Text 698, 81 rader
Skriven 2004-12-09 08:07:20 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
Ärende: Bones
=============
.  o  _   From the Desk of Greg Sears AREA: F-UNNY
. Q\_|_)   --=[ I C E-man's FUNNY BONE Collection Book for ALL ]=--
. T> III                     Page: 12

               This Is The Story Of Brewster The Rooster

  There was this farmer, and his hens had stopped producing eggs.  Well,
  he talked to a buddy of his who offered to sell him a rooster that
  would help up his production.  His price was $150.00, but came with a
  money-back guarantee.  Now this farmer had already spent $200.00 on
  two previous roosters that didn't work out on account of they couldn't
  satisfy his hens.  Anyhow, he gambled and bought this third rooster,
  who's name (you guessed it) is Brewster.

               Well, he got Brewster home an' threw him in the henhouse.
     ,   #     There was all this cacklin' & squawkin', and the farmer
    (\\_(^>    thought, poor Brewster, he ain't a gonna make it.  He
    (_(__)`    comes back to the henhouse 1/2 an hour later and every-
       ||      thing is quiet.  He takes a peek in there, and all the
       ^^      hens are satisfied and fast asleep.

  Suddenly, he heard a terrible racket out in the barn, so he ran to it
  and ripped the doors open. To his surprise, there was Brewster with all
  the cows lined up, and he was trying his best to mate with them!

  "God bless it!" the farmer said, "Brewster, you're going to kill your-
  self!"  Brewster didn't pay him no mind, and kept right on at it.

  Well, the farmer had some more work to do, so he left him there, and
  came back a couple of hours later.  He opened up the barn doors, and
  damned if the cows weren't all fast asleep!  So he went to check on
  the horses, and they were tired out and fast asleep too!!!
                                                                    x
  Then he heard a ruckus from out behind the barn,       .-. _______|
  and rushed to see what was the matter.  Sure           |=|/     /  \
  enough, it was Brewster, and he had all the            | |_____|_""_|
  pigs lined up, and he was still going strong!      jgs |_|_[X]_|____|

  He cried "BREWSTER! You're Going To Kill Yourself!!!"  And with that he
  tried to pull him off, but there weren't no budging him.  Well, it was
  about the time for Farmer John to turn in, so he did.

  The next morning, he came out into the backyard, tripping over his sat-
  isfied and sleeping dog.  After checking on all the animals and finding
  them in the same condition, he started looking for Brewster.  But Brew-
  ster was nowhere to be found.  Finally heading out to the fields, he
  found him, as a result of the vultures circling over Brewster.

  Brewster was lying on his back, ...both legs in the air, ...tongue
  dried & hanging out, ...one eye open & glassy, ...one wing over his
  chest, and the other splayed out on the ground.

  Farmer John took a ragged breath and said "Brewster, I told you once,
  I told you a million times, You were going to kill yourself, and now
  look at you!!!!"

  Brewster slowly opened up his other eye, brought the wing on his chest
  up to his beak as he tried to speak.  Farmer John leaned closer so he
  could hear Brewster's last words....

  Brewster opened up his beak, pointed up to the vultures, and said:

      ,   #      "Shhhh. Go'way. They're about to land."        _
     (\\_(^>                            _.                    >(')__,
     (_(__)           ||          _.||~~ {^--^}.-._._.---.__.-;(_~_/
        ||   (^..^)   ||  (\(__)/)  ||   {6 6 }.')' (. )' ).-`  ||
      __||____(oo)____||___`(QQ)'___||___( v  )._('.) ( .' )____||__
      --||----"- "----||----)  (----||----`-.''(.' .( ' ) .)----||--
      __||__@(    )___||___(o  o)___||______#`(.'( . ( (',)_____||__
      --||----"--"----||----`--'----||-------'\_.).(_.). )------||--
        ||            ||       `||~|||~~|""||  `W W    W W      ||jgs
      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

         _                                                 _
        (_'------Suggest The Funny Bone To A Friend-------'_)
        (_.===============================================._)

 

--- EzyBlueWave V2.01b005 00F90260
 * Origin: Milky Way, Langley, BC [604] 532-4367 (1:153/307)