Text 489, 201 rader
Skriven 2004-10-27 01:21:56 av DAVE COBLE (1:123/140)
     Kommentar till en text av CINDY HAGLUND
Ärende: Q. Did You Hear About The Man?
======================================
Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Broke His Neck Raking Leaves?
A. He Fell Out Of The Tree.   

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Called His Girlfriend Tapioca Because 
   She Could Be Made In A Minute?  

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Called His Girlfriends 'Margarine 
   Legs', Because They Spread So Easily?   

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Complained To A Friend That His Wife 
   Had Cut Him Down To Twice A Week.
A. The Friend Said, 'Hell That's Not So Bad, I Know Two Guys She's Cut Out 
   Entirely!'

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Couldn't Find Anyone To Sing With?
A. He Had To Buy A Duet-Yourself Kit.   

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Couldn't Spell?.
A. He Spent The Night In A Wharehouse.   

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Couldn't Wait To See 20,000 Leagues 
   Under The Sea?
A. He Said That He Loved Baseball, And Was Surprised That There Were So 
   Many Teams. 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Drove His Pickup Into The Lake?
A. His Dog Drowned While He Tried To Get The Tailgate Down.  

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Failed As A Tree Surgeon?
A. He Couldn't Stand The Sight Of Sap.   

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Fell Into A Crocodile Pit?
A. Before They Could Pull Him Out He Ate Three Of Them.  

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Gave Up Golf?
A. He Lost His Ball.
Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Took Up Golf?
A. He Found It.

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Heard That All Accidents Happen Within 
   A 1-Mile Radius Of Your House?
A. He Moved! 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Joined The Navy Because He Heard That 
   Waves Are The Best Humpers--But He Drowned Trying To Prove It?

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Knew So Much About Ducks That He Tended 
   To Talk Down To People?  

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Locked His Family In His Car?
A. It Took Him An Hour To Get Them Out With A Coat Hanger. 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Looked In A Lumber Yard For A Draft 
   Board? 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Lost His Girl Friend Because He 
   Couldn't Remember Where He Had Laid Her?  

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Lost His Whole Left Side In An Auto 
   Accident?
A. He's All Right Now! 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Made A Million Dollars In Poland?
A. He Was Selling Cheerios As Doughnut Seeds.   

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Made Counterfeit 2-Dollar Bills?
A. He Took Twenties, Then Erased The Zeros.  

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Moved His Entire House Six Inches To 
   The Side?
A. He Needed To Tighten His Loose Clothesline!

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Named His Dog Herpes?
A. He Heals Once A Month.   

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Never Worried About His Marriage Until 
   He Moved From New York To California And Discovered That He Still Had 
   The Same Milkman? 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Opened A Dry-Cleaning Business Next 
   Door To The Convent?
A. He Knocked On The Door And Asked The Mother Superior If She Had Any 
   Dirty Habits.

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Promised To Prevent Potholes?
A. He Brushed His Street With Crest. 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Put Iodine On His Pay Cheque Because He 
   Got A Cut In Pay?   

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Ran Through A Screen Door?
A. He Strained Himself. 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Read That Smoking Was Bad For Your 
   Health?
A. He Immediately Gave Up Reading. 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Survived Being Struck By Lightning?
A. He Was Shocked! 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Thought A Sanitary Belt Was A Drink 
   From A Clean Glass?  

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Thought He Was Evil Kneival?
A. He Tried To Jump 13 Motorcycles With A Mack Truck. 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Thought His Typewriter Was Pregnant  
   Because It Missed A Couple Of Periods? 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Thought Intercourse Was A State 
   Highway? 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Thought Nipples Were Japanese 
   Children?  

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Thought 'No Kidding' Was Meant To Be 
   Birth Control? 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Thought Peter Pan Was Something To Put 
   Under The Bed? 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Thought Something Was Fishy When He Got
A Parcel Marked C.O.D.? 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Thought That A Mushroom Was A Place To 
   Neck?   

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Thought That Asphalt Was Rectum 
   Trouble? 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Took A Course At A College On Making 
   Nativity Scenes?
A. It Was A Creche Course.

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Took A Course In Exotic Lovemaking And 
   Announced That He'd Never Be Able To Face His Girl Again?  

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Took A Roll Of Toilet Paper To A Crap 
   Game?   

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Took Early Retirement From Three Mile 
   Island Nuclear Power Plant?
A. He Went To Maine And Got A Job As A Lighthouse.

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Took His Pregnant Wife To A Grocery 
   Store, Because They Had Free Delivery? 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Was Found Dead In A Hot Tub Full Of 
   Milk With A Banana In His Mouth?
A. They Think It's A Serial Killer. 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Was Half German And Half Polish?
A. He Hated Jews But Couldn't Figure Out Why! 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Was So Stupid That Other Men Noticed?
A. (None Required) 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Was So Unlucky He Got A Paper Cut From 
   A Get Well Card? 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Was Tap Dancing?
A. He Broke His Ankle When He Fell Into The Sink. 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Was Treated At The Emergency Room For A 
   Concussion And Severe Head Wounds?
A. She Tried To Commit Suicide By Hanging Herself With A Bungie Cord.  

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That Won A Gold Metal In The Olympics?
A. He Took It Home And Got In Bronzed. 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man That, Upon Being Told By His Shrewish Wife 
   That She Would Dance On His Grave, Promptly Provided For A Burial At 
   Sea?  

Q. Did You Hear About The Man Who Fell Into An Upholstery Machine?
A. He's Fully Recovered. 

Q. Did You Hear About The Man Who Liked Bathing Beauties?
A. He Bathed At Least One A Week.   

Q. Did You Hear About The Man Who Lost The Light Of His Life?
A. He Found A New Match.  

Q. Did You Hear About The Man Who Poisoned His Blonde Girlfriend With A 
   Razor Blade?
A. He Gave Her Arsenic.  

Q. Did You Hear About The Man Who Won The Gold Medal At The Olympics?
A. He Had It Bronzed.   

Q. Did You Hear About The Man Who Worked In A Gum Factory And Fell In A 
   Vat Of Bubblegum?
A. His Boss Had To Chew Him Out.  

Q. Did You Hear About The Man With The Worst Luck In The World?
A. His Parents Arranged A Bride For Him. On His Wedding Day, He Discovered 
   She Was The Most Hideous Looking Woman In The World. He Went Out And 
   Got A Sex Change Operation So He Wouldn't Have To F*** Her -- Then He 
   Discovered She Was Gay!
--- Platinum Xpress/Win/WINServer v3.0pr5
 * Origin: Try Our Web Based QWK: DOCSPLACE.ORG (1:123/140)