPE
Ärende: Re: New to F unny
=========================
       GEORGE POPE was entering F unny stuff to  GREG SEARS  

 GS> father's name was?"
   > A little kid said, "The Verge."
   > Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
   > The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking
   > about  The Verge n' Mary.

 GP> On (17 Oct 06) Greg Sears wrote to All...

 GP> Another kid says, "No, his name is Howard, you know, like the prayer
   > -- "Howard be thy name!"

 GP> Another says, "You're all loony -- haven't you sung that hymn? "ANDY
   > walks with me, ANDY talks with me" his name is obviously Andy!"

G-day Mate,

Talking kids somemore EH!!

Little Indian boy asked his father, the big chief and witch doctor of the
tribe, "Papa, why is it that we always have long names, while the white men
have shorter names - Bill, Tex or Sam, for example?"

His father replied, "Look, son, our names represent a symbol, a sign, or a poem
for our culture not like the white men, who live all
together and repeat their names from generation to generation. Also, it is part
of our makeup that in spite of everything, we survive."
"For example, your sister's name is Small Romantic Moon Over The Lake, because
on the night she was born, there was a beautiful moon reflected in the lake."

"Then there's your brother, Big White Horse of the Prairies, because he was
born on a day that the big white horse who gallops over the prairies of the
world appeared near our camp and is a symbol of our capacity to live and the
life force of our people. It's very simple and easy to understand.

"Do you have any other questions, Little Broken Condom Made in China?"


> OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant


He saw the stingray swimming nearby. He watched its tail, swinging back and
forth, making seductive curves in the water. The warmth its ripples created
stirred him, and he moved forward, pushing the water away as he waded up to
this long, slender beast.

"'Ello, mate." He said, placing one hand on her back, feeling the smooth
skin underneath his fingers, "We're gonna be great pals."

He moved his fingers to its soft underbelly, running his fingers along its
gills, shivering at the sensual pleasure its fleshy body gave him. But it
kept swimming, and the running motion over his hands made him tingle with
excitement. He followed it.

"Where ya going, love?" He said, reaching out and grasping its fin. It
stopped, flailing a bit. He pulled it towards himself, grabbing the soft
cartilige with the grip of a man with a mission. He managed to pull it back
to him, reaching towards its mouth. He pulled it up out of the water and kissed
it, feeling the water sputtering out on his face. He pulled back and
laughed.

"Oh, you really like this." He said as the beast flipped and attempted to
get out of his arms. He held onto the flipper with one hand while the other ran
down its body, reaching lower and lower, until finally he found what he was
looking for. His penis became hard a rock, and he pulled off his pants,
trembling.

"Crikey, that's a beaut!" He said, kissing the beast's undersides as he made
his way down its slippery body.

Of course, the beast would have none of that. It flipped its tail about,
trying to shake away from the gentle, sloppy kisses of the man. It felt him
entering its love canal with its tongue, and it began to shake even more
violently. It knew what was coming, especially as it felt the tongue move
away and heard the telltale zip of a pair of pants. With its strength ebbing
away, gasping for air, it made one last ditched effort to free itself from the
grip of this horrid man.

"Right, twist, darling," The man moved his large, stiff member towards the
beast, "I like it when they resist. It makes my penis harder."

It was life or death. The beast thrashed its tail, and with all its might,
it pushed its stiff, long stinger into the man's throbbing cock. He screamed
and let the beast go, but instead of swimming away, it pulled its tail out and
began to attack the man, pushing its tail into his waist, stabbing him full
of holes until the blood had dyed the water red. The man fell backwards, his
pants around his ankles and his penis ripped and torn apart by the beast's
ferocious stinger. The man was dead. But the beast wanted revenge.

The beast swam towards the man's corpse and flipped him over, so that his
backside was exposed and the remains of his penis flapped in the water.
After positioning the man's bleeding, hole-filled body, the beast backed up,
moving its long, spiked tail towards the man's tight arsehole. The tail
witched
with the excitement of exacting revenge upon the man who had violated the
east.
After waving its body a few times, the beast backed up, and with much force,
thrust its twisting member into the man's arsehole. At first the man's
arsehole was too tight, and the beast found it had trouble pulling out and
pushing in. But eventually blood began to trickle out of the man's hole, and
the beast began fucking him with even more gusto, its body heaving itself
against the man's arse, causing blood and shit to squirt out into the bloody
water around the two. The noise of the blood and shit excited the beast, and
it began pumping its thin stinger in and out with even more force, tearing
into the man with passion it had never before felt.

The thrusting became fiercer as the beast felt its tail begin ripping up the
man's insides. There was blood gushing out of the man's mouth, face, wounds,
and penis, which had instinctively become slightly more erect as the
pounding pushed against his prostate. The stingray thrust in and out,
ventually
stabbing into the man's testicles and prostate from behind. The rest of the
penis exploded, blood and flesh tearing across the water. The stingray was
violently forcing itself in and out of the man, making the water shake as
its lush, wet tail kept going in and out of the man's bleeding arsehole.

It kept this up, in and out, making tidal waves with the flapping of its
fins, forcing its stinger farther and farther upwards until at last it
unctured
the man's stomach and ripping the intestines away from it. The noise was wet
nd
loud, causing the stomach to bulge out and start trickling blood. After a few
more thrusts, the stingray pulled its blood and shit covered tail out of the
man's ravaged corpse. It only took a few shakes to remove the larger chunks
of shit, and a swim across the sand on the bottom of the water cleaned up the
rest, even sharpening the stinger and making its poison more poignant. After
looking back at the man's corpse as it floated towards a hungry group of
sharks, the stingray flapped its fins, and within minutes it was out in the
open ocean, leaving Steve Irwin's destroyed and bloody corpse to the hungry
mouths of great white sharks.


> OBJoke: for Mr. <+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")

  One secretary claims that she knows another secretary who likes to
live as she types:  Fast and with lots of mistakes.


Cheers,
       __o          o__      o__      o__      o__     There's one
     _ \<,_        _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   _.>/ _   in every
    (@)/ (@)      (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@) (@) \(@)  crowd....
...I C E-man.

... Cool! I figured out the Sysop's passwor$>@7& NO CARRIER

--- EzyQwk V2.01b006 00F90257
 * Origin: Afraid of the competition? We ARE the Competition! (3:633/104)