Text 675, 100 rader
Skriven 2004-12-07 11:57:00 av George Pope
     Kommentar till en text av GREG SEARS
Ärende: Re: Poems
=================
GS>  GS> She always spelled cunt with a "k".
GS>  GP> No -- she spelled KUNT with a "K"!
GS>   Your ~she~ is a different "SHE" than MY ~she~ eh! '-)

Why?  If yours typed the word "kunt" then she spelled "kunt"!
She may well have been meaning to spell "cunt" but she DIDN'T!

GS> English Tourist: Have you lived here all of your life?
GS> Cornish Farmer: Not yet.

Which is certainly the best possible answer to THAT question!

Speaking of giving answers. . .

  As a man, I am unable to figure out why women act the way they do. Can
any man really comprehend women?  I don't think so.  My friend Gary and
his statement "they are just two different animals" keeps coming to
mind.

  I can see the physical differences.  Medically there are physiological
differences. Often, I think it is this physiological part that takes
over.   I liken it to a parent trying to understand a teenager.  A
teenager is a raging sack of hormones that causes them to act in a way
parents just don't  understand.  A woman has hormone changes monthly
that affect her behavior.   It's a fact.  Even the court system
recognizes this.  It is commonly called the PMS defense.  But how do we
men understand what a women is going through and how do we deal with it.
Bottom line, you can't.  End of story.

  All a man can do is live with it and hope for the best.  The problem
most men have is that they are all to often, when dealing with women,
motivated by a single thing, sex.  As my wife Cathy says, "they think
with the wrong head".  If men are to live peacefully with women, they
have to learn to think with the right head.  The big question is how?

  Take those dreaded questions women ask.  Let's face it guys, no matter
what answer you give, you are in for trouble.  So why avoid it.  When a
woman asks "what are you thinking?"  You can answer "I was just thinking
how much I love you and how I could never find a love like yours with
any other woman".  Sounds good doesn't it?  No problem with that answer,
right?  WRONG!   Women aren't stupid and they know you would never think
like that.  So why lie?

  Instead, make the first time the question is asked, a precedent for
future times.  Your first response will be a painful one.  A lot of
anger and a day long tirade from your wife or girlfriend. After that,
you can answer truthfully and just receive snide remarks, then the
subject is dropped.  My response the first time Cathy asked that
question was "I was just wondering what that woman over there with the
great body would look like naked".  An honest answer.  Sure I was nearly
beaten to death and suffered verbal abuse the rest of the day, but now
she expects a typical male answer from me.  I only receive slight
bruising and the occasional black eye from my responses.

  What about the question "is my butt getting bigger?"  Guys, she
doesn't want an answer from you.  She wants to let out the anger she has
toward herself from gaining weight.  You can't win.  A lie won't help,
so tell the truth.  Saying, "yep, it sure is.  It is almost as big as
mine" won't make her happy, but then again nothing will.  But make that
statement once, and your wife will never ask it again.  Sure the first
time I said it to Cathy I was in a coma for three weeks, but she never
asked it again.

  Then there is that awful question women ask in the store "do you like
this out fit or one of the other forty I have just tried on".  Let's
face it guys, you can't rush a woman when she is shopping.  Unless of
course you provide the right answer.  Make your response one that will
end this question forever.  When Cathy asked that question in front of
the young salesgirl I simply said "actually, I liked that see-through
teddy over there.  Do you think the sales girl could model it for us?"
This ended that shopping expedition.  Sure security had to be summoned
to remove her hands from my throat, but shopping was over for the day.
We made it home in time to watch the opening kick off of the football
game!

 Come on guys, don't lie to your wife or girlfriend.  Women can see
right through it.  Just be a guy.  Say what comes to mind.  Sure you'll
suffer immensely the first time you say it, but after that the woman
will expect it.  She'll just respond "you pig!" and that's it.  Women
know what men are like, they know they can't change us, yet they still
want to be with us.  Go figure.  With this in mind, be yourself.  In the
long term, it is for the best.  They will never ask you those silly
questions again.  Of course you may never be allowed to go on a day long
shopping trip to the mall again, but it is a small price to pay for
domestic harmony.



Your Moderator and all-round friend/servant,
<+]::-{(} ("Cyberpope")
Internet: gapope@vcn.bc.ca
1)If you don't like a joke, post 2-3 examples of what you DO like!
B)If you DO like a joke, say thank-you with 2-3 jokes of your own! :)

(AKA the Bishop of ROM!)

... nfx v3.1 What if there were no hypothetical questions?                   

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