Text 760, 157 rader
Skriven 2004-12-13 03:40:46 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av Ben Ritchey
Ärende: Seasons greetings
=========================
                      'Twas the Month before Christmas,
                              and in Framingham,
                          I was following Tradition,
                           with my blue pen in hand ...

  A long time ago, in a Galaxy far, far away,  I was chartered to
provide the musical entertainment at the office Christmas party.  So I
penned a few rewrites on some  old  songs and A Tradition was born.
Published separately are the best  from years past.  And now I humbly
publish and present ...

       CHRISTMAS 1988 - The Next Generation Begins
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Earlier this year I published "Surf Yuppie" (ttto "Surf City"),
so it is only fitting that I start the festivities with ...

"Surf Christmas" - by D M Goldstein, 1988
(to the tune of "White Christmas")

I'm dreaming of a Surf Christmas,
just like the ones from days gone by;
Where the wave tops glisten, and surfers listen,
to hear breakers twelve feet high.

I'm dreaming of a Surf Christmas,
to every Surf Dude I confide,
Keep your board well waxed, and you'll fly,
and "I gotta take that one last ride."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"The Homeless Song (Reaganomics)" - by D M Goldstein, 1988
(to the tune of "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts)")

Homeless sitting by an open fire,
Frost-bite eating at their toes;
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,
drive the kids to Overdose.
(Everybody knows,) George Bush is our new President,
and you know that isn't right;
Democrats, with fear in their eyes,
will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Reagan's had his way,
he spent lots of dough, and bought lots of arms in his day;
And every Mother's child has cause to fear,
'Cause Republicans have four more years.

And, So, I'm offering this simple phrase,
for men eighteen to thirty-three,
although it's been said that there won't be a draft,
get out of here; get out of here; find another Country.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I always like to include something dealing with Computer Games:
(with thanks to Tiny Tim and the Orange Elves ...)

"The 12 Levels of Rogue" - by D M Goldstein, 1988
(to the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas")

On the first level of Rogue I killed a Dwarf, a bat,
and a Kobold who almost killed me!

On the 2nd level of Rogue I found a Shimmering Pool!
I dipped my Broad Sword,
'cause a Kobold had nearly killed me!

On the 3rd level of Rogue I read a Scroll of Sleep.
I slept for three turns
with my plus-two Broad Sword
'cause a Kobold had nearly killed me!

On the 4th level of Rogue I found a Staff of Wood.
Four shots of Drain Life!
Sleeping for three turns, a plus-two Broad Sword,
and a Kobold who almost killed me!

On the 5th level of Rogue I got really lucky:
Five Magic Rings!
Four shots of Drain Life, Sleep three turns,
a plus-two Broad Sword,
and a Kobold who almost killed me!

On the 6th level of Rogue a Shrieker called to me
Six elves with Cross-Bows!
Five Magic Rings!  Four shots of Drain Life,
sleep three turns, a plus-two Broad Sword,
and a Kobold who almost killed me!

On the 7th level of Rogue I killed a Troglodyte;
Seven Excellent Hits!
Six elves with Cross-Bows, Five Magic Rings! ...

On the 8th level of Rogue I found a Magic Room
with Eight Monsters Waiting!  Seven Excellent hits, ...

On the 9th level of Rogue a Rust Monster found me,
brought my armor to Nine!  Eight Monsters Waiting, ...

On the 10th level of Rogue I quaffed a red potion,
Experience Level Ten!  Level Nine armor, ...

On the 11th level of Rogue I took Inventory:
Eleven Rations of Food,  Experience Level Ten, ...

On the 12th level of Rogue I fell into a Trap:
Got Killed on level Thirty with
Eleven rations of food, ...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
And for those of you who find "The Season" much too hectic ...

"I'll be Cloned for Christmas" - by D M Goldstein, 1988
(to the tune of "I'll be Home for Christmas")

I'll be Cloned for Christmas,
there'll be three of me;
One to Work, and One to Shop,
and One just for Partys.

Christmas Eve, I'm certain,
I won't be alone;
I'll be home for Christmas,
or else I'll send a Clone!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Every now and then someone else beats me to an idea ...

"Wreck the Malls" - Bob Rivers' Twisted Christmas
(to the tune of "Deck the Halls")

Wreck the Malls this Christmas Seasons
Fa-la-la-la-la, La-la-la-la;
You don't need to have a reason
Fa-la-la-la-la, La-la-la-la;
Tamper with their P A System
Fa-la-la, La-la-la, La-la-la;
something something something something
Fa-la-la-la-la, La-la-la-la.

(I'll finish transcribing as soon as I get my stuff out of storage ...)
 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Other titles under consideration:
 "Have Yourself a Merry Little Merger"
 "God Rest Ye, Merry Pentagon"
 "George Bush is Coming to Town"
 "The Bells of Dagoba" (for you Star Wars fans)
and, "Knocking on Neighbors' Doors" (the Caroling Song)
(ttto Knocking on Heaven's Door)




   *                       *
  ###  Merry  Christmas   ###
 #####  Happy New Year   #####
   =      I C E-man        =

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