Text 12885, 82 rader
Skriven 2005-05-25 22:29:00 av LEE LOFASO (1:123/140)
     Kommentar till en text av JOHN HULL
Ärende: Monkey Tales
====================
Hello John,

>BS>For the same reason I go to the Monkey House at the zoo.

JH>You ever watch the people who go to the Primate House at a zoo?

Yes.

JH>They stand there and make goofy faces and gestures trying to get the
JH>apes to mimic them. The apes just sit there staring at them.

That depends on the apes and what mood they are in.

JH>You can almost hear them thinking "and they call us animals..."

Chimpanzees will mimic human actions.  A while back I watched a group
of people making monkey faces at the chimps, with a particular chimp
being extremely good at repeating the monkey faces shown.  And then the
zoo director showed up, fussing at the people making monkey faces.  The
chimp, seeing what was going on, decided to take things in his own
hands.  Somehow, the chimp escaped from his Monkey House, ran up to the
zoo director, grabbed some monkeydoo out of his ass, and threw some
monkeyshine at the zoo directer, hitting his target right square in the
face.  Then the chimp ran in the other direction, making his way around
the zoo grounds. It took hours for zoo personnel to catch the chimp and
put him back in the Monkey House.

JH>There used to be an old silverback gorilla at the San Diego Zoo back
JH>when I lived there

I wonder how the San Diego Zoo stacks up against Audubon Zoo in New
Orleans?  Years ago, Audubon Zoo was a laughingstock, with animals kept
in small cages.  But today, it is one of the best zoos in the country,
with all the animals kept in a natural habitat.

JH>(maybe Tim can tell us if he's still alive).

As long as Tim stays out of the Monkey House he should be okay.  ;)

JH>They had an open a viewing area, and this majestic old bull gorilla
JH>would sit up on a mound and watch the people lined up along the
JH>railing watching him, and the ones who tried to get him to react
JH>somehow.

Well, I certainly hope you do not look or act anything like that old
bull gorilla.  ;)

JH>He would sit there stock still, scratching his ass once in awhile
JH>until the crowd started to lose interest, then he would stick his
JH>hand under his butt, take a dump in it, and nail some poor slob
JH>with two pounds of gorilla shit.

It's baboons you gotta worry about.  Not gorillas.

JH>He seemed to particularly enjoy nailing some good looking female.
JH>He would then roll around on the ground as if he were laugh his ass
JH>off at the stupid humans - and he probably was!

Gorillas are very shy animals.  And that is the flaw in your story.
Chimps, on the other hand, are real hams, and love to cause mischief.
However, it is baboons which are the most fun to watch.

JH>Bob is just like those dimwits standing at the railing, thinking that they w
JH>smarter than old Albert (I think that was his name, anyway).  But, old Alber
JH>never missed as far as I know!

Thanks for the laugh, with your made-up story.  If you really want to
learn about monkeys and monkey behavior, try reading this classic -

"Behavior and Social Relations of the Howling Monkey", by Ray Carpenter.

Carpenter's monograph totally destroys the myth that primates are
obsessed with sex and that it is sexual attraction which keeps primate
troops together.  You see, John, it is the troop itself that is the
focus of primate life.  Not sexual attraction or fornication.

--Lee


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