Text 687, 92 rader
Skriven 2004-12-09 08:02:54 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
Ärende: Bones
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.  o  _   From the Desk of Greg Sears AREA: F-UNNY
. Q\_|_)   --=[ I C E-man's FUNNY BONE Collection Book for ALL ]=--
. T> III                     Page: 01

               Become An Instant World Power Overnight


  Want power and respect?  Want to influence the course of world events?
  Want to be on CNN every night?  Tired of hum-drum conventional warfare
  and messy bio-chemical weapons?  Want to watch the citizens of your
  favorite arcology squirm and sweat in constant nagging fear of instant
  and unexpected annihilation?

                         Lease a nuclear device!
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  In the wake of the former Soviet Union's demise, there are literally
  thousands of high-quality nuclear weapons complete with intercontinental
  delivery systems going unused.

  Though these systems are indeed powerful and destructive weapons of war,
  they are most effective when used in a more passive role.  The US and
  USSR have proven in years of research and actual testing that nuclear
  devices are most effective when merely targeting an enemy.  Actual deto-
  nation is not normally necessary to achieve tremendous effect in the
  designated target's military, political, economic and social well being.

  Imagine the boost in national pride and morale when you personally an-
  nounce on state radio and television that you have put long-time enemies
  under threat of nuclear destruction.  They will praise your name as a
  powerful and inspired leader even without the secret police's encour-
  agement.
                               Why lease?

  By leasing, you not only save money developing your own nuclear tech-
  nology program, you save a lot of unnecessary headaches too.

  Nuclear weapons development is expensive and time consuming, not to
  mention easily detectable.  It could take you years to acquire and build
  the necessary industry to manufacture weapons-grade material.  Even
  after that, you still have to design, build and test your first device
  before anyone takes you seriously.

  Purchasing existing nuclear hardware is also expensive and risky.  Most
  governments are on the lookout for such activity.  Many dealers are
  crooked.  Do you really want to take a chance getting ripped off by
  shady weapons dealers?

  Even if you succeed purchasing through the black market, you stand the
  risk of getting on the wrong side of international opinion.  You could
  lose existing conventional arms contracts, face economic sanctions or
  even military action.

  With a lease you avoid a lot of other problems too.  Since the weapons
  are not on your property, you avoid becoming a target yourself.  You can
  forget about the high cost of security, environmental pollution concerns
  and even subversion by renegade generals in your own army.

  The advantages of leasing are tremendous. You just sign, point, and go!
  When you are through leasing, just turn in the button and walk away.
  You can even change your target at any time for a small fee.  (Handy for
  preventing those nasty coup d' etats.)  You can announce your target or
  keep it secret.  Each targeted device contract comes with a certificate
  of authenticity and sufficient proof actual delivery capability.

  The best part is, you don't pay for the whole weapon, unless you act-
  ually fire it!  This alone presents a HUGE cost savings over the alter-
  natives.

  Imagine the power and prestige you will feel when you get your very own
  button.  You can do things you never thought possible, like pounding
  your shoe on the UN podium.  Hey, and nothing says sexy like a nuclear
  trigger.

  Hurry, opportunities are limited!  Contact Raydeax corporation for more
  details on how you too can become an instant nuclear world power.

         _                                                 _
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        (_.===============================================._)

 

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