Text 849, 107 rader
Skriven 2004-12-28 08:39:30 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av Sean Dennis
Ärende: Re: Joke
================
Funny on 27-Dec-2004 03:16

     -=[Sean Dennis wrote IN a message to Greg Sears]=-

 SD> Hello, Greg.
   > On 26 Dec 04 at 23:43, Greg Sears wrote to All:

 GS> she said "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from
   > afar.'"

 SD> I could see that happening in the South, I really could... :)

  G-day Sean Dennis, and IT did!! "From Rocky Horror Picture Show!"

OBStory for Sean

The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: I C E-man

        Chapter I


The hand was pretty bad as well. But enough of plays on words and
onwards always onwards with the plot. Nigel felt a bit relaxed now, as
he had defeated another commie-bastard lorry driver. But, using his
inverse law he realized that something pretty bad would happen soon.
He wound his weary way along the windey windy woad and wondered about
why he was without water and wine. Luckily he saw in the distance a
public house and increased his pace to reach it. As he approached it
he recognized the "Leather Pope"..... Ah memories... of him and Ronnie,
who used to meet him there before going back to his den for a steamy
prickly sex session, (if you consider the anatomy of a hedgehog then gay
sex is probably quite painful). Oh well F*** Ronnie (not literally), I
have no love for him now. But Ronnie had different feelings. Was he at
this moment drowning his sorrows in the Leather Pope?............

Nigel pushed open the large creaky door with considerable trepidation.
He need not have worried for inside the air was full of soft,
mellifluous 'baa-ing' and the idyllic scene of orgiastic sheep in a
variety of interesting positions, none of which had not occurred in
Nigel's previous fantasies of course, as he was a hedgehog of the world.
But suddenly his senses came back to him because from halfway around the
world he could hear the agonized screams of a damsel in distress and he
knew that now was the time for action.

His senses instantly alert, Nigel glared around the room. The
atmosphere was smoky ( from his extensive research Nigel knew it was of
cigar smoke, from Havana, made on 3rd September 1987 ), the continuing
screams appeared to come from upstairs. Quickly, but silently, Nigel
made his way unseen through the crowded room ( how DOES he do that? ),
and over to the stair. Climbing up the old wooden stairs was tricky
( have you ever seen a climbing hedgehog ? ), but he got to the top with
surprising speed, agility and athletic grace. The screams came from
behind a locked door ( he knew it was locked, he saw films ! ), and he
peered through the keyhole to look. Inside a sight met his eyes. After
sorting out the various limbs, he realized that the screams were
probably not of distress !

This dress was floating mysteriously in the air without a second
thought for other occupants of the establishment. You see, Pinafore the
dress, (Penny to her friends - $40 an hour to strangers), was part-time
super-soprano singer with that well known group of Close harmony
singers, the "Willy Jockstrap and the fan-danglers". Her dubious voice
was not all that it should have been. Desperately trying to hit top-E in
their opening number, "She was only a fishmongers Daughter But....", she
cracked 2 mirrors, 5 World Records and came a close third in the World
"Orgasm faking" contest taking place 200 miles away in Dreamland.

And as we return to the story of our intrepid super-hero 'Nigel',
who's cause for peace, freedom and justice was so rudely interrupted
by ramblings about dresses and other such like, he returned downstairs
to drink some hearty ale with the people of this fine planet, who
loved Nigel so dearly.

He ordered a bottle of 'old peculiar' and sat drinking drowning his
sorrows as he realized he had not done one super-hedgehog thing all
day. He had not saved any soles from eternal sin, had not saved and
cats from disgusting cat food, and had not given his autograph to
anybody! Oh woe!

But in the distance, and getting closer, the evil, jealous forces of
darkness headed southwards to mame - even kill - our dear super hero
Nigel. Little did our friend know.

Ronnie opened the pub door, nuzzling it open to its full extent with
his nobbly nasal nostrils, only to have it slammed back in his face
by some inconsiderate piss-head who didn't appreciate the 'oh so
fresh' influx of air into the pub (by the way is it a pub or a hotel?)
Ronnie was not a ram who gave up easily!! Half an hour later he was
at the bar ordering a drink - called a BLOODY NIGEL - whilst laying
a fresh layer of excrement on the shoes of the inconsiderate sod.
Nigel was strategically placed on the opposite side of the bar,
drink in one hand, dry roasted peanuts in the other......



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