Text 670, 132 rader
Skriven 2004-12-07 19:24:00 av Greg Sears
     Kommentar till en text av GEORGE POPE
Ärende: George's Jokers.........
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(Author UNKNOWN)
One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you,
is to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone
call from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be
as irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went
something like this:

 Me: Hello
 AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...
 Me: Is this AT&T?
 AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
 Me: This is AT&T?
 AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...
 Me: Is this AT&T?
 AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?
 Me: May I ask who is calling?
 AT&T: This is AT&T.
 Me: OK, hold on.

 At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that,
surely, this person would have hung up the phone. Much to my surprise,
when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

 Me: Hello?
 AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
 Me: May I ask who is calling please?
 AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
 Me: Is this AT&T?
 AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
 Me: This is AT&T?
 AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron?
 Me: Yes, is this AT&T?
 AT&T: Yes sir.
 Me: The phone company?
 AT&T: Yes sir.
 Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.
 AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.
 Me: I already have a phone.
 AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron.
 Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for
    calling.

 When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express
yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested," but
this lady was persistent.

 AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours
    a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

 Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute
but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see that it was
time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.

 Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?
 AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir
    that's right! 24 hours a day!
 Me: 7 days a week?
 AT&T: That's right.
 Me: 365 days a year?
 AT&T: Yes sir.
 Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
 AT&T: We think so!
 Me: That's quite a sum of money!
 AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it ads up.
 Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one
    at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an
    annual check, can I get a cash advance?
 AT&T: Excuse me?
 Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
 AT&T: What are you talking about?
 Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a
    week, 365 days a year.  That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week
    and $52,560 per year. I'm just  interested in knowing how you will
    be making payment.
 AT&T: Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a
    minute.
 Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a
    minute. Are you sure this is AT&T?
 AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but......
 Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me
    10 cents a minute that     I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this
    some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've   read about
    things like this in the Enquirer you know.  Don't use your alien
    brainwashing techniques on me.
 AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for.....
 Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!
 AT&T: Sir I don't think that is necessary.
 Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?
 AT&T: What?
 Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
 AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold on.

 So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to
eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes
and while I have a mouth full of food:

 Supervisor: Mr. Byron?
 Me: Yeth?
 Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a
    minute program.
 Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?
 Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is.

 I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to
suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.

 Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so
    that I could sign up for       the plan.
 Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who
    was helping you.
 Me: Thank you.

 I was on hold once again and was getting really hungry. I needed to end
this conversation.  Suddenly, there was an irritated but polite voice
at the other end of the phone.
  AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing
    up for our plan?
Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have
    enough friends  and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a
    little brother...
 AT&T: (click)

.      .-.
.    .(  °> Cheers,
.   //)'')  from the
.  ///''/   I C E-man
. //-"-"-------------

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