Text 551, 148 rader
Skriven 2004-11-18 14:12:00 av Greg Sears
     Kommentar till en text av CINDY HAGLUND
Ärende: F unny                1/2
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 BBS: Milky Way Date: 11-16-04 (14:53) CINDY HAGLUND replied To: GREG SEARS

CH>Isn't it funnier though how Xtians are so busy destroying God's world?
  >,,,,,,,,,,,,,,                                 ^^^^^^^^^^
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 F unny it's bloody sickening the way everyone is |||||||||| where I live?

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CH>0n (30 May 04) Greg Sears wrote to All...
  > GS> An atheist was taking a walk through the woods.
  > GS> "What majestic trees!
  > GS> What powerful rivers!
  > GS> What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
[......]
CH> GS> And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke, "Lord,
  > GS> bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly
  > GS> thankful."

OBJoke: Butcher Dance

A guy has spent five years traveling all around the world making a
documentary on Native dances. At the end of this time, he has every
single native dance of every indigenous culture in the world on film.
He winds up in Australia, in Alice Springs, so he pops into a pub for
a well earned beer. He gets talking to one of the local Aborigines and
tells him about his project.

The Aborigine asks the guy what he thought of the "Butcher Dance."

The guy's a bit confused and says, "Butcher Dance? What's that?"

"What? You no see Butcher Dance?"

"No, I've never heard of it."

"Oh mate. You crazy. How you say you film every native dance if you no
see Butcher Dance?"

"UmmSUM. I got a corroborree on film just the other week. Is that what
you mean?"

"No no, not corroborree. Butcher Dance much more important than
corroborree."

"Oh, well how can I see this Butcher Dance then?"

"Mate, Butcher Dance right out bush. Many days travel to go see
Butcher Dance."

"Look, I've been everywhere from the forests of the Amazon, to deepest
darkest Africa, to the frozen wastes of the Arctic filming these
dances. Nothing will prevent me from recording this one last dance."

"OK, mate. You drive north along highway towards Darwin. After you
drive 197 miles, you see dirt track veer off to left. Follow dirt
track for 126 miles 'til you see big huge dead gum tree - biggest tree
you ever see. Here you gotta leave the car, because much too
rough for driving.

You strike out due west into setting sun. You walk 3 days 'til you
hit creek. You follow this creek to Northwest. After 2 days you find
where creek flows out of rocky mountains. Much too difficult to
cross mountains here though. You now head south for half day 'til
you see pass through mountains.

Pass very difficult and very dangerous. Take 2, maybe 3 days to get
through rocky pass. When through, head northwest for 4 days 'til
reach big huge rock - 20 ft high and shaped like man's head. From
rock, walk due west for 2 days and you find village. Here you see
Butcher Dance."

So the guy grabs his camera crew and equipment and heads out. After a
couple of hours he finds the dirt track. The track is in a shocking
state and he's forced to crawl along at a snails pace and so he
doesn't reach the tree until dusk and he's forced to set up camp for
the night.

He sets out bright and early the following morning. His spirits are
high and he's excited about the prospect of capturing on film this
mysterious dance which he had never heard mention of before.

True to the directions he has been given, he reaches the creek after
three days and follows it for another two until they reach the rocky
mountains. The merciless sun is starting to take its toll by this time
and his spirits are starting to flag, but wearily he trudges on until
he finds the pass through the hills - nothing will prevent him from
completing his life's dream.

The mountains prove to be every bit as treacherous as their guide said
and at times they almost despair of getting their bulky equipment
through. But after three and a half days of back breaking effort they
finally force their way clear and continue their long trek.

When they reach the huge rock, four days later, their water is running
low and their feet are covered with blisters. Yet they steel
themselves and head out on the last leg of their journey.

Two days later they virtually stagger into the village where the
natives feed them and give them fresh water. They begin to feel like
new men.

Once he's recovered enough, the guy goes before the village chief and
tells him that he has come to film there Butcher Dance.

"Oh mate. Very bad you come today. Butcher Dance last night. You too
late. You miss dance."

"Well, when do you hold the next dance?"

"Not 'til next year."

"Well, I've come all this way. Couldn't you just hold an extra dance
for me, tonight?"

"No, no, no! Butcher Dance very holy. Only hold once a year. If hold
more, gods get very angry and destroy village! You want see Butcher
Dance you come back next year."

The guy is devastated, but he has no other option but to head back to
civilization and back home.

The following year, he heads back to Australia and, determined not to
miss out again, sets out a week earlier than last time. He is quite
willing to spend a week in the village before the dance is performed
in order to ensure he is present to witness it. However, right from
the start things go wrong.

Heavy rains that year have turned the dirt track to mud and the car
gets bogged every few miles, finally forcing them to abandon their
vehicles and slog through the mud on foot almost half the distance to
the tree.

They reach the creek and the mountains without any further hitch, but
halfway through the ascent of the mountain they are struck by a
fierce storm which rages for several days, during which they are
forced to cling forlornly to the mountainside until it subsides. It
would be suicide to attempt to scale the treacherous paths in the
face of such savage elements.

Then, before they have traveled a mile out from the mountains, one of
the crew sprains his ankle badly which slows down the rest of their
journey enormously, to the rock and then the village.
>>> Continued to next message

 * SLMR 2.1a * Between 2 evils always pick the one you haven't tried.

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