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Skriven 2004-12-09 08:12:28 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
Ärende: Bones
=============
.  o  _   From the Desk of Greg Sears AREA: F-UNNY
. Q\_|_)   --=[ I C E-man's FUNNY BONE Collection Book for ALL ]=--
. T> III                     Page: 25

              The Funny Bone Bad Answer Man On Religion


  The Funny Bone Bad Answer Man receives many questions about religion.
  Confusion, misinformation, and rumors can run rampant.  The Bad Answer
  Man has compiled the following to help clarify some of the myths that
  surround religion and some of the often misunderstood concepts.
                                                             _|_
  The publishing house for the Jehovah's Witnesses            |
  is called the Watchtower Tract and Bible Society.           |
  Why?  Well, many witches start every meeting by            / \
  calling the "watchtowers" of each direction.              //_\\
  (So, they say, do the Masons.)  Now you know:            //(_)\\
  Masons and Jehovah's Witnesses are just fronts            |/^\|
  for witchcraft!                                           ||_||
                                                            // \\
  A lot of fundamentalist churches talk about              //   \\
  "sanctification" all the time.  If you look at          // === \\
  the word closely, SAncTificAtioN, you can plain-       // =-=-= \\
  ly see the word "SATAN" spelled out.  Sanctifi-       //   ===   \\
  cation is used by preachers who are really devil     //|         |\\
  worshippers!                                           |         |
                                                         |  __ __  |
  Most ministers use "Amen" a lot in their ser-          | |  |  | |
  vices, and at the end of all their prayers.            | | -|- | |
  If you look back to ancient Egypt you'll find          |_|__|__|_|
  that Egyptian priests always ended their        jgs  /`  =======  `\
  prayers with "Amen" as well.  This is because      /`    =======    `\
  the Egyptian sun-god was named Amen (or Amon)
  and they constantly called out the name of their god.  So-called Chris-
  tian ministers are actually worshippers of ancient Egyptian gods!

  The Bible plainly says to rest on the seventh day, the Sabbath or Satur-
  day, but most Christian ministers insist on meeting on Sunday, the first
  day.  Why?  Well, as you noted  above, most ministers really worship the
  sun god, so why not have services on the "day of the sun"?

  In the Dark Ages, when the Church ruled Europe, it charged everyone a
  tax, called a "tithe," of ten percent of their income, to pay for pro-
  tection.  Later, when church and state were separated, the state took
  over levying the tax (to pay for police and military protection).  Yet,
  many churches today still insist on making you pay your 10% tax, even
  though they no longer offer any protection at all!

  In Old England, "Hel" was the name people gave the earth itself.  When
  you died and were buried, they said you "went to Hel."  The Churches,
  to frighten people into paying them the tithes (see above), pretended
  "Hell" was a scary place of eternal torture.

  A lot of fundamentalist preachers, especially Southern Baptist ones,
  preach a doctrine called "premillenialism" or "before the thousand
  years."  This means that Christ will come to earth a thousand years
  before he's due to come!  How can this be so?  (After all, Christ can't
  arrive 1000 years before he arrives, can He?)  These ministers actually
  await the coming of the Anti-Christ!  Premillenialism is a code-word
  word for people who worship the Anti-Christ.

         _                                                 _
        (_'------Suggest The Funny Bone To A Friend-------'_)
        (_.===============================================._)

END

 

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