Text 4854, 245 rader
Skriven 2007-06-05 11:41:00 av George Pope (294.funny)
   Kommentar till text 4853 av ROBERT WOLFE (1:261/20)
Ärende: Re: News from South Islan
=================================
RW> Tee hee!  This was too, too funny :)

But where is YOUR contribution of funny in this reply of yours?

That's what keeqs the funny echo funny -- EVERY message MUST contain funny!

Here's some more on your favourite subject:

heard on www.khaha.com

90% of men masturbate, the other 10% have no arms!

60% of women masturbate the rest expect you to believe it takes THAT
long to take a bath!

-= 2=-

 You don't need to use a condom,
 You don't need a dental dam,
 You don't need to say "I Love You" or "Here's Fifty Dollars, Ma'am."

 Don't need to spring for dinner,
 Or wear all that sexy stuff,
 All you need's a set of fingers and a wanker or a muff.

 'Cause everybody's doin' it, all across the land,
 Masturbators Of Australia, Give Yourselves A Hand!

 It's natural, and organic,
 It's easy and it's fun,
 If you don't know how to do it ask your parents how it's done.

 You don't need a special license,
 You don't need a special skill,
 Just unzip and slip your grip between your hips and get a thrill.

 'Cause everybody's doin' it, and boy does it feel grand,
 Masturbators of Australia, Give Yourselves a Hand!

 You can do it in the bathroom,
 You can do it in your bed,
 You can do it at a concert while you watch the Grateful Dead.

 You can rub it with some lotion,
 You can stroke it with a cloth,
 Arnold Schwartzenegger pounds it,
 Michael Jackson jacks it off.

 Your attitude will soften, your horizons will expand.
 Masturbators of Australia, Give Yourself a Hand!

-= 3 =-

Q: What's this:
-----------------
"Give it here!"

"NO, IT'S MINE!"

"I said let me have it!"

"NO! IT'S MY TURN!"

"Common! Give it to me!"

"NO WAY!"
----------------------

A: Siamese twins whacking off.

-= 4 =-

        My next door neighbor was at a club the other night with her
boyfriend, when the topic came around to masturbation.  We noticed that
there were all kinds of terms for men doing it, but there weren't any
euphemistic phrases for women doing the same thing.  We asked my neighbor
what she called it.

        Giving a scornful look at her boyfriend, she muttered, "Finishing
The Job!"

There's more terms than that for one of my favourite spectator sports:

  Banging the Beezer
  Battery-testing 
  Beating around the bush 
  Beating the Bush 
  Blooming 
  Blossoming 
  Boffing the Bud 
  Bouncing on the Bed 
  Buffing the Muff 
  Bushwhacking 
  Buttering the Potato 
  Butting the Bead 
  Buzzing 
  Caressing the Kitty 
  Churning the Cream 
  Cleaning the Clam 
  Clit Twit 
  Combing the Brush 
  Copying Georgia O'Keefe 
  Crossing the Great Divide 
  Crossing the Swamp 
  Deep Dishin'
  Digging a Trench 
  Digitizing 
  Doing Laps 
  Dunking the Beaver 
  Enjoying a little Southern Comfort 
  Entering No Man's Land 
  Exploring the Deep South 
  Fanning the Furnace 
  Feeding the Beaver 
  Feeding the Fish 
  Feeding the Other Mouth 
  Finger Dancing 
  Finger Fun 
  Fingering the Accused 
  Flicking the Switch 
  Flipping the Bean 
  Flipping the Flaps 
  Flipping through the Pages 
  Four-lip Whistling 
  Galloping on the Goldstar 
  Going on a Finger Ride
  Greasing the Skillet 
  Gusset tryping 
  Having a Sushi Party 
  Hiking Through the Grand Canyon 
  Holding the Hamster 
  Hoodwinking 
  In the Hand Cream 
  Invoking Venus 
  Jilling-Off 
  Juicing It Up 
  Jump-starting the River 
  Lady Fingers and Cream 
  Launching a Class Probe 
  Loobing Your Goob 
  Making Kitty Purr 
  Making the Oysters Smile 
  Making Waves 
  Mistressbate 
  Muff Ruffing 
  Navel Maneuvers 
  On the Waterslide
  One Hand Clapping 
  Opening the Honey Pot 
  Parting the Petals 
  Parting the Red Sea 
  Pearl Diving 
  Performing for Mr. Swaggart 
  Petal Pushing 
  Petting the Kitty 
  Pitching in the Bush League 
  Polishing the Pearl 
  Praising the Orchid 
  Pressing the Pleats 
  Primin' the Hymen 
  Pushing the Puch 
  Pushing the Red Button 
  Reading Braille 
  Riding the Curl 
  Riding the Wild Hand 
  Ringing for the Maid 
  Rolling the Mink 
  Romancing the Rose
  Rowing the Little Man in the Boat 
  Saying the Rosary 
  Scrambling the Bramble 
  Scrubbing the Cake Pan 
  Scuffing the Muff 
  Searching for Spock 
  Shelling the Bean 
  Shooting the Pink Marble 
  Shooting the Rapids 
  Shucking the Oyster 
  Skimming the Cream 
  Slamming the Clam 
  Sliming the Moat 
  Spelunking 
  Spreading the Pedals 
  Squeezing the Charmin 
  Stirring the Cauldron 
  Strokin' the Slick 
  Strummin' the Big Open 
  Strumming 
  Surfing at Finger Beach
  Switching to Auto-pilot (vibrator) 
  Taking a Trip South 
  The Task at Hand 
  The Wild Ride 
  Tickling her Fancy 
  Tickling the Moustache 
  Tickling the Taco 
  Tip Toeing Through The Two Lips 
  Tossing the Pink Salad 
  Touch-typing 
  Traveling Past the Mason-Dixon Line 
  Twanging the Kitty Wire 
  Tweaking the Program 
  Vulva Aria 
  Waking the Butterfly 
  Yawning 
  Zipping on the Zundap 

applying nail polish remover
auditioning the finger puppets
buttering your bagel
checking for squirrels
checking the oil
cleaning my fur coat
coaxing the genie out of the magic lamp
dialing the rotary phone
dusting the end table
flipping the light switch
fluffing the kitty
going deep sea diving
making your own gravy
muffin buffin'
Opening the bottom drawer
paddling the pink canoe
playing the slots
reading braille
riding the unicycle
slapping the mackeral
unclogging the drain
visiting Niagra Falls
visiting your safety deposit box
working out at the Y



Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
|<+]::-{)} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)

... nfx v3.1                                                                 
--- SBBSecho 2.12-Win32
 * Origin: Collin County Station (1:124/6308)