Text 119, 72 rader
Skriven 2004-10-17 19:55:34 av Michael Haritonov (2:5066/70.22)
Ärende: [ftn.humor.filtered] Infra-yellow: Great Moments in Wacked Out SF
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Muahahahahahahahaha! :)

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Newsgroups: ftn.humor.filtered
 Area : ALT.HUMOR.BEST-OF-USENET
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ

>>      "Infra-yellow" is a reference to one of the great bits of
>> exposition in comic book SF: "Just as infra-red rays are invisible
>> red light, infra-yellow rays are invisible *yellow* light!"

>>      More or less. I don't  have the issue.

>>      What are the greatest examples of SF science so far off
>> the mark they aren't even wrong?

>I saw an infomercial today where a guy pumped the air out of a jar of
>marshmellows and explained that the marshmellows were expanding because the
>vacuum opens up pores.

Oh, boy.

Now I have to explain the absolute Greatest Moment in Wacked Out Real
Science.

Couple years ago, some people I worked with finally completed a long-delayed
project to build a very large vacuum chamber for testing plasma thrusters and
other advanced spacecraft propulsion systems.  Not the biggest in the business,
but maybe top ten nationwide.  Big enough to walk around inside, at any rate,
which is the important point.

Important, because in order to go operational it needed the approval of the
local Safety Nazis.  You know the type.  They have a checklist, nay, a whole
handbook of checklists, one of which involves Confined Spaces.  Big enough
to walk around in?  Check.  Airtight?  Check.  Can be filled with asphyxiant
gas?  Well, the MSDS for "Vacuum" apparently lists it as an "asphyxiant", so
check.  It's a Confined Space, and so the Confined Space checklist must be
implemented.

Issue the first: How do they make certain nobody can accidentally walk in
while the chamber is full of that deadly asphyxiant, "vacuum"?  No, the fifty
*tons* of force holding the door closed, is not an acceptable answer.

Issue the second: When the chamber is vented back to full atmospheric
pressure, where does the vacuum go?  If the chamber were accidentally vented
by opening the door (see above, and note exact Safety Nazi quote, "OK, say if
you were Superman and you opened the door"), where would the vacuum go?

Issue the third: What assurance is there, that when the chamber is vented back
to full atmosphere, there is an adequate percentage of oxygen in the chamber?
Hint: It is a big, big, big mistake here to acknowledge here that the laws of
statistical gas dynamics allow for one chance in 10^10^17 (no typo) that the
chamber will spontaneously refill with a sufficiently oxygen-poor atmosphere
to preclude respiration.

Issue the forth, and so help me God I am not making this up, again an exact
Safety Nazi quote, "How can you be sure there won't be vacuum pockets left
in the chamber, that someone could accidentally stick their head into?"

And, coupled with issue #2, there could be deadly vacuum pockets floating
around the lab!  Aieeee!!!!  Run for your lives!

It only took three weeks to find someone with the common sense and the real
authority to overrule the Safety Nazis on this one, and the SNs still take
offense if anyone brings it up in their presence.

Vacuum pockets.

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 * Origin: His Mixellence * Cheboxary, Russia (2:5066/70.22)