Text 4800, 84 rader
Skriven 2007-03-01 10:51:00 av George Pope (238.funny)
Ärende: Truly Canadian: a test
==============================
One of the rare times I pass on a joke to clog your inbox. IF you
have a sense of humor you will find it funny. If you grew up in 
rural Alberta you can totally relate as it could have been anyone of 
us,except for the stanfields of course.

As Canadians, we have to be extra vigilant. There are a lot of 
impostors out there. If you suspect that someone is falsely trying to 
pass themselves off as a Canadian, make the following statement - 
and then carefully note their reaction:


"Last night, I cashed my pogey and went to buy a mickey of C.C. at 
the beer parlour, but my skidoo got stuck in the muskeg on my way 
back to the duplex. I was trying to deke out a deer, you see. Damn 
chinook, melted everything. And then a Mountie snuck up behind 
me in a ghost car and gaveme an impaired. I was S.O.L., sitting 
there dressed only in my Stanfields and a toque at the time. And the 
Mountie, he's all chippy and everything, calling me a shit disturber" 
and what not. What could I say, except, "Sorry, EH!


If the person you are talking to nods sympathetically, they're one of
us. If however, they stare at you with blank incomprehension, they 
are not a real Canadian. Report them to the authorities at once. 
CSIS or the Mounties, it's your choice.

The passage cited above contains no fewer than 19 different 
Canadianisms. In order, they are: pogey: EI (Employment 
insurance). Money provided by the government for not working. 
mickey: A small bottle of booze (13 oz) (A Texas mickey, on the 
other hand, is a ridiculously big bottle of booze, which, despite the 
name, is still a Canadianism through and through.) C.C.: Canadian 
Club, a brand of rye. Not to be confused with hockeystick, another 
kind of Canadian Club. beer parlour: Like an ice cream parlour, but 
for Canadians. skidoo: Self-propelled decapitation unit for 
teenagers. muskeg: Boggy swampland. duplex: A single building 
divided in half with two sets of inhabitants, each trying to pretend 
the other doesn't exist while at the same time managing to drive 
each other crazy; metaphor for Canada's french and english. deke: 
Used as a verb, it means "to fool an opponent through skilful 
misdirection."As a noun, it is used most often in exclamatory 
constructions such as: "Whadda deke!" Meaning, "My, what an 
impressive display of physical dexterity employing misdirection
and guile."
chinook: An unseasonably warm wind that comes over the Rockies 
and onto the plains, melting snow banks in Calgary but just missing 
Edmonton, much to the pleasure of Calgarians. Mountie: Canadian 
icon, strong of jaw, red of coat, pure of heart.Always get their man! 
(See also Pepper spray, uses of.) snuck: To have sneaked; to move, 
past tense, in a sneaky manner; non-restrictive extended semi-
gerundial form of "did sneak." (We think.)
ghost car: An unmarked police car, easily identifiable by its 
inconspicuousness. impaired: A charge of drunk driving. Used both 
as a noun and as an adjective the alternative adjectival from of 
"impaired" being "pissed to the gills"). S.O.L.: Shit outta luck; in an 
unfortunate predicament. Stanfields: Men's underwear, especially 
Grandpa-style, white cotton ones with a big elastic waistband and a 
large superfluous flap in the front. And back! toque: Canada's 
official National Head Apparel, with about the same suave sex 
appeal as a pair of Stanfields. chippy: Behaviour that is 
inappropriately aggressive; constantly looking for a reason to find 
offence; from "chip on one's shoulder." (SeeWestern Canada) shit 
disturber: (See Quebec) a troublemaker or provocateur. According 
toKatherine Barber, editor in Chief of the Canadian Oxford
Dictionary, "shit disturber" is a distinctly Canadian term. (Just 
remember that Western Canada is chippy and Quebec is a shit 
disturber, and you will do fine.)


For even more fun...run spell checker on this.



Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
|<+]::-{)} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)

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