Text 852, 117 rader
Skriven 2004-12-28 08:42:32 av Greg Sears (1:153/307)
     Kommentar till en text av Sean Dennis
Ärende: Re: Joke
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OBStory for Sean

The Saga of Nigel the Hedgehog
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
        Chapter IV

From: I C E-man


Well, thought Nigel, I fight the forces of darkness once again, but that
can wait until another day. He returned to his car, a heavily customized
one, known throughout the world ( at least by NTH scholars ) as the
hyperultramegareally-
quitecoolgoesfastdaveandsophynotquitethesizeofavolkswagenbeetle car ( or
the Hedge-mobile or Road-hog ! ). He got into it, as usual it didn't
start, so he told it to hurry up, and it replied ... Well actually it
didn't reply, that is a stupid idea, and couldn't even make a TV series.
So, as usual, he got out the starting handle and gave it a quick burst
of speed. The car, as usual, tuned to perfection, roared into action.
Nigel managed to catch hold of it as it flashed over his head, and got
into the drivers seat just in time to swerve away from a lamppost
( incidentally not lit, despite the hour, you know what they're like )
The car flashed along the road until ....

He reached the location that was vital to his goal. The shop called
"Second Skin", a leather wear and rubber clothes shop that would supply
nigel with all the attire required for the first part of his mission
(which he HAD chosen to accept). He entered the shop through the doors
(another of his  amazing abilities) and started to look around at the
goods for sale. Rubber swimsuits, straps and thongs, buckles and studs,
whips and handcuffs. Eventually a rather seductively half undressed lady
sheep squeaked over to Nigel and said, "Can I interest you in anything
sir?", rather suggestively. "Yes", our  stiff upper lipped hero replied
(getting stiff in other places as well),"I need a full rubber outfit as
quickly as possible." She measured him up for the works, rubber
trousers, leather jacket, rubber jack boots and a few tightly fitting
straps. The jacket was very expensive as holes had to be cut for each of
Nigel's spines. Fitted up in his vital gear nigel left the shop feeling
fully equipped for his next trial. He creaked and squeaked back into his
car and off he went .... screeeeech ..... Nigel slammed on the breaks.
He had forgotten a piece of equipment which was vital to his goal ...
the eggwhisk. Nigel headed back towards "Second Skin". As he entered the
room the sexy ewe made a direct line towards him, knocking over various
fetishistic stands in her way. Their eyes met. Nigel's throat dried, as
he tried to ask the sexy dame the all too important question. "Do you
sell eggwhisks ?", he spluttered. The sexy chick's eyes lit up,
eggwhisks were her fetishism too. Quick wittedly she dribbled, "What
size ? We have large, extra large, and super-hero large". "What do you
think ?", Nigel boastfully quipped, as he pulled back his spines to
reveal his thick, heavy laiden utility belt. Nigel followed as the
leggy broad fingered Nigel behind a nearby curtain...

On the other side of the curtain, Mr. Benn found himself in a changing
room with a mirror and a door at the opposite end. He admired his
reflection in the mirror for a few seconds and then stepped through the
door. Suddenly, everything changed and he found himself on the film set
of a blue movie. He could tell this by the number of people huddled
together in the blue light inserting as many parts of their anatomy into
as many orifices of other peoples' bodies as was possible. As he got
closer, a flatulent middle-aged man in a director's chair cried, "Quick,
there's a hedgehog. Lets get him involved in the action." Before his
superfast brain had a chance to react Nigel was flung into the midst of
the activity.

Nigel was certainly in the midst of the activity, time seemed, like the
bodies, not so much to pass as to flow by. ' CUT ' shouted a voice. The
people, en masse ( How else ? ) got up and walked off the set, leaving a
much confused hedgehog behind. The director turned to him and said,
'I'll see you tomorrow, here are some keys for a hotel room'. Nigel
thanked him dazedly, and headed off. He somehow found it 'hard' to sleep
after the exertions, and merely drifted of into a haze of anticipation
of the next day. He got up bright and early ( well, early anyway ), and
headed for the set. He arrived at it and saw the familiar huddle of
bodies, he recognised some limbs as belonging to the people of the
previous day. The director said 'Go to the makeup room, Nigel'. Despite
the fact that Nigel desperately wanted to get stuck in, Nigel complied.
He went to the room, and stepped in. Inside the room stood a very sexy
ewe, who he felt he had seen earlier. He turned, but the door was
locked, and he realized, in a flash of knowledge, that he would not
return. Looking to the ewe, he thought, he had to release that
frustration somehow .
........................................................................
............( where are those noises 'coming' from )....................
........................................................................

But suddenly Nigel felt a rush of Morals coming on. He remembered his
mother, sitting at home, rocking in her rocking chair. Suddenly he
felt terribly guilty and began to wane a little bit. The sexy ewe
remarked on his apperance - how soft his needles had suddenly gone (well
do *you* know what happens?) - and how his steamy animal-like nature had
suddenly disappeared. But nigel was saved. As he realized what a good
time he was missing, with this dream-like ewe, a man he recognised from
the shop appeared from no-where (Nigel was jealous - he couldn't do
that!).

Nigel reached into his utility belt, pulled out his car keys and gouged
the man to death, then walked out casually (well as casually as you can
wearing bondage), another of his superpowers being the ability to pass
through locked doors. He now found himself back in the shop and
hanging from his utility belt was the skimpy negligee he had skilfully
removed from Nancy the nymphomaniac nurse in the 3D edition of
"Confessions of a veterinary Nurse with a rubber and hedgehog fetish"
that he had co-starred in. "Ahh, memories!", he sighed mournfully and
stepped out knowing that he would never forget his time as the hedgehog
world's first sex symbol.



   *                       *
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