Text 914, 67 rader
Skriven 2005-01-18 23:38:44 av DAVE COBLE (1:123/140)
Ärende: United Nations Strike Force....
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  There is a lot of talk about the United Nations creating a combined
strike force with troops from several nations included in it.

Could it work?  Let's take a look at one operation. A combined force
beach landing on a tropical island. When the troops hit the
beach.........

The Royal Marines go fishing.
The US Marines wait for CNN to arrive.
The French don't care whose beach it is; it's French territory now, and
say the English gave them no other choice. The Canadians watch the
Americans very closely, then offer guard their landing strip. The Dutch
have a beach party and smoke some dope saying the English don't
understand them. The Italians go sunbathing. The Germans land and build
a car factory. The West Indians go looking for the Dutch. The Austrians
just watch the Russians and Germans. The Chinese win the natives hearts
and minds then kill them. The SEALs arrive after dark and kill anyone
who is not a SEAL.

The Aussies and Kiwis land then start fighting each
other over a sheep. The South Americans send a contingent of 2000
generals. The South Africans start shooting at anyone with a tan. The
Saudi's start drilling for oil. The Russians open a chain of massage
parlours. The Brit airborne troops get charged with murder even though
they have not opened fire yet. The Spanish are late. The Portuguese are
late but blame the Spaniards. Delta Force makes a movie about the
landing. The Greeks and Turks turn up then send a bill to the Yanks and
Brits. The British Army cannot come because all six of them have flu.
The Japanese don't know who owns what ships and decide to sink them all.
The Californian National Guard contingent won't land until someone opens
a Starbucks.

The New Yorkers paint their Amtrak's yellow and will take
you ashore for 50 bucks. The Irish Army will be late because they say
they are stll celebrating St. Patrick's Day. The Israeli's start
building a kibbutz and shell the Palestinians as a precaution. The
Scandinavians like it off shore and stay there killing whales for the
Japanese. The Polish tunnel under the beach looking for coal. The
Palestinians say it used to be theirs but the English gave it away. The
Oklahomans have no damn idea what a beach is. The Scottish claim to have
found the beach first but accuse the English of stealing it. The Texans
look for anyone bad mouthing them.

The Mexicans invade Arizona by mistake. The Welsh say it's King Arthur's
last resting place but the English stole it. The Swiss apply for a bank
charter. The Lybians blow up two UN planes. The UN will send an Ambassador
if the member states pay their dues. The Kentuckians open a KFC. The
Panamanians ask the U.S. what they should do. The Floridians demand a
recount and free Prozac.

The EU want to set up a commission of 50,000 administrators paid for by
the English. The Swedes just want to screw. The Michigan contingent
issue a safety recall and sue General Motors. The Matell Corp. sends
10,000 GI Joe's and one Barbie. Some guy from Tennessee swears that
Elvis and Jimmy Dean are just over the dunes. The Rumanians and
Albanians finally arrive and surrender. The Coloradans cut off the
Kansan's water supply. H. M. The Queen will give anyone a Knighthood if
they can grab her a few hundred acres or find a job for Charles. The New
Hampshire contingent declares that everyone there is Sooooo Cruel and
open a soup kitchen. The North Koreans have no idea what is going on but
blame America anyway. Washington State NG builds a monument to Bill
Gates. The Pakistanis build a Motel Six, a convenience store and gas
station.

Jimmy Carter arrives and declares peace.
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