Text 495, 61 rader
Skriven 2004-10-27 01:28:00 av DAVE COBLE (1:123/140)
Ärende: LETTER TO XEROX
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This is a supposedly true letter sent to the Xerox Corporation,

      "LETTER TO XEROX"

Dear Kings of Kopiers:

   I just started a new job as an exterminator's assistant, and part of
my job is mailing out invoices to our clients. Today, while printing
all the invoices, I ran out of printer paper, so I ran down to the
local office supply store and picked up several boxes of Xerox MultiUse
Paper. While the invoices were printing, I noticed something on the
package of paper that concerned me, and I thought I'd better check with
you about it.

   On the box, there is a little thing that says 99.99% jam free. I know
that sometimes wood finds its way into paper, but jam? I was always
taught to keep all food and drinks away from computer equipment,
especially something as sticky as jam. Now, I realize that it is a very
small amount of jam in each piece of paper, but we use an awful LOT of
paper, my friends, and all that jam is sure to add up. Won't that
adversely affect the life of our printer? I mean, I'm sure you know
what you're doing when it comes to paper, but we use more than the
average consumer, so maybe we would be better off with a "Jam-free"
paper, if you offer such a product. I will look for it next time I am
shopping, which will be soon, as I don't want to use any more of this
paper until I find out if it's really safe.

   If it is safe, why not say "Contains .01% jam, but it's perfectly
safe" in big letters, since I'm sure that I am not the only one who has
this concern. You may end up selling a lot more paper that way. By the
way, I'm curious as to why you would even put jam in paper. Does it
help bond everything together so it doesn't look like confettii? Just
curious.

   Also, I'd appreciate a Xerox keychain.

Thanks,
Dave Cilluffo

----- The Reply -----

   Thank you for your message. We greatly appreciate your taking the time
to send us your feedback regarding our 99.99% jam free paper. We have
restricted the manufacture of paper to the morning because we have so
many folks who eat jam for lunch. Nevertheless, it has been our
experience that small amounts of jam have found its way into the paper
via morning bagels and jam-filled donuts.

   Our tests have shown that the .01% jam isn't harmful to machinery and
you may continue to use it. In fact, the jam has improved the overall
quality of the finished print. However, you may have to keep a can of
ant spray around. You may wish to enhance paper performance by using
the 99.99% jam free paper with our new line of 99.99% peanut butter
free paper. They absolutely work best when used together. Or, if you
prefer, you can save time by using the 99.99% PB & J free paper.

   Whatever you choose, we are sure you will be pleased with the results.
In appreciation of your e-mail, we will be sending you a Xerox T-
shirt. If we can be of other help in the future, please let us know.
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