Text 573, 124 rader
Skriven 2004-11-25 05:25:36 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av Mick Lazic
Ärende: Re: Dave type_F unnys.....
==================================
 ML>> GS> I admit I don't use my lawn mower headlights
   >>   > often, but the wiring for them made it much
   >>   > easier to install a cigarette lighter beside my
   >>   > swivel beer holder.

      -=[ Mick Lazic was replying with stuff to the I C E-man ]=-

ML> Err, swivel beer holder only swivels ( left or right) one way. Being
  > a truckie, I prefer a gimbal(led) beer holder. It swivels 4 ways  -
  > think of a Gyro compass setup. Great in boats :)

This same "Swival Beer Holder" serves ME well on the golf trundler! If I
was an artist the ^^^^ ^^^^^^ could be shown.
                                           *\
Beer carrier :)                              \
                                              \
                                               \
                                               || 1) centre connection.
                                         ------|| 2) ball attach point.
                                         |-----|| 3) clear free swing
                                         |-----||    in every direction.
                                         |-----|| 4) tough plastic frame
                                          \____/     c/w insulated cup.

ML> BTW, Love some of the jokes here but most are just too long. We need
  > jokes not 'stories' ;(

Maybe someday in a perfect world F unny echos will have only.....
                                                            ~short jokes~

OBShort joke:

Once some burglars broke into the bank, one of them
pointing the gun to the cashier said, "Give me all your
money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!"

The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say 'HISTORY.'"

The burglar answered, "Don't change the subject."


OBLong joke:

COMPUTER VIRUS MAKING TO BE PROSECUTED AS HATE CRIME FOR TARGETING
STUPID PEOPLE Systems Administrators Now On Front Lines of Bias Crime

Washington, D.C. - With yet another email virus spreading across the
globe, 41 U.S. states and six European countries today announced that the
act of creating an attachment-based computer virus will now be considered
a hate crime because it intentionally targets stupid people.

Hate crime victim Bob Fnork is stunned to discover he has just opened
another infected attachment. "In a hate crime, the offender is motivated
by the victim's personal characteristics, and in the case of email
viruses, the maker is clearly singling out those who open email
attachments when they've been told a thousand times not to," said
California Attorney General Bill Lockyer. "Like any other segment of the
population, people of stupidity need protection from bias."

The decision, however, is already causing a firestorm of controversy. In
the United States, the American Civil Liberties Union vehemently opposed
the action, arguing it runs counter to the spirit of hate crime laws.

"Hate crime statutes are specifically designed to protect minority
groups," said ACLU President Nadine Strossen. "I'm not sure the number of
stupid computer users meets that criterion."

France, meanwhile, said it would not prosecute anyone willing to write a
virus in French.

But in London, the British Civil Idiots Union applauded the move, arguing
that virus-based hate crimes cause victims to suffer psychological harm.
"Every time we pass on one of these emails, our self-esteem is shattered
when we are forced to publicize our condition," said CIU President
Michael Overly. "It's always a shock to my system every time I have to
write, "Hey everybody, if you get an email attachment from me, don't open
it! I just found out my computer got infected by a virus! Sorry!"

In identifying virus-based hate crime activity, U.S. and European law
enforcement authorities said they will focus on anyone creating a virus
delivered via email attachment that contains either no subject line or a
vague subject line such as "Hey, check this out!" "I saw this and thought
of you!" or "I am wanting to get your opinion on this."

Congressional leaders also said they will amend the 1990 Hate Crimes
Statistics Act and require the FBI to track data on crimes based on race,
religion, sexual orientation, ethnicity, or stupidity. As a result, some
experts expect the annual number of hate crimes in the U.S. alone to jump
from 6,500 to 132 million.

Others believe the actual number will be higher, but say many crimes will
go unreported because the victim refuses to recognize what has happened.
Dallas, Texas resident Mike Smith is a case in point.

"I am not a victim of a hate crime because I am not stupid," said Smith.
"I got an email with an attachment from my buddy in Phoenix, so
naturally, I opened it. What's so stupid about that?"

What, Smith was asked, did the email say?

"It said, 'I_love_you.' Why?"

In Moline, Ill., police have already made their first arrest under the
expanded laws. Matthew Spere, a 17-year-old high school senior, was taken
into custody this morning after police said he had created and propagated
a
variant of the "Goner" virus. In a phone interview, Spere denied the
charges. "My virus wasn't targeting stupid computer users specifically,
just anyone using Microsoft's Outlook Express or AOL," he said. "Oh...
damn."

Copyright © 2001, SatireWire.


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