Text 4821, 156 rader
Skriven 2007-04-01 21:02:00 av Greg Sears
     Kommentar till en text av George Pope
Ärende: Re: Story
=================
* Echo: F-FUNNY
* Date: 03-29-07 05:20
* Subj: Story
******* GEORGE POPE replied IN a Message to GREG SEARS *******

 GS> (which it shouldn't have been), and inside the bathroom was a fat lady
   > taking a bath. In a minute, I knew the fat lady was going to scream her
   > head off. Thinking fast, I said 'Excuse me, sir,' and left. The 'excuse
   > me' was politeness, but the 'sir' was tact, and it saved the day. She
   > figured I hadn't been there long enought to see anything and  she calme
   > down. Get it?"

 GP> Is this what's known as "Inn Tact"?

    NO.. that would be an oxy-moron!

 G-day  GEORGE POPE, not much happening IN here?

 A couple stories. . .

From the UNIX C User's Journal
Bad C Pun Contest
Results

Number 9:
 UNIX is an operating C stem.

Number 8:
 golfer = &ball;       -- Golfer addressing the ball.

 Garbage::~Garbage()   -- Garbage disposal.

 free (Wozniak);
 free (jobs);          -- Throwing away an apple core.

 class Yourself {
    private:
      void Washing (boolean linenDirty);
 };                    -- Don't wash your dirty linen in public.

Number 7:
 Did you hear about the C++ programmer whose girlfriend broke up with
 him because he treated her like an object?

Number 6:
 "I come to bury C, sir -- not to praise it." -- attributed to
 Niclaus Wirth.

Number 5:
 Q: What did the C programmer say when they told him to code in Pascal?
 A: "Oh no!  Give me a BREAK!"

 Q: What did the Pascal programmer say when they told him to code in C?
 A: "I'd rather fight than SWITCH!"

Number 4:
 Q: What's the C programmer's answer to the famous question, "To be
    or not to be"?
 A: 0xFF (that is 0x2B | ~0x2B)  (assuming character arithmetic)

Number 3:
 #ifdef Get_A_Hearing_Aid

Number 2:
 Q: Who is the patron saint of portable programmers?
 A: Saint Francis of AN-SI C.

Number 1:
 Q: What do you get when you assing (char)0 to Arnold Schwarzenegger?
 A: A Null Terminator.

---------------

THERE'S A DUMMY ON MY KEYBOARD!!!!  by Dean Cook

Please forgive me, right now, my rambling and chatter
I simply can't figure out what is the matter.
I'm normally so smart that it boggles the mind
I try to take off and just leave him behind

I reckon it amounts to being slightly enraged
'Cause I am constantly, with a dummy, engaged
So please understand if my fax aren't all straight.
It sure beats the way that my owner says weight!

I'm constantly ignored as he seeks  to find
the most simple commands, hello, goodbye, or just on-line!
Oh, the pressures I'm under as all through my travels
He takes me to look through a file, then unravels!

He leaves me to find my own way back home
He gets me in trouble, and THEN HE'S GONE!
So I'm sure you will grant me this moment of peace,
As I stroll, on my own, attempting new lease.

Before I return to my master's abuses
Allow me the simple experience of uses.
I just need a few bytes of data afresh,
without that big dummy, cord tangling, enmeshed!

So run, when he calls. Your computer PROTECT!
And don't blame me 'cause of bad dialect.
He pushes the buttons and bangs on my keys.
Then threatens my demise when I have to freeze.

Oh life is so troubled and I can't see an end,
He'll never learn that I COULD be his friend!
I just hope he remembers my few limitations
& doesn't connect me with more imitations.

You see, my dilemma is quite undesireous
He exposed me last night to a horrible virus!
He trailed through the smut of a new BBS
And refused me a browse thru the file of a "YES!!!"

Heartbroken, discouraged, nowhere to go,
I guess I'll reboot so the dummy will know,
I still have my disk with all of my bytes
He needn't ge elsewhere to see all the sights.

I'll continue my service to the dummy, you see
so the dummy won't get mad and start blaming me!
And I want to be known as user friendly, you know
And maybe someday I'll train the dummy. OH NO!!!!!

Permission to copy granted under condition of acknowledgment.


 > OBJoke: for our Moderator and all-round friend/servant

  While in bed with her lover, the woman suddenly heard her husband at
the front door. "Quick," she whispered. "Sprinkle this flour over you
and pretend that you're a statue." Hi, honey. What's this?" her husband
asked as he entered the bedroom.

  "It's our new statue," she explained. "The Smiths bought one last week
and I thought it would be nice if we had one, too."

  Late that night the husband got up, went to the kitchen, made a
sandwich and poured a glass of milk. He walked up to the statue and
said, "Here, eat something. I stood like an idiot for three days at the
Smiths', and not a single son of a bitch offered me even a glass of
water."


    .------------.
   / I C E-van|[0]\
   |  _       |_ice\ Cheers,
~ ~=-(@)------(@)-=/ I C E-man
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