Text 633, 99 rader
Skriven 2004-12-06 00:55:40 av DAVE COBLE (1:123/140)
Ärende: 15 Mistakes......
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15 MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE WHEN HAVING SEX:

1) BEING PASSIVE

Don't let him undress you and himself. Just help him a little bit, like
making the first step. It won't hurt. One more thing, just cause we are men
it doesn't mean that we must do all the work.

2) WEARING JEANS OR TIGHT PANTS

It takes time to take off these kinds of clothes. Every second counts.
Remember one thing: the more time you got, the more rounds you got. And the
more rounds you got, the more you are satisfied. Be smart.

3) GOING DOWN HALFWAY

Once you start going down, don't stop at the belly button or around it.
Keep going or just don't go below the neck at all.

4) CHOCKING HIS CHICKEN TOO HARD

Men feel pain; we are not as tough as you think. No man has a leather Dick.
You got to be smooth with the Dick. Pulling it too hard doesn't make us
feel horny it hurts us even though we don't tell you.

5) LICKING HIS EAR TOO MUCH

It's just the same as a dog licking a bitch's ass.

6) MOANING LIKE A RUNNER WHO NEEDS AIR

Better moan with style girl causes men love to make fun of girls who can't
moan like movie stars (Halle Berry, Whitney Houston). Try not to make too
much noise when you exhale.

7) SCRATCHING HIS BACK

We don't need no autographs, girls. It does not feel good at all! Depending
on the length of the nails, and how deep u dig the nail in our backs, they
leave permanent marks. So keep your nails in your pockets, please. If you
feel the need to scratch a brother's back, either grip the hell out of the
sheets, or the headboard.

8) LETTING YOUR LONG HAIR FALL ON HIS FACE

Men need air: they breathe. So please be intelligent a little bit. Don't
just think about yourself:

9) JUMPING ON HIS HIPS 2 HARD

A man is not a horse so please take it easy unless you got a big booty that
can take care of the landing.

10) SCREAMING TOO LOUD WHEN YOU CUM

What are you, crazy? Do you want us to get caught by parents or you just
love to see us jumping trough the window butt naked.

11) KEEP YOURSELF CLEAN

Everyone knows that fish is the smell. But we don't have to be 20 smelling
it when you take your drawls off. Please warn us if you haven't freshened
up. And nobody wants to suck on no salty dirty titties. Ladies men aren't
the only ones who sweat you know. And we sure don't want you smelling like
you work at a fish market either. Make sure your ass is clean! No man wants
to eat off a dirty plate.

12) Make sure your feet are in check

Every man has a certain turn on, everything on a woman must be perfect,
that's how we like it and love it. Do not, I repeat do not! Get in bed with
us with your feet looking like you've been walking barefoot on toxic waste.
You know what I'm talking about, nail polish coming off halfway, smelly
like hell, Uneven toenails, soles are ashy as hell feeling like sand paper,
it's hard to perform good foreplay when you have hammer time, and most and
worst of all, don't even think about asking us to suck your toes if they
look like they've been beaten with a sledgehammer (ugly). And we are not
too fond of unpolished toes either. We like them soft, smooth, pretty and
most of all tasty looking.

13) GIVING HEAD

Some women have a very bad habit of using your teeth, that is not a banana.
It's a hell of a difference between a Dick and a banana.

14) AFTER SEX: BROADCASTING

Don't go bragging to your girlfriends that you so called got us "whipped"
or "sprung". It's not cool at all, especially when his homies are around.
If a man is "sprung" he'll admit it. We may be "whipped" or "sprung" just
won't admit it.

15) KEEP IT REAL

When you're at the point of a breakup in a relationship, don't wait until
then to tell us we didn't knock it right. You know damn well we had you
climbing walls & walking on air.
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