Text 499, 87 rader
Skriven 2004-08-31 01:21:00 av Andy Alt (1:14/250)
Ärende: Re: Swiss Army Knife
============================
-=> DAN CEPPA wrote to MAURICE KINAL <=-

 DC> Someone has to buy those Army Knifes!

 MK> Are they actually made in Switzerland anymore?

 DC> Is anything made where it's supposed to be made these days?

Is that a conspiracy? A neutral country mass-producing knives with 
built-in corkscrews and toothpicks? I see a possibility here:

They want us to take these with us on camping trips, using the knife to 
cut steak, toothpick to entice us into eating the steak knowing we won't 
worry about tooth decay, and with the knowledge that the corkscrew 
will promote alcohol use *after* the steak is eaten. Red wine with steak, if
I'm not misteaken.

What do we have after that? A country that is not only drunk but full on 
meat? What's next? Turkey with Triptophan(sp?)? An electric swiss carving 
knife for Thanksgiving camping retreats? Oh they'd like us to ingest Triptophan

wouldn't they...

A once strong nation, now defenseless and vulnerable: drunk, top 
trouser button and potentially a zipper open, while inside a flimsy tent, 
instead of having the luxury of armor that a tank provides?

They have mass storage sites inside the Swiss Alps of Swiss Army 
knives manufactured in a factory 40 stories *below* the mountain? Oh trust 
me, NORAD may be nice, but the Swiss Alps contains state of the Art Knives 
constructed by the most reputable and well-known knife-makers on the face 
of this planet.

Did I say the face of the planet? Oh you better believe that any 
technology as advanced and as widely known as the swiss army knife 
couldn't be developed by modern Terran technology from *any* Earthly 
nation, and indeed the Swiss are conspiring with E.T.s from all over the 
Galaxy.

You may think the knives being imported from Switzerland are 
well-constructed and have long-lasting life-time guaranteed warranties, 
but if you believe anything, believe this: Those are nothing compared to 
what's being manufactured in the depths of the Swiss Alps with the aid of 
alien technology boosting the quality and life of the gears used in the 
Swiss Knife assembly line conveyor belt. Tecumseh may be one of the most 
well-known manufacturers of small engines, but compared to the assembly 
lines working 24/7 in the cold depths of the Swiss Alps, the Swiss are 
eating the *good* cheese *without* the holes in it, and plotting for 
Global Secret Annihilation and Killing.

And yes, the covert ops have coded that to GSAK for short. In American 
Language (otherwise known as Mexican, Chinese, English, French, and many 
others) that does have a double meaning... Good Swiss Army Knife.

Coincidence? Well... you all may call me a conspiracy nut, Just another 
crazed conspiracy theorist -- but trust me even though you've never met 
me in real life nor met my parents to buy a used automobile; trust that this 
is not a theory, but a fact which can be proven by evidence.

1. A fact that I've devised in my own mind.
2. Proven only by me, and
3. by evidence that I've personally written down
4. using a #2 pencil and encoded with dots that can only be de-coded with the
most 
sophisticated school computer of the mid 1980's.

And if any Swiss are reading this, please be assured that I am not trying 
to offend any particular culture or make hasty or unfounded accusations 
against your fine "country." I'm really only making an attempt at humor, 
and hold no ill-will toward you or your GSAK producing colleagues or 
citizens. The truth is... I have had trouble getting ahold of your GSAK 
technical support, and wanted to get your attention. I lost the directions 
on the proper cleaning method for my GSAK and was wondering if you could 
email them to me.

I would also like to take this opportunity to apologize to the moderator 
of this echo, whom I don't know, nor remember his name or met personally; 
yet feel a kindred spirit because we both type when sending messages and 
feel a real connection there what with both having a qwerty layout on the 
keyboard; though his own keyboard maybe the new ergonomic kind.




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